Repeated heart

Every time my two children make me too noisy, I long for the chance to go out alone with my husband. I miss the weekend holidays after my wedding very much. The two of us always go to the movies hand in hand, then stroll around the streets of Brussels for a while, then buy some snacks to take home, sit opposite each other under the lights, and we can talk for a night.

After returning to Taiwan, the child came. During the first few years of motherhood, the mind and eyes were full of children. I never thought of going out to play. I haven’t been to the cinema for five or six years, not to mention climbing mountains or boating. However, when the children are older, they would like to take them out to play. However, every time I help two people to get dressed, I am already exhausted before I go out the door. After going out, this one needs ice, that one needs water, and that one needs it, which makes it difficult for me to deal with. Finally, I always come home tired and angry.

On the day of the 10th anniversary of their marriage, they took their two children to live in Sun Moon Lake for a few days. During the whole trip, they actually went to fight back. In the developed photos, my husband or I always stood behind the two laughing and scuffling children with a frown. There were two full rolls of negatives, but none of them were spread out with a frown. At that time, I made up my mind to say to my child: ” If I take you out to play with me again, my mother will be a fool!”

Later, once we made a determined effort to entrust our children to the care of our friends. My husband and I went to Hualien and Zhongheng alone. The scenery was still beautiful and the mountains and rivers had not changed. However, although we held hands and looked smart and sweet, we would not be in the carefree mood we used to be. When we run on the mountain during the day, we will see beautiful scenery and we will all say, ” next time we must take them to have a look.” At night in the hotel, I can’t help but want to call back and ask if they have slept. Even if our friends on the phone have repeatedly assured us that our children are very good and have gone to bed early, we will still entertain foolish ideas and wonder what will happen at home. After playing for two days, I had no interest. I hastily ended my trip and drove home quickly. I blamed myself all the way and felt that I was too selfish. It was ridiculous to leave such cute and cute two children at home. How innocent the children are! In the most should come out to absorb all kinds of knowledge in nature, but was selfish and foolish mother left at home.

So, of course, the next travel plan will be based on them. Even on the first day on the road, I also guided their interest and direction in observing the nature and tried to do what a gentle, patient and wise mother should do. When the problem arose, they did not cooperate very much. After three days, they finally came home as usual. After all the luggage was unloaded, I said to the children, ” If I take you out together again next time …” Before I had finished speaking, the two children grabbed the next: ” Mom is a fool!” Then burst out laughing.

Yes! They have seen through me and know that in this life, I will keep repeating my own mistakes. In this life, no matter what, all sorts of grievances and stumbles between parents and children will never be sorted out.