People in interpersonal relationships

I used to believe that the first feeling, and now bring their own team, apply to see a lot of people, I am very good for the first impression, especially for the first time to meet the psychological relationship inexplicable people more and more vigilant. But rather willing to choose resume has a bright spot, the interview to play a stable, attitude neither overbearing nor humble, speak not deep and shallow people. Such a person, often the deeper exchanges, more out of color.


In this respect, millet is my teacher. She is now a headhunting company, I was in the magazine, she also do state-owned enterprises HR. For the first time to interview, to her advice, she said: “do you like it, to be polite generous, but do not deliberately please who, after entering, do not go to Yan pressure, you will become the future Yan pressure ‘S face.

I passed the interview, after the entry, often worried that can not stand out in the same period. Millet and comfort me: “start mediocre is not a bad thing, do not put the boss’ s appetite is too high.You should work hard, but do not force too much, not to unscrupulous, every day progress, the course of time, you can win.

This bowl of chicken soup, I drink will be skeptical. But a year later, when I was promoted to do the editorial director, found in the first three months of entry, rushed to the front of the staff, some have left, some obscure.

Not that I run faster, more than they, but they run more slowly. They spent too much effort and enthusiasm in the initial work, the boss was very high, and soon, the relationship between the two sides become subtle: employees think the boss across the river bridge, do not read the old situation; and the boss that the staff pride, do not want to work hard.

If you give the boss the first impression is the universe invincible, he can not accept in your body to see mediocre.


Thought it was gold, the results found that copper, and that is copper, but found that there are gold, is completely different from the two mentality. The former is disappointing, while the latter is called a surprise. Although in fact, the composition of the two ore is similar, the difference is only the first show which side.

Millet repeatedly reminded me, at work, to carefully plan, keep charging, slowly release their energy. To do the people in the possession of copper, and not to do the possession of gold in the possession of people. The former is high value-added, potential shares; the latter called fake and shoddy, eat ugly.

I and millet work together in the workplace Daguai upgrade, then I write, shop, she also opened his own company. We all like to observe people, I am emotional, she rational. Some people who know on the dinner party, afterwards to discuss up, we often feel the same. I think the trail of the people, in her eyes is often pay deep.

Gradually, I found that people are divided into two kinds, one is resistant to calm type. Prudent, the beginning will be a sense of distance, heart to slowly open, like the same treasure. The other is a passionate impulse, it is easy to leave an unforgettable first impression. Communication deep, but found that he lacks the ability to deepen with people.

People are limited, not every side are wonderful, can take heart, often can not go kidney, can go kidney, no endurance to heart.


Easy to open up in the interpersonal relationship, usually divided into these categories.

1, pay deep

“I treat you as a good friend”, “your thing is my thing”, “my boyfriend sleep do not wear underwear” … … no friendship, but like to expose privacy, display contacts get others good, are pay deep. Pay deep, often because of the lack of social emboldened, want to get the fastest speed of others trust, but others are not fools.

2, too much force

When the relationship is not deep, on call, rush to pay the bill, high-speed rail plane shuttle without complaints, so you in the heart as a friend, but can not find people. It is not “conquered you, laughing”, but his energy is limited, can only be used to please new friends. Think old friends should understand him, but do not know old friends just like his enthusiasm only.

3, social and social

Every day for your friends circle of praise people, make you moved, want to do something for him. However, when you accidentally add a few common friends and find him to each person’s circle of friends are praise, including his very annoying people. This time, he no matter how good you, you will not be touched. Such a person, too sophisticated, that can be leaked in interpersonal relationships, but missed the sincerity.


Regardless of the workplace or circle of friends, are a marathon, to run the attitude of 100 meters to run the marathon, it is easy to Gaokaidizou.

I have seen too many interpersonal networks in the hard work of the ants, to make every effort to maintain just a fake network. In their world, only the lively circle of friends, but did not take heart of friends.

Although the interpersonal relationship from a village in the past went to a large network now, in which to become long-distance runners, getting better, operating from a stable interpersonal relationship, rely on the old set of three axes: frank, sincere, strength.

Frank and sincere is the foundation. Friends do not please each other, but seek common ground while reserving differences. Politely say their own point of view, do not reveal the edge of the performance of their own personality, you will offend those as long as the surface good-looking, people never take the heart of the false society of people, but can harvest three friends.

Realm, strength is advanced. Want to be friends with big coffee? Do not go to force to please, hard pull the relationship, to their own time, outside the social effort. You have more insight, naturally able to pay high realm of friends; your strength is strong, naturally you can enter the big coffee line of sight.

Writer Liu Zhenyun on the long friendship, talked about two points: three view to be more consistent, the interests should be complementary.

Honest, sincere, realm, is the three view, the strength is the benefit.

A person, in his spare time to do what, decided his career after five years. And your efforts outside your interpersonal relationships also determine your future circle of friends.

Those who spend a lot of time every day business people, and rarely contact with the usual day, but at the crucial moment out with you to help you, who is easier to become your friend?

Is to make friends, or do Aberdeen; is the intention to operate interpersonal relationships, or play a network, reflect your life plan.

To sprint speed to please others, pay deep, overdraft is their own time and enthusiasm; improve the connotation of the slow self-operation of the image, something that matter, nothing busy each, the accumulation of a person can not refuse business card.