At 3 o’clock in the morning, the telephone rang. When I arrived at the bar, my good friend Lily was lying unconscious on the bar, almost falling from the high chair to the ground. I read the message ” please get her out of here faster” from the eyes of the young bar owner, so I quickly paid the bill and helped lily into my car.
Lily married her foreign company colleague Mike five years after graduating from university, and promptly resigned after she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She became a housewife with husband and son. She took care of Mike and the children with all her heart. She was so careful that every grape they ate was carefully peeled and toothpicks were used to remove seeds. Even so, Mike showed his hand to Lily relentlessly today. He had to divorce Lily and he wanted to marry another woman.
The woman is a former client of Lily and Mike. She is not as young and beautiful as Lily, nor as good as Lily’s model figure, nor as tolerant and indulgent as Lily. However, she has one thing Lily could have but lost after she resigned: money, a lot of money. She runs a company, in addition to several houses in the city center and villas in the suburbs. She often uses her sports car to take Mike to and from high-end restaurants and clubs.
At noon the next day, the first thing Lily said when she woke up in my guest room was that I still loved Mike, and then she quickly blushed. I handed her a cup of coffee and told her that the Ayta people in the Philippines, women are responsible for fishing, hunting and collecting plant roots. Even during pregnancy, women still go hunting with bows and arrows. Almost all the food sources of the whole tribe are provided by women. Therefore, these women are ” powerful” and they can choose any man they want, and they can leave each other quickly and freely. They have an absolute say in the tribe, because it is their hard work that enables the whole tribe to survive and their position cannot be replaced. Lily, you lack the ability to earn your own living, so your voice in marriage is almost zero.
Hearing this, lily stopped crying. I continued to enlighten her. Dr. Vanessa Martin, who focuses on anthropological research on the status of both parties in marriage, has an incisive conclusion: if you are not making money, you are weak in marriage, you have no power in the world, and there is nothing to say.
While working as a mother in new york’s Upper East Side, Dr. Martin stopped by to do an academic field study in that unique world. The world is almost dominated by male primates. In marriage, they can decide whether to give his wife expensive gifts, whether to let her enjoy luxurious holidays, whether to let her have money to donate when doing charity, and whether his wife will have ” year – end bonus” sometimes written in the prenuptial agreement. These men follow their inclinations. They claim that they and their wives are equal partners, but it is easy for them to ignore their obligations and break the marriage restrictions. Finally, Dr. Martin reminds women that it is great to spend their husbands’ money, but the power brought by spending men’s money is not as great as that brought by being the moneymaker yourself.
I want to eat something now, and I know what to do, lily said. love comes after bread. I have to suppress my feelings, face the reality, calmly discuss the divorce agreement with him, and strive to maximize the interests of myself and my children. Then, calm down, find a job and start a new life of self – reliance. I can do all this, but let me cry a little longer.
She fell on the bed in pain and cried loudly. I went to the kitchen to prepare sandwiches for her. A lily or tens of thousands of lilies should be able to see that the road to the freedom of Ayta women has always been there, just walk.