In 2010, when I first entered the workplace, I was still an inexperienced child. For the first time, I went to Shanghai on a business trip with several colleagues. One night, I met with a famous Japanese brand and discussed cooperation in his store.
After exchanging pleasantries, I started to push a cup and change it. I had a good talk. As I am a rookie, I can’t get into the conversation. I just listen, smile apologetically and eat. I used to be a poor student and seldom ate Japanese food. I was very glad to face a pair of exquisite and delicious dishes.
Another dish was served. It’s a large plate of sashimi. Although I can’t name all kinds of fish, I believe they must be delicious. My colleagues and the restaurant owner were in a row. I couldn’t get in and just wanted to eat. However, due to etiquette, I was embarrassed to be the first to use chopsticks.
At this time, my eyes noticed that there was a round, light green thing on the corner of this large plate. It looked very lovely, a bit like Haagen – Dazs ice cream ball when shopping.
” Is this Haagen – Dazs? Not too busy eating sashimi, it’s not bad to have dessert first, but it won’t damage the sashimi’s plate ~ ~ ” I feel good for my little wit.
Therefore, I picked up the small spoon in front of the table and slowly extended it to the round thing. I dug a scoop of ” matcha ice cream” gently ( actually very hard ) and slowly delivered it to my mouth.
I noticed a slight difference in the eyes of my colleague and sister sitting opposite me. I paused the scoop of ” matcha ice cream” by my mouth, then nodded plausibly and had an eye contact with several other people to prove that I had been participating in everyone’s conversation seriously.
However, when good food is on the tip of one’s tongue, how can one not eat it? And it’s such a lovely ” matcha ice cream”! !
While they were talking and laughing, I quickly and quietly swallowed this large spoon of ” matcha ice cream”.
At this moment, I noticed that the opposite colleague’s pupil was obviously dilated and felt awkward. I thought to myself, ” Are you not happy that I have grabbed your favorite matcha ice cream? 」
However, the thought stayed in my mind for only one second, and within three seconds after that, my mind had no thoughts. Just feel nasal cavity, throat, chest, heart and lung, whole body, there is an indescribable airflow burning.
I really want to sneeze, but I have a presentiment that this is going to be an uncontrollable sneeze and I must be very rude. As a result, I will fight back, fight back, with my mind, the air pressure in my body.
I could not hold back my sneeze, but in the fourth second, my tears could not hold back and burst out of my eyes, forming two lines of tears that flowed wildly.
Everyone has seen me out of the corner of their eyes. The sister across the street couldn’t help asking, ” What are you doing eating so much mustard? ! 」
At this time, my tears were still running wild. I heard ” mustard” and countless grass mud horses flew by in my heart.
” I didn’t know it was mustard. I thought it was matcha ice cream! 」
” wipe ~ ~ ~ ~ tea ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ice ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ q ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ drench ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~”
The whole scene turned over with laughter and turned back and forth. One of them burst into tears.
I looked at each other with eyes and mixed feelings with the colleague who smiled tears. He looked at the tears that silly force laughed at, and I was that silly force.
( 2 ) ” Are you coming or not?”
In 2011, it was another winter, the four of us, and Shanghai on business.
For those of us who have just graduated and haven’t been there long, every business trip is an opportunity to meet old classmates. I contacted a female classmate who worked in Shanghai during the day and said that I had a meal together at night. I haven’t seen her for a long time. The other side readily accepted.
As soon as we got off the plane, several of us kept on seeing customers and inspecting the project until 10 o’clock in the evening to finish the day’s work. I broke my appointment with the female classmate several times in the evening, and the appointment was postponed again and again.
From the text message, it is obvious that the female classmate is a little unhappy. At ten o’clock, thinking, it’s so late, just forget it, so I sent a text message to the classmate, saying, ” it’s too late, it’s gone tonight, we’ll talk next time.” 」
Just after sending a text message, a colleague said, ” let’s go to the peninsula hotel and have a drink.” so everyone went happily.
As soon as we took our seats, a text message from the female classmate came: ” it doesn’t matter. it’s been a long time since I saw you. you don’t come to Shanghai very often. later, I’ll find a place to talk. where are you?” 」
” I’m on the peninsula hotel side, is it far away from you? 」
I made a complaint with my colleagues, saying that it was too late for my classmates to call me out for a chat. I really didn’t want to go. It was too far away.
Several colleagues continued to chat, then another text message came.
” Oh, it’s not too far away. It’s only 20 minutes by taxi. I haven’t seen you for a long time. I’m lonely in Shanghai. Come and have a chat. 」
In fact, I am already a little unhappy in my mind, because I really don’t want to go there. In the big night, the cold wind is bleak. Can’t I talk at another time? I replied to a text message: ” I’m still telling my colleagues about my work and I can’t leave.”
A minute later, the text message came again, ” it doesn’t matter. I’ll wait for you. it’s the weekend anyway. I won’t work tomorrow.”
Ten minutes later, the phone rang, ” are you finished over there? Waiting for you for a long time ah ~ ~ ~ ”
I didn’t reply, because chatting with colleagues about the company gossip was very high.
After another 2 minutes, the cell phone rang again.
” It’s very cold today, and my home is also very cold. 」
As a straight male cancer patient, my first reaction when I saw the text message was that the woman was doing it. The house was cold and the air conditioner was on.
After another 2 minutes, the cell phone rang again. We are gossiping about a leader, who is very high. I have just had a drink.
” XXX ( my name ), I haven’t had sex for a long time, you will not be able to get through later! 」
Seeing this text message, my pupil dilated and I almost blew out the wine.
At this time, my colleagues saw my abnormal expression and asked, ” what’s the matter? 」
I tried to calm down and said nothing.
But my colleagues are all quick-witted old fobs! When I said ” nothing”, CC sister grabbed my cell phone and saw a few big words on the screen and read them aloud.
” XXX, I haven’t had sex for a long time, you won’t be able to make it through later! 」
Colleagues laughed. He said, ” go quickly! ! Don’t come back tonight! 」
I was embarrassed. In 2011, I was still very simple. It seemed that there was no popular stranger at that time, and I didn’t even know what ” asking for a gun” was. After that, I finally knew why my friends said I was a single-threaded animal and did not understand the amorous feelings.
Every time I go on a business trip, everyone will talk about it and say to the public, ” XXX doesn’t need to book a hotel at all, and there is a place to sleep wherever you go …”
( 3 ) Soymilk
In April 2012, our project was about to open and the investment promotion work was basically finished. One night, we all found a place to have dinner together. Because many people drive, people use soy milk instead of drinks.
A table of people, almost ten, surrounded. Everyone took turns to deliver speeches, which was also a reflection of hard thinking and looking forward to the future.
It’s my turn to spend more than two years with everyone. I am very excited to see that the project is finally about to open. After a generous speech, I raised the cup full of soy milk and said, ” thank you all. I really feel it is good to work in our team! Come on, let’s do it! 」
I took the soy milk, in order to show my heroism, I had to drink it off.
However, I had a slight error in estimating the matching degree between the cup capacity and my oral space. When I looked up and poured all the soy milk in my glass into my mouth, I found it seemed as if I couldn’t swallow it all at once.
However, just now, in order to show the beauty and consistency of the action of ” gulp down”, my head was always tilted up, so the extra soy milk entered my nasal cavity.
After drinking, I sat down and lowered my head. At this time, everyone thought I would continue to say something and looked at me.
But I felt two hot liquids flowing out of my nostrils.
Yes, it’s soy milk that I didn’t swallow just now. Glistening, like two snots, but this white liquid flows faster and reaches the upper lip at once.
Have you seen what it looks like to have too much nosebleed? Imagine replacing nosebleeds with soy milk?
Every time after dinner, everyone would say, ” waiter, a bottle of soy milk, XXX, we must do it later!” 」