Khrushchev had several ” famous” tempers on the diplomatic stage. Nixon, recalling his ” kitchen debate” with Khrushchev, described it this way: ” Sometimes he would make a noise, sometimes he would be in high spirits, sometimes he would be open – minded, sometimes he would show friendly and charming charm.
However, several times his emotions were almost out of control – he pressed his thumb hard against my chest and kept shouting – and then I found out that Khrushchev had never really lost his temper, but deliberately used it. He is the master of temper, not the servant of temper.
” Khrushchev’s fickle mood is consistent with his informal life style, but resourceful Nixon saw through his diplomatic strategy – the” temper offensive ” whose authenticity is difficult to distinguish. It is despicable to use temper, but from this example, we can see that temper has its value – under certain conditions, temper can make you turn bad into good. We cannot call the word ” temper” harmful as soon as we see it.
Therefore, it is not difficult to think of a metaphor. Tapping the radio with your hand will produce the following results: if the radio is good, it will either be out of the way or it will be damaged; If there is something wrong with the radio, the result of beating is either worse or worse, or it will remain the same or it will be filmed well.
If you lose your temper with someone, it is just like beating the radio with your hand, and it will have a similar result: if the other party does not have the defect that makes you lose your temper, the other party will either ignore it or have bad feelings. If the other party has shortcomings that make you lose your temper, the other party either adds ” deficiency” to ” deficiency”, or ignores you, or immediately corrects the mistake.
This analogy gives us the following enlightenment.
First, be a gentleman to those who shouldn’t lose their temper. Keep calm when there is a mass in your chest.
If the radio is not broken, the result of beating may be to make it broken. If there is something wrong with the radio, beating may make it worse. If slapping has no effect on the radio, slapping is futile and impolite.
Therefore, when it is not certain that the radio is broken or that beating is beneficial, do not beat the radio. The same is true of the issue of temper tantrums. If you get angry with others for no reason, or if you do not do it in the right way or at the right time, it is possible to crack your interpersonal relationship.
Therefore, when the other party has no great shortcomings, when it is not suitable to lose his temper here and now, and when he can not lose his temper, he must be a gentleman. Sometimes, your magnanimity and tolerance are also a sharp weapon to let the other side get rid of the past and move deeply.
The magnanimity of Tang Dynasty minister Lou Dede is quite comparable to that of a teacher. Lou Dede has repeatedly recommended Di Renjie to Wu Zetian to take on the post. But when Di Renjie became prime minister, he pushed Lou Dede out of office. In response, Lou Dede took it easy and did not lose any temper.
Later, Wu Zetian told Di Renjie that she didn’t know him and didn’t want to use him. It was Lou Dede’s recommendation that he became prime minister. Wu Zetian also showed Lou De’s dozens of recommendation forms to him, which made Di Renjie extremely ashamed.
Di Renjie sighed with emotion: ” Lou Gong Sheng De, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m too far away!” Lou Dede is a man of great wisdom. He doesn’t lose his temper that ordinary people may lose, and he also gets praise that ordinary people can’t get. If Lou Dede fought back against Di Renjie, what would be the result? There is no doubt that the relationship between the two people is getting worse and worse, to the detriment of himself and the court, so Lou Dede chose not to lose his temper and made a long story.
However, some people are furious when they hear a bit of coldness, see a bit of injustice and think of a bit of right and wrong. They hit children, smash household objects, swear words and do stupid things. They become slaves of temper. These people lack the ability to keep cool head first when being hurt by others.
The prescription for controlling temper is: when there is anger in your heart, when things are very strange, you must count 99 times in your heart. After counting, it is not too late to act again. This prescription is really extraordinary. If you rely on it for a while, maybe your anger will disappear, misunderstanding will be eliminated, heaven and earth will become wider, reason will dominate, and disaster will disappear without a trace. This is called ” counting ninety-nine silently, good things last long.”
According to Shi Zai, Guo Ai, son of Tang Dynasty minister Guo Ziyi, who had rendered meritorious service in pacifying the An – Shi Rebellion, married Princess Shengping, daughter of Tang Daizong Li Yu. Once, when a young couple had a quarrel, Guo Ai said hastily, ” Do you rely on your father as the son of heaven? My father still thinks the emperor will not do it! ” After hearing this outrageous remark, the princess cried and went back to the palace to complain.
After hearing this, how can Li Yu not get angry? However, he has repeatedly considered that the angry words of the children are nothing and it is unwise to investigate the crime. In the face of Guo’s father and son who had offered a humble apology, Li Yu comforted them: ” as the saying goes,’ no idiot, no deaf, no writer, weng.” There is no need to listen to the bickering among children in their boudoir! ” Li Yu privately urged his daughter:” it is true that his father thinks the emperor is not acting. if he does not, where in the world is his surname Li? ” Tang Daizong was not dazed by the dazzling brilliance of the emperor. He had a clear mind and figured out how to deal with the matter properly. He became the master of his temper.
If Li Yu cannot keep calm and control the emotional valve, he will lose his son-in-law and hurt the hearts of the heroes even if he cannot lose his country.
Second, to temper should be, to do clank man of iron; When it is really necessary to spit it out quickly, one must pay attention to art.
Beating is effective when there is something wrong with the radio and there is no other good way. As the forest grows larger, there are all kinds of birds. Even if you are cautious in dealing with interpersonal relationships and tread thin ice, it is inevitable that some people will pick on your nose and pick on your eyes, deliberately spreading injuries like salt on your wounds.
These people of inferior nature feel that you are weak and can be bullied. They disregard your dignity and do whatever they want with you. In case of this kind of situation, you should adopt Confucius’s method of ” repaying a grievance with a straight line”, straighten up your spine, rightfully discuss the merits and demerits with him, choose the right time and adopt the right method to release the sulking in your chest. This is much better than anger accumulating in one’s chest, leading to illness, or unfavorable environment, worsening.
There was a young man of small stature, who spoke slowly and softly, treated others humbly and peacefully, and did not argue with others when he saw benefits. When I first joined the work, I was regarded by someone as a ” person who can scold and scold casually” and often got mad at him for no reason. Later, the young man couldn’t help it, and poured out the anger accumulated in his chest for a long time.
He immediately felt extremely happy in his heart, and what he could not think of was that the person who picked on the bank for no reason changed his old face and became more polite to him. This made him deeply touched, and finally he wrote an article about this experience and feelings and published it in a newspaper. At the end of the article, he said: ” Temper is like arsenic, which is generally useless, but sometimes it is a good medicine.”
We should pay attention to art and control our temper. Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t be indiscriminate, don’t trust the horse by the frozen feelings. If one is ” led by the nose” and ” counterattacks inappropriately” by his temper, he is digging a gap in interpersonal relations that will be difficult to bridge in the future. It is not a wise move.
Pay attention to art, that is to say, temper should be reasonable, grasp the scale, pay attention to strategy, touched each other. To be specific, it is to learn from famous teachers and accord with people’s hearts. The temperature is appropriate, not too small; The rights and wrongs alternate with each other in a clever way. It is not to hurt the other party, but to stimulate its heart. If the other party shows guilt instantly, it will immediately ” cool down” and show your broad mind and magnanimity of ” giving three points even if you are right.”
In a speech to the public, British writer Lamb was angry that someone deliberately made strange noises. Lamb wanted to criticize this kind of disrespectful behavior, but he thought it would reduce his image in the speech. So he adopted a tactful method to criticize: ” As far as I know, there are only three kinds of things that make boos – snakes, griffin birds and fools. Can you come to Taiwan and let me know?”
The audience was suddenly quiet, so lamb began his speech with ease. This artistic temper tantrum served two purposes: to rectify the order of the venue and to enhance his prestige.
Beating the radio must not be a mistake, and you must be careful when you lose your temper. If we can reach the state of never losing temper and can solve the problems that need to be solved, that is the best.