A person’s life is ultimately to live out

Everyone tells a story about himself.

Psychologist Eric Bourne believes that everyone has formed a “life script” in childhood, like a person’s life script, there will be start, unfold, climax, end and end.

Usually, if we don’t know ourselves very deeply, we don’t know what this script is, only know it when it is expanded.

Scripts written by writers and directors, often prototypes are their own life scripts. And their most touching stories are not just their own life scripts, but also human common story scripts.

Japan’s “King of Animation” Hayao Miyazaki, in his Oscar-winning “Spirited Away”, there is a shot for the river god, which is remembered by Hayao Miyazaki, a river he used to pass when he was a child. In the clearing of the mud, he saw that the river was very clear on the surface, and there were so many things in the mud.

This made Ogiya Miyazaki impressed, and he used the material in the shot for the river god. Once this kind of consciousness is formed – the best story of an actor, director, and novelist is often their autobiography, and you may see a lot of things.

For example, Stephen Chow, all his films have one thing in common: a small person is trampled and looked down upon, and later struggled to become a powerful role in society.

And in “Westward Journey” and “Journey to the West”, you can see that in the face of the favorite woman, the actor has been escaping and humiliating her until she proves her love with death, the actor is sad to become “God” “.

In the real life script, the star is also a god-like existence, but also extremely lonely. When he talked about marriage, he became inferior and felt that he could not have a marriage.

Perhaps he did not realize that he repeated the same pattern in many important works.

As an audience, we are watching these stories. Some stories have deeply touched us, but please don’t watch movies, TV, and novels as a simple entertainment.

In fact, when you are touched, you need to ask yourself: Why did these stories touch me? Is it because this is my story?

Repeated experience is to heal

Destiny is always associated with reincarnation. Reincarnation usually refers to the meaning of past and present, but in fact, our life is constantly in reincarnation.

Freud discovered this very early. In 1920, he published the article “Beyond the Principle of Happiness” and proposed the concept of “forced repetition.”

He found that the child would throw his favorite toy out of the crib, crying again to bring the toy back, and repeat the process.

Freud believes that in this process, children use toys as a substitute for their mothers.

They continue to throw away the toy and get it again. In fact, it is repeated and repeated, and the mother will leave the wound from time to time. These repetitive experiences are valuable.

First, the mother leaves from time to time, the child can not control, the mother is leading, and the child is leading the child when throwing toys. In this way, they turn the uncontrollable wound into a trauma that they can partially control.

Our adults will know the truth: instead of being defamed in a relationship, it is better to take the initiative to get rid of others, which will protect their narcissism.

Second, our tolerance to trauma may increase as we continue to experience this trauma.

Third, in the new repetition, the new possibility will increase, and the old wound will be healed.

It must be emphasized that the life we ​​grow up is to experience the life of all kinds of traumas continually and to grow as we learn to deal with trauma.

In the process, it may also contain more beautiful philosophies. For example, Rumi has such a verse: the wound is where light enters your heart.

Therefore, it is not necessary to be too sensitive to the word “trauma”.

When we know the concept of “forced repetition”, we will know that we should not fall in the same place. This is something that few people can do.

Compulsive repetition is not only about trauma and pain, but also any important emotion. From this, we can draw a simple truth: the life of most of us is to repeat the same thing constantly.

If you get happiness, you repeat happiness;

If you learn to trust, you repeat trust;

If you get pain, you copy the pain;

If you learn to be hostile, you repeat the hostility;


This is fate!

What kind of autobiography do you want?

The destiny that we believe is the external force that is determined by us is, to a large extent, our own choice. The problem is that we are not clear enough about how we choose to do it.

Since it is said that it is our own choice, it can be said that our life is like living an autobiography for ourselves.

However, before this autobiography has been fully developed, can we better understand it and change this autobiography? Of course, this is also the meaning of learning psychology.

First of all, you have to know your own autobiography. How do you know your autobiography? We introduce a few methods.

The first method is the easiest, imagine your epitaph. Imagine that after your death, you should engrave the most concise words on your tombstone to summarize your life. What words will you engrave on your tombstone?

This is a therapeutic technique developed by American psychologist Owen Yaron.

I have done this practice many times. Over the years, when I imagined my epitaph, I always said this sentence : ” This is a brilliant observer.”

But from the end of 2015, this sentence can finally be changed. It can be: “He jumped into the abyss, he returned safely, and he tasted life.”

I prefer the author of “Red and Black” and the epitaph of the French novelist Stendhal: ” Milan Man Henry Bell sleeps here. He lived, wrote, loved. ”

Therefore, I have been persevering in knowing myself, hoping to live my true self. Everything is autobiographical.

The epitaph is too simple. If you want to know yourself or others in more detail? I can introduce a technique that I use in consultation.

This is the second method we are talking about:

❶ ask visitors earliest memory of that thing or details.

❷ Ask the three most important things or details of the visitor’s childhood memories.

The earliest thing in memory, or the deepest thing in memory, is a metaphor of one’s life, including the dream that you most impressed, or the dream you have been doing. If you don’t see this metaphor, your life will always be spinning.

In this method, the key is not the thing, the key is your emotions, emotions, and the thoughts you send out.

This mind is a powerful, self-fulfilling prophecy that pushes your life in this direction and evolves into your life.

However, remembering the earliest and deepest things, unless we have complete memories and strong emotions and emotions, then we will remember the minds of the time clearly.

But with regard to memory, we may forget the rational factual information, or we may forget the feelings of the time, so it is difficult to clearly understand our own life metaphor.

But as an adult, we can all use one method: observe an important life event of yours, observe its beginning, development, climax, end and end, pay attention to all important moments, and your important feelings and hearts. Read.

This is the script that observes your own life . The best observation is an important relationship, especially a relationship, or an important career.

Take the relationship of love, you observe how it starts, how to develop, how to reach the climax, how to end, the end of the end (ie how you and the other side will develop), pay attention to all the important moments in the whole process, And your feelings and thoughts.

Especially after the relationship is over, what kind of thoughts will you give birth. It is also conceivable that if you are a novelist, you will write a love novel based on your love.

People are constantly falling in the same place, so by intercepting a complete relationship development process and observing its birth from death to death, we can completely observe our life script.

If you observe the development of a relationship in detail and completely, and then simply look at the development of your other relationships, you may be shocked that they are so similar. The same is true of the cause.

It is worth mentioning that life scripts must be image-based pain and love, hatred and jealousy, in order to produce a true external picture.

Then, you can also ask yourself: What kind of life are you holding? If you are not writing a novel, but making a movie for yourself, what kind of picture will you make? In particular, you have to be in it, you are the absolute protagonist.

If you really outline the new life picture, then it is really likely to be your new autobiography. At this time, you are not just repeating the script of your childhood, or the owner of your own destiny.

Life is very wonderful, and one of its most amazing things is that human nature seems to be dark and unclear, but in fact everything is traceable.

And we have to do it wants to understand our inner consciousness is how to influence and even determine the external reality, so that by external reality, to get to know our inner consciousness. So consciously rewrite your own autobiography of life, have a life of their own budget.