I have to admit that some “illness” is really thinking out, such as anxiety.
Confucius tells us that it is really reasonable to think without saying anything. A person who thinks too much, will be confused, will be anxious, and even become a dwarf of action, wasting a lot of time.
A few days ago, a reader WeChat contacted me and said: “I feel very anxious recently. I am nearly 30 years old. I am under pressure from the mortgage loan to support my family. I want to change careers and change my career with a high salary, but I don’t know where to go?”
This reader has been working in a state-owned enterprise since he graduated. For seven years, he is stable and comfortable. The only drawback is that his salary is not high.
I asked him: “What preparations have you made for the transfer?”
He thought about it and replied to me: “No, since graduation, 7 years has not only added nutrients to the brain, it seems that even the university has lost a lot of it.”
I asked again: “You are only beginning to worry today, feel less wages?”
“Of course not!” His rebuttal came very quickly. “In fact, when you enter the unit, you know that this is a place for the elderly. You can’t expect too much salary. I have thought about changing jobs, but I don’t know what to do. I go to private companies and feel hard. I don’t know how to speak English, but I’m not sure. I’ve thought about accounting, I’m going to take so many exams, I’m scared, I’m not prepared. I’ve thought about starting a business with my friends a few years ago, but I’ve heard The success rate of entrepreneurship is less than 4%, and it’s done…”
Listening to the reader’s mental history, I am thinking, in the 7 years, in addition to the untiring work, enough one person to learn a foreign language, take a note, or even go back to school to read the master’s and doctor’s, if true Entrepreneurship, even if it is not successful, has already accumulated a lot of experience, a lot of contacts, and will not be anxious.
However, he spent his time thinking about the future, and he did not make a decision. Today, there is only anxiety left.
A recent visitor, a senior student, said that the reason for the visit was that the university was about to graduate, and it was not known whether it was a postgraduate or an employment. Therefore, in several consultations, we discussed this topic.
After a while, I said that I want to go to graduate school. On the one hand, I like the environment of the school. I want to stay for a while. On the one hand, I want to cross-professional examination of my favorite philosophy.
After a while hesitating or working first, after all, the family economy is not too affluent.
In a few months, she spent time thinking about swinging around, tangled herself, and sought advice from friends and senior schoolmates, even because of disagreements with her parents, quarreling with her parents, and the cold war. unhappy.
It’s just a consultation. When I asked her very seriously whether she was “a postgraduate or a job, what preparations did you make during this time?”, she suddenly realized that “I always thought that I could act if I thought clearly, but suddenly I found that when I didn’t think clearly and figured out, the days of postgraduate entrance examinations were getting closer and closer, and the opportunities for campus recruitment were getting less and less, and I didn’t do anything.”
You see, sometimes, the more we think, the more anxious we are.
We cocked Erlang’s legs, brushed WeChat, chased the online drama, strolled over Taobao over and over again, waiting for the “Double 11” discount, anxious when the salary can rise, the house price can drop, but only did not read a book. More research and research work, overweight your own workplace, fatten your wallet, and live a “buy, buy, buy” day.
We are eating hot pot, anxious about how to do with the girlfriends when we are getting fat, what should we do if the skin gets worse? Can’t wear beautiful clothes anymore, take photos of beautiful photos, will it be rejected by her husband, even the grown-up children will feel that other people’s mothers look better, but they just refuse to get up and go to the gym to enjoy the thrill of sweating.
We are anxious when we are old. Who will provide us with a pension, and the pension is not enough. The son can not rely on it, but he does not have a good time to talk to an insurance agent to add some protection for his later life.
You said, it’s still a matter of asking, of course it’s easier than it’s easy!
However, thinking about how to save food and shrink, after half a month of you; think of the beautiful but expensive clothes in the mall, you can’t sleep at night; think about the weather, you save money, you save money, days, Is it really easy?
Is it, thinking about it, and being anxious.
In fact, sometimes, if you can cure anxiety, you can only get up and act. Just like my visitors, when I realize that I think too much and do too little, I am doing my self-study, preparing for a postgraduate study, and posting my resume intermittently. When I run a few job fairs, tell me. : “The days are really full and happy.”
Sometimes, the so-called choice is not the result of thinking, but the reward of action. Just like Feng Xiaogang, if you don’t have a good director, you probably won’t have the chance to become a movie tycoon. Just like Sun Hao, if you don’t do an actor, you won’t even be able to start a Taobao shop.
Of course, the anxiety mentioned here is not an “anxiety disorder” in psychology. There is a fundamental difference between the two. Anxiety is an emotion that ordinary people can have, and anxiety is a kind of neurosis. It needs to seek professional treatment, and it cannot be treated simply by action.
There are several points in the diagnosis of anxiety disorders. You can compare self-tests:
1. For most of the six months, for too many hours or activities, showing excessive anxiety and worry.
2. This kind of anxiety is difficult to control.
3. At least three items with the following symptoms:
A. Restless or excited or nervous.
B. It is easy to get tired.
C. It is difficult to concentrate or have a blank mind.
E. Muscle tension.
F. Sleep disorders (difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep, or restless, unsatisfactory sleep).
4. This anxiety, worry or physical symptoms causes clinically meaningful pain or damage to social, professional or other important functions.
Also, you can also do SAS anxiety self-measurement online. According to the results of the Chinese norm, the results of the assessment were divided into mild anxiety at 50-59, moderate anxiety at 60-69, and severe anxiety at 69 or higher.
Promise me, if anxiety is a disease, not self-control, be sure to seek professional psychological treatment, if not, immediately get up, OK?