Cui Cheng, a 15-year-old, has always been a sly man. This year’s high school entrance exam has just ended. He is having a stress-free holiday, but Dad has assigned him a new task – staying with his tutor for one morning, learning and chatting. Mr. Cui told reporters that the child is so big, and the words are still twisted and twisted. Like a girl, she used to name her female tutor. This time, he just found a male tutor for his son, hoping to bring him back to the boy. .
Mr. Cui said that his work has been very busy. His son has been brought by his wife since he was a child. His wife likes girls. Sometimes he dresses Xiao Cuicheng as a girl. When he grows up, he becomes more and more quiet and timid. When he taught his son to learn to ride a bicycle, his son was so scared that he cried; he realized that the problem was serious.
The father realized that his son needed men’s guidance, but he did not do enough. The son needed not a male tutor, but he himself, who needed him to personally participate in his son’s life and education. Dubson, a famous American psychologist, said: “Let a boy be with a suitable man, this boy will never go on the evil road.”
On June 15, 2008, Father’s Day, Chicago “God Apostle Church”, US Presidential Candidate Obama screamed to the black fathers at the presidential campaign rally: “Come back! Father!”
In the speech, Obama said:
The most important thing in building the foundation on which our lives depend is the family. What we must recognize and affirm is how critical each father can play on this cornerstone.
But if we are honest, we should admit that too many fathers are not in their place, too many fathers are missing, and too many fathers have not fulfilled their father’s responsibilities.
Statistics tell us that children who have no fathers in their lives are five times more likely to fall into poverty or commit crimes, and they are nine times more likely to leave school in the future, and that they are more likely to be jailed in the future by 2 () times. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, are more likely to run away from home, and are more likely to become parents when they are underage. Due to the absence of the father, the foundation of our society has become weaker.
Father is the son’s first man’s example
The boy’s understanding of men began with his father. From the father, the boy learns how to raise his hand, how to treat people, how to care for women. Every father can easily find his own shadow from the boy. When each son grows up, he will find himself more and more like a father.
The study found that a boy full of masculinity, his father’s parenting behavior is often decisive and authoritative. On the contrary, if the father is weak and incompetent at home, and the mother is dominant, then the boy’s gender identity to the male will be seriously hurt, and the boy will show too much feminine temperament. Boys who are aggressive in behavior often have a weak, inactive father, and those who are shy and inferior, most of their fathers act arbitrarily and are indifferent to boys.
Imitation is the basic way to form a boy’s gender role. Father provides a basic model of men. Boys learn how to treat people and how to deal with problems through observation and imitation. Psychologist Mike Muni’s findings point out that compared with those who have been in contact with their father for less than 6 hours a week, boys who are in contact with their father for at least 2 hours a day are more masculine and they are engaged. The activities are more open, they are more enterprising and more willing to take risks.
The father is a playmate of the boy, and he is accustomed to the special attraction of the boy with the unique strength and behavior style of the man. The American psychologist Shaffer’s research found that in the drama, the father would strictly demand the boys to play games suitable for their gender according to the gender role standards set by the society. Otherwise, the father would punish the boy, which made the boy better. The land has learned the roles and behavior patterns of men.
Father’s parenting style is more in line with the needs of boys’ development
Fathers are often raised with their mothers; not, in most cultural and social classes, fathers often hold children in different ways, and mothers usually use the same posture every time. The reason for the parents to hold the child is to die. The mother holds the child mainly to take care of him, while the father holds the child more through the physical exercise and the child to play games.
In parent-child interaction, psychologist Ram research found that mothers often play games that she is used to playing with children, while fathers attract children to play games that have power, stimulating and unpredictable results, or that children are not used to. The game that is novel and happy, the mother gives the child more stability and security, and the father: giving the child more variability and diversity. When fathers educate their children, they often only give them a big frame and leave a large space for their children.
When faced with conflict, the mother tends to accommodate the child, while the father pays more attention to “standing the rules.” When a child encounters difficulties, the mother tends to help the child immediately, while the father often forces the child to develop his or her own intelligence and ability, so that the child can fully exercise the ability to be will and solve problems.
In short, the father is nurturing the boy’s masculinity, playing a boy’s independence, responsibility, risk-taking and enterprising spirit, playing a greater role in nurturing the boy’s physical fitness.
Father and son belong to male
Men and women may come from different planets, and only men can fundamentally understand another male.
The problems faced by his son’s growth are most likely the confusion that his father used to be. The experience and experience of father’s growth is more likely to be the key to his son’s problem solving. Father and son have almost the same brain structure, and the same male hormones are in their bodies. The father’s perspective is closer to the son’s perspective, and only the father can understand what the male hormone in his son’s blood means to him, and understand what sex is and what is love. If you recognize significant differences between men and women, then you will realize that father plays an important role in the growth of his son.
Of course, the father’s statement that the boy is “more important” is not to deny the importance of the mother in the process of parenting. We only want to emphasize that the father plays an irreplaceable role in nurturing the boy’s manhood. The father is a boy. Growing up to be a guide for men.