Historical jokes

  Opium War, the Qing army seized several British prisoners, and the Daoguang Emperor was very excited. The question asked during the interrogation was: “How many places does the country have? Is there any drought in English to my return to Xinjiang?” The British prisoner thought the question was too strange and not easy to answer.

  In the middle of the 19th century, the Western powers were iron-clad, and the whole world was colonized, and they were wild. As the first person of “Da Daguo, Huang Huang Tian Dynasties”, he was unaware of the changes in the world, and his words were like a child. The ignorance of Daoguang’s ignorance reflects the self-respect of the Qing Dynasty. However, the historical evolution has not been completed. There was one thing that made us blindly “proud” for a long time. That is, “The only visible trace of the earth from the satellite is the Great Wall of China.” Later, this statement proved to be unfounded and rumored. It can’t just be regarded as a deficiency of scientific knowledge. In the end, it is still a kind of illusory “great state mentality”, and the heart of the world obscures the horizon.

  (2) The Gengzi Indemnity, the Qing government implemented the New Deal, and sent a large number of students to go abroad to stay in the country. Someone asked why the Governor of Huguang, Zhang Zhidong, who handled this matter, did this? He answered the simple and exquisite: “The same text, the same species, the same province.” It means that the words and races are very close, and you can save a lot of money.
  Zhang Zhidong has an official voice, and the famous idea of ​​”Secondary for the body and Western learning for use” comes from him. In the late Qing Dynasty, when the government was sore and rotted, he still digs into the silver, and it is also very valuable. However, today we have repeatedly banned the public interest in the disguised travel, “exploration”, spending the country’s money is not distressed, not spending money, spending time and flowers, I wonder if anyone can think of the “three-in-one” theory of this feudal era official? In fact, do not seek “same province”, but seek the right path, do not go to the Vatican to “inspect” what industrial manufacturing ridiculous things.
  (3) The
  Republic of China held a meeting. The participants questioned the economic problems of Kong Xiangxi. He was sweating and it was difficult to argue. After the urgency, there was a wise mind, and he said: “I am the 75th generation grandson of Confucius. The corruption is not going to be done.” Everyone was surprised and speechless.
  The pores of the four major families are criticized by their financial power and self-fertilization. The descendants of this “sage”, there is no Confucian trip, there is a famous family’s mouth, and its sophistry is actually this logic. Why doesn’t he say that he is the hole of Kong Fangxiong? Coincidentally, there was a corrupt official in the South, which was exactly the same as what Minister Kong said. The masses reported his problems and organized to talk to him. He said, “I am a revolutionary family, and corruption will not do it.” He added: “You yell at me, what a corrupt official looks like.” The words are vowed. However, the tens of millions of yuan corruption case was finally found out. He immediately changed another face and cried and said: “I failed the party’s expectations and failed the upbringing of the people.”
  Zhang Daqian was once kidnapped by bandits. . The bandits asked him to write a letter to the family asking for a ransom. He had not finished writing the pen, and the bandit who watched it exclaimed: “The word of this baby is beautifully written. Mo Ru first gave him a master.” So, the 14-year-old Zhang Daqian, in the bandit I have been a master for a few months.
  The bandits have such an aesthetic level of calligraphy, which is unexpected. Don’t want a ransom, let’s be a master, and it’s important to introduce talent. Practice has proved that the bandits do have a vision, and the consequences of Zhang Da’s thousands of years have become a generation. Coincidentally, when I read this anecdote, I just saw a TV report, which is also a bad thing. But the result is unexpected: after the ransom is reached, the evil will actually tear off the votes. Then I thought that today’s shackles are not as good as they used to be: the past is awe-inspiring to culture, and today it does not obey the rules of kidnapping. The same is true, all do evil, there is such a high score.
  Yuan Shikai conducted the so-called “election” of the president, and he was afraid that the members would change. As a result, a “citizen group” of more than a thousand people was organized. This “group” is mostly rogue and mantle. It has been very hard to get Yuan’s money. It’s blocked at the entrance of the venue: “If you don’t choose President Yuan, you can’t go home.” Poorly more than a hundred members of the family have been hungry for more than ten hours. Had to vote for something.
  The anecdote of the thief Yuan Shikai occurred in the fall of 1913. The name of his “big president” was unscrupulous. However, this shamelessness is inexhaustible. Reading essays, writing a scene in a certain place, how similar: the superior department went to a grassroots unit to inspect the leadership, in order to ensure the high vote rate of the leadership, so urgent action, first open the backbone, then open the middle-level meeting, tightly arranged, meticulous arrangement. And claimed that the ticket should be implemented to everyone’s head, and where is the problem and which place is responsible. The result is of course surprisingly good, with a 100% vote.