Marriage gap

In marriage, often two people are right.

When we were young, we watched TV and divided all the roles into two categories, “good guys” and “bad guys.” Finally, the bad guys got retribution, and the world would be happy. Later, we grew up, but we still repeat this model. The easiest way to do anything is to find the other person’s mistakes, and if you are reasonable, you can justify your grievances.

But after getting married, the problem is coming. In marriage, given the different positions, experiences, perceptions, and opinions of two people, it often causes fierce disputes between two people. No one is wrong. Everyone is fiercely adhering to his own correct truth.

Scene 1: The mother-in-law gave the child a chocolate before the meal. You think this is too much favor. My husband thinks that it is not easy for the elderly to bring the child. Scenario 2: Year-end award, you want to use it to warm the floor, the whole family is comfortable; the husband wants Add money to a new car, the whole family goes out to play together; Scene 3: New Year, you want to go home with your parents, and my husband wants to go home with his parents…

Whose fault are these? No one is wrong. Letting a person who made a mistake admit mistakes is just a psychological strategy that allows a person who has not made a mistake to admit his mistake. It is the grievance of the snow in June, and this is the daily drama in marriage.

Marriage is a marathon. It is easy to abandon the game at any time during the run. The hard part is that the teeth ran down and did not give up. In marriage, the skill that can save lives is called “empathy,” in the context of conflict between the two sides, controlling their own subjective grievances and substituting themselves into each other’s roles, so that they can understand each other’s anger. where is it?

In marriage, compromise and concession are compulsory courses; after hard-hitting, grievous concessions and mutual understanding, spontaneous compromise, this is the gap in marriage.