With love, friendship will deteriorate? If we make sacrifices for love, we all hope not to sacrifice precious friendships. Help yourself and your friends do mental construction! Let your love not be lost, friendship can be unchanged.
“This – it becomes so lonely!”
There are such plots in many Japanese TV dramas. One person has to move, go abroad, and transfer. His friends will look into the distance and say thoughtfully: “You have to go, suddenly feel so lonely… ”
Many of us’s inertial thinking thinks that “love = two people’s world”, and then derives “love can’t have a third person to participate”, “love must be absolutely exclusive”, and even further misunderstanding becomes “if you and the opposite sex friend If you walk too close, you will have something unclear.” “There is no real friendship between men and women. You are too close, there is a problem.” Even “Your girlfriend is a poisonous grass”, “Your buddy is Wine and meat friends… Then, as a friend, I will feel “I should not bother you” and “You seem to be more with your lover”, so “I will be lonely.”
But such a problem has arisen. If a friend feels lonely, are you going to give up friendship? Or offended lover? Still think about other ways?
From the beginning of understanding, defending love and friendship
Why are friends and lovers “tit-forward”? Lovers have love for you, friends have friendship for you, and friendship and love are feelings. Feelings are all starting from the good, but it does not mean that you will not be distressed. The tit-for-tat of friends and lovers is often only the appearance. The hidden under the conflict is very warm. For example, they all want to know you better, they want to stay with you for a long time, and they want to have you with you. Happy feeling. To make an inappropriate metaphor, your friends and lovers may have treated you as “a resource that can bring a sense of happiness,” so they are trying to get a little more, and at this level. There is a contradiction.
What if the problem has already occurred? To understand your friends
A bad word may be a love for you.
“We are good friends for many years, laughing together for countless weekends, and sweat and tears together. How come suddenly someone who just met a few days seduce him or her? He (she) Is the person looking for it really reliable? Maybe he or she will be deceived!” When a friend leaves a blessing, if you stand in the perspective of a friend, will you not be able to think this way several times? What?
Sometimes, the doubts brought out by a friend’s words, or the instinct of some of your lover’s habits, are out of love for you. It’s like parents always look at their children best. Other children feel that they are bullying their own baby. So, many times your friends are not questioning your relationship, but worrying that you will suffer.
B “distance” is often to give you space
It’s not that you “have no humanity when you have the opposite sex”, but that friends start to alienate you, and this situation may be met by everyone. Friends who used to be the same as a baby every day, began to deliberately not find you, or even hide from you. Don’t think that he (she) is to avoid misunderstanding or “avoiding suspicion”. Many times, good friends are hoping to give you more time and space to fall in love. You know, your friends may want to ask you to eat, chat and drink, but think about when you can do these things, and your love period is “a moment of money.”
Knowing how to alienate your friends is often “intelligible”, and you should not ignore him or her because of his (her) “knowledge.” Even if you don’t stick together every day, you should remember to send some care, and you don’t have to wait until the “Festival”, you can have short and effective “close contact” at any time. It may be just a simple greeting, a joke sharing, a rainstorm warning, a thing you want to buy for him or her to consult, and he (she) will immediately feel “the original, who still thinks about me” A tacit understanding of a friend.
To understand your lover
A can also be a taste
Love is often born on the basis of not understanding, and long-term based on a well-understood foundation. When you and your lover have just loved each other, they feel a lot of each other, but they may know very little. From the perspective of a lover, he (she) doesn’t know you very much, but your friend knows you well. The small details of many things will evoke the lover’s jealousy (those who have a lot of “good sisters” know what I am talking about). And the love is expected to be the only one in the world, the best time in the world, in the face of “others” (whether same-sex or the opposite sex) and you are so close, how can it be?
Don’t think that a lover’s jealousy is an “attack”. In fact, you can also be a condiment or even an appetizer. Like a pepper, you can say that it is too exciting, it can be said that it is the most delicious in the world. Tolerantly treat the lover’s jealousy, often do not rush to quarrel, or even explain, but to love your lover in a more gentle way, and to make a unique flirtation with him or her, he (she) will naturally understand that only You are the real “love”, the rest are the children’s troubles.
B don’t see “checking the post” as “excessive”
You and your friends go to sing, go basketball, go swimming, go bowling, go cycling… every time you go to do this kind of excitement, you can’t hear the phone or the things that both hands are holding, the lover will definitely check the post. ! This one can be written as the universe search theorem. He or she may be unhappy because you didn’t answer the phone in time, and you may feel “very serious” about his (her) reaction. The next step is probably a quarrel or even a “verbal breakup”. .
Don’t turn every job into a war. What you have to do is to develop a game rule that will make Chagang a secret game for both of you. You can make appointments, such as an appointment to check in at 7:00 every night, or about 15 o’clock on Monday, and push back one hour a day. This complicated and interesting way will make both of you feel very fun. You can also agree on forms, such as the secret number of a conversation, such as a special emoji, or even “right song” or “right poetry”, as long as you feel fun. Of course, you should also agree on “can’t answer the call when you answer the phone” or “the card that I might be busy so I have to reserve” and so on. Believe me, after many years you will feel that this kind of agreement is very interesting, and even miss the time to play together.