Can you accept that women earn more than men?

  Recently, Lin Chi-ling was exposed to twins. Netizens are joking, her husband has to hurry to make money, otherwise, how is a salary enough for a family of four flowers? Can’t have children, can you continue to spend your wife’s money?
  Although the words are a bit harsher, the income gap between the two is indeed not as large. According to media statistics, Lin Zhiling’s annual income is about 44 million yuan, sometimes even more than 90 million yuan, there are 3 companies under the name, the total financial amount is 10 times that of her husband. This is a family that is obviously “female strong and weak”.
  In recent years, it has become more and more common for women to earn more money than men. In this regard, how do you see it, can you accept it?
  To this end, Marriage and Family launched a survey on new media platforms such as WeChat: Can you accept that women earn more than men? Of the 2,688 questionnaires collected, 88% said with certainty: Yes!
  Interestingly, more than 93% of the people involved are women, and only about 7% are men. It can be seen that for the issue of “gender income gap”, women are more willing to share and communicate, while men are more likely to worry about it.
  In fact, this is also very easy to understand. After all, in our cultural category, this problem touches at least three sensitive points of men.
  Traditional culture does not encourage men to share feelings. In the traditional view, a man should have a city, and everything is in his stomach, which is considered to be mature and stable. If you easily pull out your heart, you will be treated as a hairless person and you will not be able to do things well.
  Even worse, this investigation involves the problem of men making money. Be aware that income is often used to measure many things, such as the achievement of a man. So far, there are still many people who believe that if a man has a high income, he will succeed in his life. If his income is flat, his life will be inactive. This rude assertion makes men always cautious about talking about income issues.
  The problem of making money also threatens the self-esteem and independence of men. Traditional culture requires men to make money, to support their families, and to have the ability to be the leader, so that the whole family can rely on him, so that they can live with dignity. If the income is lower than that of the wife, it will be regarded as eating soft rice, weak and incompetent. In the face of such gossip, few men can maintain peace of mind like Li An.
  Based on the above prejudice, income has become a sensitive topic for men. Ok, they won’t say it easily, so almost only women are willing to participate in the survey.
  However, I want to go deeper. Although there are various prejudices in society, men are also under heavy pressure. However, with the development of society, women’s positions and incomes are constantly increasing. The income gap between the sexes has been narrowed again and again. Very common. To face this problem with an open attitude will lay a good foundation for the integration of the two sexes. It is the most powerful counterattack against the traditional stereotypes. It is the only way for men to break free from shackles and an effective way for women to understand and support them. It is a good thing for each other.
  Of course, tradition is hard to change easily. We can give each other a little time, let the woman show the attitude of communication first, invite men to join it. Next, let’s listen to the participants’ comments.
  Why can you accept women to earn more?
  Of the people who chose to accept, 26% chose A: money is neutral, not so much about the twists and turns.
  Among the three options, the person who chooses A is the least sensitive to the question of “money and gender.” From the phrase “not so many curved and wraparound thoughts”, it can be seen that they are quite nervous in this respect, and they will not be able to drill at the tip of the horn. They think that how much a person makes money may be related to his opportunities and efforts, but it has nothing to do with gender. If you tell him that “a man should make more money, a woman should spend more money.” He would be wondering: Why do you want to ponder this all day long? What do you think? I want money to work hard to earn.
  From a psychological point of view, such a person is probably not traumatized on the issue of “money and gender.” Their parents have an open attitude towards this and will not use gender roles to limit them. Therefore, they also gave them a more flexible mind and a more comfortable posture.
  43% of people choose B: equality between men and women. The variables in the modern workplace are so large. Why should men be required to have high income?
  Such people have traditional ideas on the issue of “money and gender.” From their remarks, “Why should you stipulate that men have high incomes?” It can be seen that they are very clear about what the traditional gender roles are.
  However, they are progressing with the times. Whether it is men or women, they can see that they have long been tired of the distribution of old-fashioned roles for men and women: Why do men have to make more money? Why do women have to give more? Why do mothers have to balance the relationship between career and family? They are skeptics of such traditional rules.
  Such people pursue equality in gender relations and hate others to use dogma to limit them. Therefore, giving them full respect is the most sensible strategy when dealing with them.
  31% of people choose C: the woman’s income is high, and the degree of freedom is also great!
  The most intuitive experience of this degree of freedom is that eating and drinking can dominate more and life is more free. The deeper problem is the right to speak in the relationship. In their minds, the right to speak and income are linked. People with high incomes can speak out, and those with low incomes are only obedient. Therefore, the prerequisite for a person to obtain dignity is to master the money.
  They value the financial freedom. For them, money is not the ultimate goal, but it is an effective weapon that can be used for attack and self-defense. When there is no money, they will panic. When they have money, they can calm down and experience their own control of life.
  Why can’t you accept?
  Of the unacceptable people, 27% chose A: I am a very traditional person, and the marriage is more stable than traditional ones.
  19% of people choose C: follow the trend, and feel that there are more families with higher incomes.
  People who can’t accept women’s incomes are higher than men, and their opinions are relatively concentrated: a total of 46% choose A and C. The reasons for the same are the pursuit of security and stability. The only difference is that the person who chooses A is “what the predecessor does, what I do”; the person who chooses C is “what the peers do, what I do”. But they all think that staying in a group of people is consistent with their opinions, which is comfortable and safe.
  Of course, such a choice makes sense. After all, people are first and foremost a social animal. Being able to advance and retreat with the ethnic group means that the individual will gain more protection and recognition. Therefore, many people like to be in the same voice, afraid to be ingenuity, is based on this natural biological.
  However, these people should not forget that intimacy is very individualized, and each pair of partners is different. Other people’s experience can’t be easily put on themselves. Moreover, the concept of intimacy has also undergone great changes. It may not be wise to copy a predecessor or aim at a peer. It is best to talk about your own feelings, press your own path, and choose the right way for yourself and your partner. Such a relationship will be truly practical and safe.
  54% of people choose B: Women take on more in marriage, what is the income of men?
  This kind of person sees the status quo of modern marriage: women bear a lot in marriage, but they do not get the support and protection they deserve. Therefore, they want to pursue equality, let men pay more, and let women get the rights they deserve. However, this pursuit is still very vague, because they link “women’s pay and men’s income”, think that women bear more, so men should make more money, but the two actually have nothing to do with.
  In marriage, women are pregnant, raising babies, and doing housework. These efforts are not supported and recognized. The essence is the problem of concepts and husband-and-wife mode, and has nothing to do with men’s income.
  In fact, it is not necessarily a good thing for men to earn more than women. In many families, it is precisely the fuse that causes women to take on more and be more helpless. The local tyrant’s husband “buy” his wife’s entire family, spends a month to spend it, and then pushes all family obligations to her. This is not an isolated case. In contrast, men have low incomes, but they are gentle and considerate, and there are many examples of willingness to share family obligations with women. Therefore, the two are not related.
  If you choose B, if you want to find support for a woman’s pay, you should ask the man for the corresponding payment, instead of just staring at his money bag. Be aware that this may give him the opportunity to “use your money to smother you.”
  Of course, the above analysis does not cover everyone’s attitude. However, the significance of this kind of survey game is not to participate in the whole people, but to give participants the opportunity to examine and express themselves, to communicate with the other half, to enhance understanding in sharing, so as to better adjust the relationship and face the future together. So, if you are interested in the survey, you may wish to take your partner and join in a small survey of Marriage and Family.