Once, Dabao suddenly asked us: “Why do we go to Mommy’s friend’s house every time, and we don’t go to Dad’s friend’s house?” It was just like a head-on drink, I was suddenly shocked, it really is, why are we all friends with my wife To interact with my friends rarely?
I’m not too bad in interpersonal relationships and the number of friends is not too small, but I really have less interaction with my friend’s family. Of course, I can comfort myself by saying that, because many of the university students with good relations have taken root abroad, naturally I have no chance to disturb them. But things are not that simple. The friendship between men and women is really very different.
Between men, there seems to be nothing to talk about except work, sports and money. Unmarried men may also talk about how to talk to their sisters. As for the men who have already been associated with them, the chance of meeting them is very rare. How can they spend time talking about their wife?
By contrast, there is almost nothing to talk between women. From work to life, from individual to family, from what make-up you use to what your child should eat, you can talk about it. Not to mention the mutual warming between women, counting each other’s boyfriends and husbands, and then giving each other countermeasures. In other words, women don’t mind admitting their weaknesses and weaknesses in front of friends, but instead want others to see their weaknesses and let others give themselves some warmth.
Perhaps men are restricted by social and cultural norms, and must show a strong side, especially when dealing with family matters, they must deal with it themselves, otherwise they cannot become the so-called head of the family. However, many marriages, big and small, are really not something one can handle.
Men are not used to talking about these sensitive issues. Even if you have the courage to show up with your friends, the other party will be panicked and wonder if you are taking the wrong medicine. It’s not easy for a man to reveal his heart with a female friend. If it is not handled well, it will also make the other person doubt whether you want to derail. Therefore, many times, men have to figure out their own solutions, or simply leave them alone and let fate decide.
Looking at myself, it’s really easy to turn small things into small things, and I really like to put aside things that my wife didn’t hang on to. When faced with housework, it is also easy to overdo Buddhism, as if time passes, things will improve. Thinking carefully about my growth process, only in the presence of such a friend or two can I be able to show the more vulnerable side. However, the only few occasions to reveal my mind are also relatively young. As I get older, I will no longer seek assistance.
This phenomenon is basically a portrayal of Chinese men. With the exception of investment groups, women’s participation in almost all activities is far more enthusiastic than men. When I go to lectures myself, I often remind the women who attend the meeting. Please be more concerned about the men in your family, because they need to be concerned, but they ca n’t talk. If you don’t help him when he is young, then when you are old, you will either accept a man who is difficult to handle or divorce. Such a phenomenon is already common in Japan. Many men get huffed when they get old, and women who have huffed generally have a chance to find a second spring, while men tend to fall flat.
Helping your husband is one thing, but should you be your “girlfriend”? For many people, this is not a question, but a process. Honestly, my wife shouldn’t be her husband’s “girlfriend”. After all, there are too many restrictions between two people and they can’t really interact like girlfriends. For example, the couple can’t talk to each other, and use wine to drink crazy and scold each other as worthless, but after waking up, nothing seems to have happened.
Although men can also be weak, they do not necessarily need to rely on “girlfriends” to deal with their weakness. What men lack is the awakening of their weakness. Don’t feel that you are great. You should do everything well and you can do well. If you look at the men around you, those who are willing to let go are often the happiest, and their achievements are not necessarily bad. The point is that they let themselves go, and they don’t torture themselves to lose face.
Men, bravely face their weakness; women, give men some room for weakness.