In real life, there are many selfless and dedicated parents who give all their hard work and money to their children, but when the children grow up, they are selfish and don’t know how to be grateful. This situation has a great relationship with the parenting style. So, in the process of raising children, what should parents do to cultivate a grateful child?
Parents should accompany their children more and attach importance to “mental support”
I have a colleague whose son has just turned 3 months, and she went to work in other places. She rarely comes back two or three times a year. The son was brought up by her grandmother.
When the son entered puberty, and grandma felt powerless with the child’s education, she resigned and went home and began to take over the son’s education. Unexpectedly, her son is very alienated from her, and she has little influence on his son. Moreover, if she has a conflict with her son’s grandmother, the child will always stand by her side.
The colleague was very disappointed. He thought that he was working hard outside to create better conditions for his son. The son would understand her hard work, but the son did not appreciate the mother’s contribution.
Therefore, material support is important, and psychological support cannot be ignored. If it is really forced by life, parents have to leave their children to make a living. Then, try to use modern communication tools to communicate with your children, and care about your children’s emotional life and psychological changes.
Parents should give their children love and respect unconditionally
When I was young, I was sick, and my father took me to see a doctor. When I walked to the entrance of a cave, a train whistling suddenly passed by above the cave. I was frightened. My father took me into his arms and patted me on the back while saying, “Don’t be afraid, Dad is here.”
Now, my parents are old and worried about illness and death, so I will stay with them as much as possible and tell them: “Don’t be afraid, no matter what happens, I will stay by your side.” Because I used to be by their side. Love unconditionally.
There are thousands of parents in their lives who love their children selflessly, and their dedication to children is huge. However, many parents disagree with respect for their children. Some parents, when their children get good grades, they are happy, and when their children’s grades are not satisfactory, they will attack or even humiliate them. In the long run, children will feel that what their parents love is not themselves, but their own achievements.
In fact, a child’s personality begins to form when he is infancy. Even if a child is only one or two years old, he is an individual with an independent personality and needs to be respected by adults.
In daily life, cultivate children’s sense of family responsibility
I am a 70s born in the countryside. Since I was 10 years old, I have to go to the fields with adults to work every year when the farming season is busy. When I was exhausted, I naturally understood the hardships of my parents. Therefore, when I do not need to work in the fields, I will try my best to do housework, cooking, washing clothes, etc.
Every time I go to study in the county town, one hour before I leave home, I will definitely pick up a few loads of water to go home and fill the water tank. In this way, father can take a little more rest after returning home from busy farm work.
Life reminds me in such a way that my growth is achieved through thrift and hard work by my parents. One day, when they are old, when they are sick, it is my duty to take care of them.
Of course, the current standard of living has greatly improved, but this does not mean that children can ignore the contributions of their parents. We still need to cultivate children’s sense of family responsibility and social responsibility in a suitable way.
For example, let the child do housework from elementary school. Starting from around 3 years old, children can dress, wear shoes, and pack their own toys. A little older, you can wash your clothes and do some housework within your power. Within the scope of a child’s ability, the more he undertakes, the faster he grows. Children who have been responsible since childhood will be able to do their best to feed back their parents when they grow up.
Parents should honor their elders and let their children grow gratitude in their ears and eyes
Some parents and elderly people will refuse their children’s contribution because they love their children too much. For example, when their children give them delicious food, they will pretend that they do not like to eat and refuse to share.
The elders think this is love, but it is actually hurt. When you accept your child’s sharing and giving, when you say “thank you” to him, the child is happy in his heart, feels that he is needed by his family, and feels that he is a valuable person.
When the child’s sharing and giving are rejected again and again, he will feel that his family does not need him. After growing up, he naturally didn’t know how to take care of his parents.
To be a parent is a human instinct; to be a qualified parent is a learning.
Only by accomplishing the above 4 points, we will not devote a lifetime to raise a child who will make you homeless.