Youth regrets

It seemed that he didn’t make any preparations, so he went to middle school in a daze.

In the summer vacation after graduating from elementary school, it was like Ma Fang Nanshan. He stopped studying and just played. Every day I took my younger brother and children of his age, and played from dawn until dark: the Eighth Route Army fought on TV, kicked the ball into the crops, dug under the cliff to “build fortifications”, and was bombed away by adults. , I’m afraid that the soil will collapse and overwhelm us… It seems that I borrowed the Chinese textbook for the first year of junior high from a relative, turned it over, and threw it away.

At that time, I didn’t even make up the lesson in advance, and I didn’t know the benefits of previewing. The parents did not urge. In their eyes, I have always studied well and I don’t need to worry too much about my family. Although naughty at home, I still listen to the teacher at school. And I think that middle school is like elementary school. When the exam is about to go, I just need to recite and make surprise surprises.

School starts in September, dumbfounded! Distributing so many textbooks at once, each of which is much thicker than elementary school textbooks, plus all kinds of tutoring materials, make the already large schoolbag bulging, how to learn?

This is my first contact with English. I didn’t even know the basics of ABC before, let alone know where to start. In order to memorize words, use Chinese characters on the side phonetic notation. The English teacher is a man, one of the toughest teachers I have ever met. He is most disgusted by students doing this, as if all those who do it have antagonisms against him. One day, he came in from the back door of the classroom, walked up to me, and found that I was concentrating on annotating Chinese characters in the book. He yelled and asked me to stretch out my hand, “Papa Papa”, hit the palm of my hand with a teaching stick three times, and it hurt my tears to fall.

My father is a carpenter. That teaching stick was made by my dad specially for him through me. I didn’t expect that the first person to hit with the teaching stick was me.

I am also afraid of mathematics, the difficulty of mathematics, and the strictness of the math teacher. The math teacher is the head teacher. He and my dad have known each other a long time ago, and he will tell my dad every move I want to hide, but he can’t hide it. The main report is my study, especially mathematics. In terms of observing discipline, the family is at ease. In school, I don’t like talking most of the time. If you say naughty, it is also the kind of ling Tao, and there will be no obvious adverse consequences. It’s just that the math is worse. I don’t seem to have the cells to learn mathematics, or I haven’t found the right way to learn math from the beginning. As soon as the math teacher met my father, my father grumbled to me.

The first mid-term exam was almost completely defeated. It made me realize that middle school is indeed different from elementary school. Even in the first year of junior high school, it is also a middle school.

In that exam, there was a classmate who usually did not study very well, but he got surprisingly high grades in many subjects. The teacher praised his progress at first, but later felt that something was wrong. The investigation found that after the teacher printed the test questions, he threw the wax paper with ink to the back of the office. Before the exam, he specially picked up the wax paper in the name of helping the teacher organize things. Before the exam, he asked good students to help. do it. Later, after taking tests and exams, the teacher learned a lesson. After printing the test questions, he burned the wax paper directly, and his grades never went up. Later, he dropped out of school.

There are still many classmates like him who are older than us. Their parents are very old, there are many brothers and sisters, and the economic conditions of the family are generally not good. They did not intend to let them go to the end. Mixed day is day. Some of them just didn’t get acquainted in study, and performed well in labor and compliance. Some followed the bad classmates, and gradually became bad, bullying the weak classmates, fighting and fighting. The teacher criticized them for running along with the horse. This meant that they didn’t look at their own situation and followed others. They took you into the ditch, but they didn’t know.

Looking at it now, the economic conditions of those people they follow are not very good, and some are even very average. This has been the case since ancient times. But these people were really crazy at the time. There is a boy in the next class who always bullies me, like chewing gum for a few days, where do I go, where do I stick, and sometimes I use my hands, just want me to convince him, let me beg him, let me listen later his. I look down on him in my heart, how can I show weakness in front of him, and how can I say to him that goes against my conscience?

One day, outside the school, he stopped me again and pushed me. It happened to be seen by a brother in my far room. My brother is taller than many teachers. He may be the tallest person in the school and he is also bigger. Since my grandfather’s generation, our two families have not lived together. We just know each other’s names. He is older and more familiar than I am.

I am at a loss as to how to deal with this matter, how to face the harassment of that rogue. The arrival of my brother is like a heavenly soldier descending to the earth. He saw that boy kept pushing me and running up, kicking the boy to the ground with one kick. My brother warned the boy: “I will bully my brother in the future, I can’t forgive you!”

Since then, that classmate has never looked for me again. Walking face to face, the two of us are like strangers.

When I was bullied by others later, I would think of my brother. If he is there, he will definitely do what is right and protect my little brother. It’s a pity that we don’t go to the same school after the first grade.

Later, I didn’t contact him again, and he might have dropped out of school before going to high school and went to work.

Teacher Chen and Old Teacher Chen
The Chinese teacher’s surname is Chen, and he and his English teacher Zhu are in the same room. That room is not only their office, but also their dormitory. One morning, I went to the office to find him, and when I was nervous, I called him Teacher Zhu. He was stunned for a moment, and I realized that I was called the wrong one, and I hurriedly said that Teacher Chen is good.

He may have just graduated from the normal school and his writing is very beautiful. The first time I wrote on the blackboard, everyone did not speak, it was quiet after being calmed by his good words. I haven’t seen such a good blackboard before, and it is probably rare for other students.

In addition to textbooks, he likes to take a “Middle School Chinese Lesson Preparation Manual” in class. It was just released by the publishing house. It is similar to the teaching reference book and has more content than the teaching reference book. Every time he followed the steps in the book, the first is the “Lesson Introduction” to introduce the text and the author’s background. We have only heard of medicine introduction before, and it is the first time we have heard of “Lecture Introduction”. Second, “discuss key and difficult points.” Third, “enlighten thinking and delve into problems.” Although everyone did not give him the nicknames of “Lesson Introduction”, “Key and Difficult Discussion”, “Enlightening Thinking, Deepening Questions”, the stylization of his teaching was also spread among the classmates of the two classes, and he was brave enough to teach him privately. The look of time. Once, he wrote the words “inspiring thinking and delving into problems” on the blackboard again, and some of his classmates laughed without holding back. He turned around and looked at the few people who bowed their heads and laughed strangely. Looking at us, he didn’t know why everyone was laughing. I like to listen to his lectures, and I admire his lectures, and I feel grievances for him. Those who only follow the teaching reference books without introducing new concepts, are they not stylized?

After eating in the school cafeteria, he likes to walk quietly in the classroom. Sometimes sitting on the same stool with the students to chat, sometimes standing behind the students watching them do their homework, and the students will also ask him if they have difficult problems in their studies. He knew that I wrote a diary, read my diary, and encouraged me to keep writing. At that time, there were no secrets in my diary. It was purely written writing. Maybe I took the initiative to show it to him and wanted him to give him advice.

I was praised by him from the beginning of my composition. Later, it became his focus. If you set up your composition on Sunday and check it on Monday, I will usually be the first to check. Once, I was playful and didn’t write seriously, so I temporarily copied a few paragraphs from the composition and put it together. Early the next morning, I checked my composition as usual, and the first one to take away was my composition. I watched on the spot, after a while, I threw it from the podium to me who was sitting in the first row, and said angrily: “What are you writing?” My face flushed to the base of my ears. It might be him. The harshest criticism of me. I deeply understand what it feels like to be disappointed.

He got married in the winter that taught us. I gave us a class for the first time after we got married, wearing new clothes, neatly trimmed hair, and neatly shaved beard, just like an official groom. Several girls in the class who were older and mature earlier than us, saw him in this dress and secretly smiled with their mouths covered. He seemed very shy in that class, as if he had done something wrong.

In the second grade of junior high school, Teacher Chen’s father taught me Chinese. It was also at that time that I knew they were father and son. Unlike him, his father was the kind of teacher who ruled by doing nothing. Come to class, leave after class, and go back to the office with the back of the hand and go back to the office if there are no students asking questions.

For a while, in order to attract the attention of girls in the class, I deliberately acted very active in class. After the teacher asks a question or speaks, I often say some nonsense and nonsense, just to make everyone laugh. Old Teacher Chen was very uncomfortable with what I did and stared at me fiercely, just like my elders stared at me for doing something wrong.

After I was in the third year of junior high school, I ran into teacher Lao Chen outside the school. I ride a bicycle, he also rides a bicycle. I came down to greet him, and he got out of the car, solemnly, asking about my current situation and study. At that time, I was very moved, because in the eyes of most adults, I was still a child. I greeted them. They didn’t get off the bike. At most, they lowered their speed and rode over with a sound of “Hey”.

After that, I never saw them again or inquired about them.

Boys and girls
Half of the students in the first two classes of junior high school were older than me, and many of them were repeaters. They think they are familiar with the school and the teachers. They often talk about the different characteristics of each teacher in front of us freshmen, tell the school’s past history, and show the superiority of the old students over the new students.

There is a boy in the next class, which belongs to this kind of person.

We know him, he took the initiative to greet me. He knows something about me and my family. He has a good relationship with me, smiling all day long, and often joking with me, he is the kind of big brother who treats me as a little brother. However, on the issue of boys and girls, I don’t know if I really don’t want to tell me, or want me to have greater curiosity, always want to avoid me, and often talk mysteriously with boys his age. Finally, he said to me: “I can’t let you little guys know that I can’t lead you to damage.”

He likes a girl in our class. This girl in our class has short hair and is smiling all day long. She is a lively and cheerful girl. She is familiar with herself and seems to be able to talk to anyone.

Soon after school started, the two of them met each other. The two of them are not in the same class or in the same village. They go to school and after school, one goes to the east and the other goes to the west. They do not cross the border at all, but they still come together. I guess it’s the reason for the similar personality. At that time, boys and girls basically didn’t talk. They seemed to ignore these clear rules and precepts. They often joked. Most of them were boys teasing girls. Most of the time, they were in front of us. Girls were sometimes shy and blushing. Everyone knows that the two of them are good.

In winter, someone in the class revealed that the secret code for the two of them was that when they were going to school in the morning, the boy knocked three times outside the window next to the girl’s seat, and the girl went out. Someone who was in trouble also knocked on the window to lead the girl outside, without the guts to talk to the girl, and sneaked away in the dark. Later, the way they connected was changed. Whether the joint code has been deciphered again is unknown.

I also wanted to talk to that girl in my heart, but I didn’t have the courage to say hello to her, let alone speak. Maybe, she saw through my heart. Maybe she wants to talk to me too. She has a friend sitting near me. For a period of time, she often finds her friend when she has nothing to do. When chatting with her, she looks at me from time to time. How dare I look at girls directly! After taking a peek, his face flushed suddenly, and he quickly immersed himself in reading.

On Children’s Day on June 1st, our class will perform a program, and I will be with her during training. I dare not talk to her either. One day at noon, she wanted to borrow my electronic watch to wear. She obviously has a watch, why should she borrow it? She probably wanted to take this opportunity to talk to me, right? She knew that the look in her eyes was wrong, and I didn’t understand anything at that time, I just thought she was good-looking.

I don’t seem to lend it to her. I can’t understand her and that boy, and other boys often talk together. If a girl who never talked to other boys asked me to borrow, would I give it to others? A girl who never talks to other boys, why should she ask me to borrow? Maybe I don’t even have the idea to borrow.

We all thought that she would eventually get together with the boy in the next class, and even keep getting better. Not later, maybe, for her, she has a more cheerful personality, a little bit earlier than us, and she likes to talk to boys, nothing more.

We thought we knew everything, but we didn’t know anything.

Physiological Hygiene Book
During the winter vacation in the fifth grade of elementary school, I went to town with an uncle. After finishing the work and still have time, go to the book stand. When I saw a book of “Knowledge of Sex”, I thought it was about character knowledge, so I turned it over. After not turning over a few pages, I found that there were pictures of male and female genital organs in it, and my face blushed like a hot potato. The book is closed. Uncle smiled when he saw my embarrassment beside him.

This is my first contact with the book about physical hygiene.

On the first day of junior high, a few older boys didn’t know where to get a book on this subject. They were afraid of reading it in the classroom and attracting attention, so they took it to the riverside to take a peek. I also followed. They didn’t show it to me at first, but couldn’t withstand my begging, took them in their hands, and hurriedly showed them to me. I saw the word “masturbation”. I didn’t recognize the word “kinky”, so I pronounced it as “shaking” and they laughed.

There is a family planning book in the drawer of our house, which may have been issued to mother by the Maternal and Child Health Center. When there is no one at home, I often secretly take out this book and read it. That picture and the picture I first read in the book “Knowledge of Sex” seem to be drawn by one person. I was afraid of being discovered by my mother every time, so I hurriedly looked at it and put it back in place. I have read that book more times than my mother.

Once I went to my aunt’s house and flipped through books. I turned to a book with no cover and back cover, as if it was written for a barefoot doctor, and it contained physiological hygiene. I put my hand in the book on the other content, but I actually read the content of physiological hygiene. Hearing footsteps, pretend to read something else. Seeing my face is hot.

The Farmer’s Digest, which my father subscribed to, has an issue that specifically talks about the secondary sexual characteristics of adolescence, such as men with beards and Adam’s apples, and girls have begun to have female characteristics. I was almost entering puberty at that time, and looking at my own body, it was really what the book said. I am interested in my body, and I am also interested in girls.

These are all scientific books, but reading them at that time was like a thief.

I have to learn botany in the first year of junior high. The students who repeat the grade have studied it. After the new book was published, he pointed out the part of pollen fertilization and said that we should pay attention to what the plant teacher said. This content is in the second half of the book, and it took a long time for the teacher to talk about it. The teacher speaks openly, no different from other content, but it seems that we are dirty.

At that time, legal publications were popular. After adults read them, I also read them, such as “Case and Law” and “Judicial”. There are many cases of male and female emotions, and there are descriptions of female sexual characteristics. I don’t pay attention to how the story develops. I look for these places to watch.

There is a physiological hygiene class in the third grade, and I found the textbook of that year a few days ago. Looking at the content, they are all unfamiliar, as if they have never learned it. No wonder for a while, I couldn’t distinguish the position of my heart and stomach. For students studying this course, more and more important content is to understand the structure of the human body, how to live healthier, such as where the various parts of the human body are, what are their functions, how to protect them, and so on. However, what left us a deep impression is that this book only has a chapter on adolescence. In that chapter, whether the teacher personally taught it or let us learn it, I no longer remember. Just remember that as soon as the book was published, many people looked at the adolescent part first, and saw that part was the most upright and blameless at the time.