This is Fu Shun’s 26th year as a blind man.
Fu Shun was his father’s third son, with an older brother and an older sister.
In Fu Shun’s first year as a blind man, no one found out that he was blind. Like other children, he babbled and waved his hand, babbled milk, babbled wet his diaper.
Until she was over one year old, Fu Shun’s mother found that Fu Shun had no response to the pendants hanging on his crib, and that everything seemed to be identified by sound and touch. Fu Shun’s mother took Fu Shun with him. hospital.
The doctor said that Fu Shun was probably invisible from birth.
Fu Shun’s mother asked the doctor: “Can’t see anything? Then how does he know it’s me if I hold him?”
The doctor replied: “Infants are very sensitive to sounds and smells. He is familiar with your voice and the smell from your body. He should know you.”
Fu Shun’s mother asked the doctor with the last glimmer of hope: “Can it still be cured?”
The doctor sighed, “There is hope, but our county is too small, and the medical equipment and doctors are not as good as the big cities. We can’t treat it. Take your children to the big cities.”
Fu Shun’s mother broke her heart from crying, and her good son was blind when she said she was blind.
Looking at the son she was holding in her arms, she stretched her small arms to herself with her big eyes open, and then smelled her own milk and diapers from head to toe, Fu Shun’s mother suddenly felt desperate.
Fu Shun’s mother who came home was in a daze, holding Fu Shun and telling Fu Shun’s father that he was blind, but if there is hope, he can take it to the city to see it, maybe it will be better.
Fu Shun’s father gritted his teeth, holding the last two thousand dollars left in the family, and begging Lao Zhang, who runs the canteen next door, to take him to the hospital in the city.
Fu Shun’s father has been a small farmer all his life. He hadn’t studied for two years since he was a child. He didn’t know two characters or even a few pinyin. Wandering around the door of the hospital for a long time, I looked around again, not knowing where to go.
It wasn’t until the security’s attention was drawn. After Fu Shun’s father and the security explained it for a long time, the security understood that Fu Shun’s father wanted to see the ophthalmology department and took him to the hospital desk.
Father Fu Shun followed the little nurse at the door, registered and lined up. The doctor was tall, short, fat and thin, and he had already spent a hundred yuan to go out.
Father Fu Shun felt the two thousand in his pocket wrapped in Fu Shunniang’s handkerchief, ah no, one thousand nine hundred dollars, sitting on the bench did not dare to move, he could only sit with Fu Shun in his arms. Fu Shun in his arms was as good as a doll, his eyes half-open and half-closed, there was no light inside.
At this time, the fragrance of gardenia outside the hospital window is compelling.
“Fu Chenggui, Fu Chenggui, is Fu Chenggui there?” The nurse poked her head out of the doctor’s office and shouted.
“Eh! Eh! Here!” Fu Shun’s father hurriedly got up from the chair like a nervous loudspeaker, walked a few steps towards the nurse, and stopped again.
“Hurry up, the name has been on the screen for a long time, why is there no response at all?” The nurse’s tone was slightly blamed.
“No… I’m sorry, I don’t know how to read, I didn’t recognize it.” Father Fu Shun raised his head and took a look. Next to the seat where he was just sitting was a black lacquered board with three red characters on it, Father Fu Shun Barely recognized the word “cheng”, guessing that it should be his own name.
“Come in quickly, the doctor is waiting, there are other patients behind.” The nurse led Fu Shun’s father into the doctor’s office.
Fu Shun’s father walked in tremblingly, and then cautiously sat down beside the doctor tremblingly. One hand tightly hugged Fu Shun, and the other hand tightly held the handkerchief in his pocket.
Holding Fu Shun’s face, the doctor opened Fu Shun’s eyelids with one hand, revealing Fu Shun’s big, dim eyes. He took the flashlight again, and took photos on the left and right, and said: “It should be a congenital cataract, which can be cured. Let’s go and check it first. After the check, take the test sheet back.” After saying that the flashlight was received in the pen holder at hand and turned towards He shook his head at the outer door, “Next.”
Father Fu Shun hesitated to look at the doctor, his mouth kept open, and he wouldn’t leave.
“Is there anything else?” the doctor asked Fu Shun’s father.
“How much money is this baby to see a doctor?”
“If the diagnosis is congenital cataract, a lens needs to be implanted. This child has passed the optimal period of treatment, and the eye treatment requires general anesthesia, one eye is 10,000 yuan, and both eyes of the child cannot be seen, plus pre- and post-operative treatment And nursing, let’s go up and down 30,000.” The doctor said calmly, as if 30,000 yuan was three yuan in Father Fu Shun’s pocket.
Fu Shun’s father hesitated and hesitated with one foot that was just about to step out. He lowered his head and raised it again, looking at the left and right, looking at Fu Shun, but he did not dare to see the doctor, “This… …For such old money, then…is it possible to die?”
“Dead? If the child is not cured, he will be invisible in this life.” The doctor waved his hand, “Go for a checkup.”
When Fu Shun’s father came out of the doctor’s office, his mind was full of “30,000 yuan, 30,000 yuan, invisible, invisible.”
Avoiding the nurses and doctors, Father Fu Shun took Fu Shun and the 1,900 money in his pocket and walked out of the hospital again.
The security guard at the door watched Fu Shun come out and greeted him eagerly. When he wanted to speak, Fu Shun’s father turned his head and hugged Fu Shun and ran away.
When he ran past, Fu Shun’s father was full of dry smoke mixed with despair and pain, and was surging in the heat wave of July.
Father Fu Shun ran out of breath, and didn’t know where he went, but Fu Shun in his arms didn’t cry.
Fu Shun’s father turned his head and saw a cluster of tall Qilixiang, blooming lushly.
Father Fu Shun turned and sat beside the flower pile, and put Fu Shun’s hand on his lap. There was a scent of smell around him, and the fifteen-year-old daughter in the family clamored every day to read and the second son refused to read. The mother and the daughter-in-law are struggling every day except for bickering. My father is seventy-three and has been paralyzed for three years, and the old mother can’t wait anymore. Every day, I have to do it myself and the daughter-in-law.
At home, there is no more than 30,000 yuan, and I can’t afford to serve a blind man.
Father Fu Shun sat there for three hours, but the cigarette butt fell on the ground, and the smell of smoke almost covered the fragrance of flowers.
Father Fu Shun didn’t take Lao Zhang’s car back to the village. He walked the mountain road all night before he got home.
But beside the bush of flowers, there was a child lying there, crying or making trouble, occasionally stretched out his hand to sway, the fallen Qilixiang fell on the swaddle and his neck.
When Fu Shun’s father went home alone, her mother went crazy, pulling Fu Shun’s father and going to jump into the river, saying something like “child, blind, ticket” insanely. Gradually, it became less crazy, the same as before.
At home and before Fu Shun, there is no difference.
The things that Fu Shun can remember started at the age of six.
Fu Shun remembered being locked up in a dark room, occasionally being sent out to be beaten up and thrown on the flyover to beg.
Among their children, Fu Shun got the least money. They are a bunch of kids-or they can’t be called kids, they are called “puppies” by those who keep them. Among their gang of puppies, the non-disabled ones rub their dirty bodies and faces on passers-by, while the disabled ones can win sympathy by virtue of their “natural advantage”.
Only Fu Shun was blind, or blindly blind.
He had a pretty face, and it was black and gray, and he couldn’t tell what he looked like.
So Fu Shun didn’t get much money, so he was always beaten.
But Fu Shun still likes to go out and ask for money. He was sitting on the sky bridge. There was a magnolia tree next to the sky bridge. Fu Shun liked the dim fragrance. When Fu Shun was locked in the dark room, the scent of magnolia would float in from the window, overwhelming the smell of corruption in the room, and rushed into every breath of Fu Shun.
Fu Shun couldn’t see it, but he always felt that the taste was “white”, it was hope, the tenderness in the pain that was rolling in a desperate life, and it was love.
In fact, Fu Shun didn’t know what love is, what is tenderness, and what is hope.
It’s just that the fragrance of magnolia, all the good things he knew at that time.
Fu Shun was twelve years old that year, and eleven years have passed since he was locked up in a dark room.
In fact, there is not much difference between being locked up or not being locked up for Fu Shun. He can’t see the color, nor can he distinguish between day and night. He can only feel the moisture of the air in one breath and one inhalation. When the air rolls in the nasal cavity, it is humid and gentle, it is early morning or evening; when the air is dry and pungent Time is noon.
That year, many people rushed into the house and opened the door wide. The smell of snow and dirt outside the house rushed in along with him, and circled Fu Shun.
It was a den of human traffickers, and the police were eventually wiped out, and the children were rescued.
Some children were abducted and sold, but they don’t remember where they came from or what their names were; some children were picked up, and most of them had physical defects and were probably abandoned. Many children have nowhere to go.
They were scattered in various orphanages in the city. Because of their age and physical problems, no one came to adopt them. Apart from not being beaten, their lives were the same.
Only Fu Shun, full of excitement, wandered over and over again on the roads he never saw, bowed and raised his head, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled.
He couldn’t see it. His ears were always full of humiliation and cursing sounds, so his sense of smell was extremely sensitive, sensitive enough to distinguish the fragrance of flowers, and sensitive enough to recognize people by smelling it.
The orphanage is full of plants for greening. Magnolia, Gardenia, Burmese Gardenia, Peanut Flower, Osmanthus, Plum…
This invisible world has turned into countless plants and smells, drawing the shape, color and beauty of this world to Fu Shun.
People say that Fu Shun is the most docile child in this orphanage.
The children who were rescued with Fu Shun back then had some mental illnesses. Some of them have gotten into the habit of petty theft, some have no hope of life, and some have gradually become scum with anti-social personality.
If they have lived in such an environment, if they cannot get overwhelming love after the trauma, a little bit of harm will become the fuse; similarly, a little bit of love is not enough to make up for the grand fear, and the sense of insecurity lives Every corner of their body makes them self-defeating in loss and extreme.
Post-traumatic stress disorder makes them irritable and sensitive. They cannot accept the kindness of others and are more likely to amplify maliciousness.
Only Xiao Fu Shun is almost using the greatest enthusiasm to connect with the world. He didn’t hate anyone, because he never got any love.
But when Fu Shun was sixteen, there was a different voice beside him.
“Eh, little blind man, you can’t see anything, let me take you to play!”
“Little blind man, do you like to eat sweet-scented osmanthus cake? I remember someone made it for me when I was a kid, but I don’t remember who it was.”
“Little blind man, do you know that you are half a head shorter than me.”
“Little blind man, you can’t see but you can hear, can you hear me dunking while playing?”
“Little blind man, little blind man, little blind man…”
After Fu Shun entered the orphanage, no one called him a little blind. Everyone felt that this was his pain, and tried to avoid mentioning it, as if he were a normal person like them.
Fu Shun also tried to pretend to be a normal person.
But this boy, who surrounds him every day, calls him a little blind hundreds of times. He shouldn’t, thinking that he will die. He didn’t expect the other party to be even more energetic. Not only did he think he was blind, but he was also dumb.
“You…you’re so noisy.” Fu Shun’s voice was a little green. He rarely spoke. Most of the time, he wandered under various trees and flowers and rarely communicated with others. So the voice is thin and weak.
“Ah, it turns out that I am not a dumb person who can talk.” The young man turned around Fu Shun with a smile on his face.
“Yes…Yes, it’s just…I just don’t bother to care about you.” Fu Shun replied with a squat.
“Ha, not only is it not dumb, but it is also annoying.” The young man leaped high down the stairs and stood up beside Fu Shun with a “bang”.
“Speak when you need to speak, don’t hold back, you will become really dumb when you turn back.” Fu Shun heard the voice coming from beside him, with a hint of teasing and joy.
“It’s going to… it’s raining, let’s go back.” Fu Shun turned and slowly went up the stairs.
“How did you know it was going to rain and you couldn’t see it again?”
“The air, wet… wet.”
“Huo, it’s so amazing, then go back quickly, don’t get drenched, walk, I will carry you, you are slow to death.” The young man went upstairs in three steps and two steps, carrying Fu Shun on his back.
The young man never said who he was, but occasionally appeared when Fu Shun was strolling on the small road, and then whispered.
He found that Fu Shun was extremely sensitive to taste, using taste to distinguish colors, using taste to predict the weather, and using taste to distinguish visitors.
“Tsk, why can’t I scare you every time, I walked silently.” The young man twisted his neck sadly.
“The smell of washing powder on your body has drifted from far away, next time I remember to pick the windless weather, I will not smell it.” Fu Shun has spoken a lot more sharply, but the voice is still small.
“Cut, dog nose. Little blind man, have you ever thought of learning a handymanship?”
“What can I learn like this? It’s a year to live a year.” Fu Shun lowered his head and picked a camellia, and inserted it in the boy’s temple, “It looks good.”
The boy knocked off his hand, “You can’t see what looks good…I have to learn something. I really want to be a chef.”
“I can’t see, I can smell it. You should look good with flowers.”
“Don’t change the subject, do you have anything you want to do?” The boy threw the camellia in his hand.
“Do you know… the perfumer? Maybe I can do that.” Fu Shun hesitated, “but I don’t know how to do it.”
“You don’t know what you said earlier, and I’ll ask you about it. Someone else can do what the blind can’t do. If others can’t, maybe the blind can do it. Wait, and I’ll bring you a letter in two days. Come back.”
Two days and two days, two days and two days, the boy has not been here for a long time.
Suddenly one day, a smell of clean laundry detergent came from the flowers, “Little blind man, what are you doing!”
“Didn’t you say that you will be back in two days?” Fu Shunding looked at the young man, motionless, his eyes were filled with fog, even if they were invisible eyes, they were full of panic and fear.
“The perfumer you mentioned, we are a small place here, I haven’t found it for a long time.” The boy paused, and went over to hook Fu Shun’s shoulder, “I ran to find the one for you in the next city, and found it. It’s coming right now. I’ll run to see you first.”
“Really?” Fu Shun raised her voice sharply.
“Really, what do you lie to.”
Fu Shun could not smell the flowers anymore, and the smell of washing powder was all around him.
Fu Shun was taken away by an old man. The old man was more than 60 years old. He was clearly the age of Grandpa Fu Shun, but he was wearing a tall robe. The cloth shoes that had just walked out of the rain were also clean. The oiled paper umbrella in his hand was from time to time. Water was dripping down. He seemed incompatible with everything around him, incompatible with the external air conditioner around him, and incompatible with the telephone pole above his head.
Fu Shun was taken away that day, and the old man took him to the next city. He lived in a two-story house with a large hall and Fu Shun’s house.
But there was only one bed in the room except Fu Shun.
The old man began to teach Fu Shun to recognize incense, agarwood, sandalwood, musk, real wax, high incense, white aconite, baizhi…
Fu Shun learned very quickly. After smelling the spices once, he could immediately remember that the old man was very happy and said that Fu Shun was a good seed for learning fragrance.
The first incense made by Fu Shun was Ruihe incense. It took five or six hours to draw out three incense pills and wrap them with incense powder and put them in the bottle. Three or four months later, the fragrance made by Fu Shun was comparable to that of the old man, but Fu Shun alone gave the three fragrant pills to the young man.
“Have you been a chef?” Fu Shun asked him.
“Go, I have learned a few dishes, and I will cook it for you later.” The boy kicked the stone under his feet.
Fu Shun took the bottle out and handed it to the boy, “I guess you went too. It smells like oil all over you. I made it for the first time. Take it back and have fun.”
The boy looked at the bottle and said, “This bottle is really beautiful.”
“You only know that the bottle looks good. I didn’t make the bottle.” Fu Shun turned his head and entered the room.
The boy twisted the bottle, and the fragrance of the pill inside overflowed.
It was like the smell of sweet-scented sweet-scented osmanthus being hit on his face by the rain all night when he knelt on the stone slab in the front hall.
Many years later, Fu Shun’s incense is hard to find, and the old man has passed away for many years.
The old man has no children and is alone all his life, with only Fu Shun as an apprentice.
The two-story house and the osmanthus tree in the front yard belonged to Fu Shun.
“Blind man, what are you eating today?” The young man stepped in and leaned against the tree grinningly.
“I don’t know, go to the cellar to see what’s there. The dishes delivered this morning, I smell all earthy.”
“Hillboy, I will make you a Buddha jump over the wall today.” The young man has faded away from his youth, his head is very tall, and he walked towards the cellar with his legs.
Not long after, the smell came from the kitchen, covering the scent of osmanthus in the front yard.