Escape is shameful but useful

One

  A few years ago, I moved into the advertising industry. On the first day I joined the company, I was shocked by the company’s spectacle-in the huge office, rows of people were crowded in front of the computer, and the air was mixed with cigarettes, sweat and nervousness. What’s even more maddening is that almost everyone doesn’t move their buttocks very much at get off work. They don’t move at 18 o’clock, 19 o’clock, and 20 o’clock.
  I realized that I had come to the wrong place, but I couldn’t leave. For the first 3 months, I got off work at 2 o’clock in the middle of the night every day, and finally one day I could get off work on time. Facing the company’s colleagues who were working overtime, I hesitated and felt that it was a shame to get off work on time.
  This subverted my perception of work. I used to work as a magazine and publish a periodical a month. What you consider at work is not the density of your labor time, but the quality of your work. You have a lot of time to arrange freely, you can make appointments with the authors, you can watch exhibitions, you can read books, you can go to a coffee shop, chat with a bunch of people about Marquez and Yu Hua, and complete your work with high quality in a relaxed state.
  Therefore, when I switched careers and started working overtime every day, I would look into the mirror in the morning and say, “Mada Qingben, how can I be a’thief’.” In the mirror, I would reply: “Liang Yuan is good, not the home of long love.” .”What does that mean? It is that the income from magazines is too small.
  I have a friend called “Dimple”. Dimple invited me to the bar, and I looked around to a wine list. He was doing real estate advertising at the time, and he was exhausted every day, but he was rich. Dimple said: “You can order anything, I will treat me today.”
  This incident was very exciting to me. At the moment when I was facing the wine list, I obviously found that Marquez, Hemingway, and Yu Hua could not help me. I even Can empathize with the poor days they had lived before.
  So I said: “I want to fight.”
two

  After I came out of the first company that moved into the advertising industry, I moved to another advertising company. Salaries increased, but overtime hours doubled. Not long after, the boss talked to me and said, “Leng Feng, you are not young and time is precious. Only by leading a team can you grow up quickly. After you have a child, you can afford it.” My blood surged: “Boss, I I want to make progress.”
  So for more than half a year, I didn’t take vacations and rarely stayed at home. People slept in bed in the middle of the night. When I wake up at dawn, I also think about the plan at the same time. When I enter the company, I turn on the computer to work.
  I always bring several projects at the same time. My colleague made a mistake in his work. I would like to seek a sincere apology from Party A as soon as possible, then remedy it and continue working overtime endlessly.
  My head hurts violently and my ears rumbling because of overuse of my brain and poor sleep. However, I cannot stop working.
  Finally, when the company increased the salary, each department was limited to 3 places. I reported 3 people in my team but did not report myself. I thought to myself, since I became the head of the department, how could the company be promoted without raising the salary? There is no such reason.
  But in the second month, wages remained unchanged. I went to the boss. In his office, the boss spoke to me earnestly for a long time, repeatedly stating the truth: Who is the company to process capital is a very complicated matter, and I can’t tell me clearly.
  I was not convinced by him, but I was speechless. The boss and I both had big eyes to small eyes, and we didn’t say a word. After a long time, the boss grunted and laughed.
  That evening, Cui Cui, who hadn’t seen me for a long time, walked along the road with me. I told her that I couldn’t get a raise. Cui Cui asked me sadly in her voice, “Why do we work so diligently? We are always the ones hurt?”
  I don’t know.
three

  Cui Cui and I had a baby but we had a miscarriage. When I received the news at the company, I hid on the company balcony and cried secretly. Then, without telling anyone, I went back and continued to work overtime. Cui Cui lay at home, feeling that life was gloomy. As for her most uncomfortable days and nights, I was stunned and continued to work overtime day and night.
  This kind of ghostly day is finally forced to brake when my heart cannot bear it and warns me. I came home and lay on the bed, as if my soul was drained.
  When the boss called me again, it was already a few months later. At first, I took a medical record and asked for a break, and the company acquiesced that I was leaving. When the company was struggling to hire people, the boss called me and said, “You are on vacation almost, when will you come back?”
  I said, “I’ll go back in a few days.” But I have a question in my heart: this is more than half a year. , My so-called struggle, what did I gain and how much did I lose?
  The company changed to a new place. I went back to work in a brand new office building. The office was sunny and there was grass outside the French windows. I sat in the afternoon, but I was restless, and the noisy office notes around me swept like a nightmare. I felt as if I was physically and mentally exhausted when I was on vacation, as if forced to go to a reluctant war. At that moment, I just wanted to be a deserter.
  After work, I ran home and slept in bed at night. I kept looking at my watch and the moon outside the window, tossing and turning. The long night is long, I just think it is short, and the most afraid of seeing is the bright sky. Cui Cui said: “No, you should resign.” The
  next day, I went through the resignation procedure again, and the boss and personnel were surprised at my absurd behavior. I know that the professional reputation that I have accumulated over the past few years has collapsed, but my heart is like removing a huge weight, like escaping from the sea. I walked out of the company with lingering fears, but my heart felt like a fish slipping through the net.
  Since then, I have understood a particularly simple truth: when you are overwhelmed, avoiding is a shameful but useful thing, even a life-saving thing.
four

  I had an argument with a friend when I was working crazy overtime. My friend said that his job did not require overtime. I said that your industry lacks value-added space, and there is no need for overtime opportunities, so you can’t get higher. Salary. My friend retorted: “But I have a life, but you don’t.”
  I was speechless.
  All gains must have the same degree and amount of loss. For a long time, life and work have always been a multiple choice question for me. I chose to be motivated and gave up free life because I acted in accordance with this logic: all your sacrifices will be doubled in return in the future.
  Facts have proved that what is beyond your ability is beyond your ability. The desire in your heart is excessive. What you should cut off is the branches of desire, rather than blindly beat yourself up.
  A lot of our unhappiness is caused by the “tree of desire”. Face overtime, face challenges, face the “child of someone else’s family”, face buying a house, face buying a car, face the fear of the future… Each of them may be particularly useful to you. But when you have to choose to escape, the sun will still rise as usual and life will continue.
  If you still have a “comfort zone”, please cherish it.
  Be a relaxed loser. In fact, if you get rid of all the pressures that make you “cannot stop”, you will see that there will be other roads in front of you, and it may be easier to reach your true self.