Hello, the last time I read your letter, I saw you write that recently I often suffer from insomnia due to anxiety, fear of the night, and many things are unsatisfactory. I also feel lonely in strange cities and crowds, and envy those full of auras. People are at a loss for the future.
This reminds me of myself a few years ago. For a long period of time, I have chosen the lively and noisy, crowded in the crowd, talking about the same topic, listening to the same song, it seems that only in this way can I stay with the world. connection. Maybe it was time that gave me a new experience. I started to try to travel alone, stop and go alone, and calmly accept the surprises or joys that life brings, so that I can truly Experience fullness and stability.
I understand you because we all collapsed in the middle of the night. The night often makes people weak and irrational. You should sleep well before you have the energy to feel the right sunshine. You have to know that those people who are full of auras in your eyes once felt lonely and helpless in taste like you. After walking alone for many days with their heads bored, they were only coated with that golden layer.
This autumn came quietly, the trees on the street were withering day by day, the chill was clearly noticed at night, and everything seemed to be quiet. I don’t know when I started, I have a hobby of watching the sun set, watching the sunset slowly moving, and feeling the loss of residual temperature. Such a rhythm can often slow people down. In a fast-paced city, people care too much about efficiency and rewards, and small unsatisfactory things will inevitably lead to anxiety about the future. But today will not come again, this autumn will not come again, everything you experience is your wealth, there is nothing more precious than living in the present.
I know that at night, you always think about it. Although life is not as good as you want, it is not as bad as you imagined. There is a way before dawn. There is no moonlight or stars. After all, you have to walk step by step on your own, but even if you are lonely and confused, you must know that the sky will always be bright.
Higashino Keigo wrote this sentence in his book: “Growth is the dilemma between compromise and persistence.” We continue to compromise, and we continue to move forward with our teeth. Life often depends on seeing your sweat and willingly. Exchange good luck to you. So, if Lucky doesn’t make the appointment in time, then give yourself a holiday. Learn to accept our anxiety, let it stay in our lives generously, and accept it to be able to adjust it. We are all in this hesitation and repetition, slowly transformed into a grown-up.
We have to learn to get along with ourselves, accept change, adapt to it, and surpass it.
In the movie “Rebirth” directed by David Fincher, everyone is aging in the annual ring of time, and only the male protagonist Benjamin swims upstream in the long river of years. He was abandoned by his father when he was born. At the age of 17, he and Captain Mike met the first woman who kissed him when they went on a boat trip. The woman left without saying goodbye after experiencing a storm with him. The 26-year-old he returned from a boat trip. When he met his dear love, he was hit hard by life again. When life brought surprises and unknowns to him, he readily accepted. When life robbed the love that belonged to him, he still chose to start his own life again and continue to move forward calmly. After experiencing many things that ordinary people would not experience, he also has a new understanding of his own destiny. He realized that it is not age that determines a person’s perception of life, but the current experience and experience. Benjamin finally said this to his daughter. I want to share it with you:
”No matter it’s too late (or too early for you), it won’t stop you from becoming the person you want to be. There is no time for this process. You can start at any time as long as you want to. It doesn’t matter if you want to change or keep it as it is. We should not be restricted in doing things. We can do it well or mess it up, but I hope you can become The person you want to be.
I hope that you can sometimes stop in this world that amazes you and experience the feeling you have never felt before; I hope you can meet people with different opinions; I hope you can have something worthwhile A proud life. If the real life is different from the life you imagined, I hope you have the courage to start anew.”
Finally, what I want to tell you is that you must do what you want to do, choose a path, and then do nothing. Maybe there are few people on this road, or it may be full of thorns, but nothing will really trap you. Please also believe in yourself. Even if you fall into the mud, it does not matter, but you must not lose the courage to stand up again.
There will be big and small stones in our lives. What you have to do is not to escape, not to fear, but to make yourself stronger, broaden your horizons, and make your soul more open-minded. When you calmly walk to a higher place, you will find that the boulders that you could not step over are actually a ladder for you to reach a higher place.
Don’t be afraid of the unknown, it is those unknowns that make up our lives.
Let Qiufeng take the long letter, I wish you a good night’s sleep.
Senior Sister Ximi
October 13, 2020