Pursuing the meaning of life: looking for “you”

  ”In our world, every ‘you’ is destined to evolve into ‘it’, whether friendship, love or family. But please remember that there was a ‘me-you relationship’ between us, which will make us more peaceful. “It is precisely this concluding remark that realizes the author’s complete encounter with this book.
  1. Encounter Encounter
  with the author. Martin Buber was the most influential religious philosopher of the 20th century, known as “one of the greatest Western thinkers”. He used “me and you” to construct an encounter-style relationship world, which is an equal dialogue relationship with each other, and the basis of the activities he participated in throughout his life was the philosophy of encounter with the relationship of “me and you” as the pivot. He put forward the relation ontology, believing that “the relation precedes the entity”, and only in the relation can we recognize the essence of human beings. “Me and You” can be said to be Martin Buber’s masterpiece. The poetic philosophical language and the unique ideas contained in the text are indeed a little difficult for some readers to meet with him, but if the double-edged If the relationship is brought into real life to experience, then it is much easier to try to understand the care the author wants to express.
  meet readers. The book report begins with the author’s favorite and most memorable statement in the book. The author, as a reader, has achieved a complete encounter with this book because of the appearance of this sentence. Why? Buber said, “Children do not first perceive an object and then establish a relationship with it; rather, the effort to establish a relationship occurs first.” Yes, when I was a child, I thought that all people in the world were “I.” , everyone in the world is “you”, so the author ignores the characteristics of others wantonly, and pours out the blood of “I” wholeheartedly. As time went on, the red light of “my relationship with you” turned on, and the author began to grow increasingly fearful and sad because of the alienation from the world of “you”. The author can’t help but ask, why are those charming eyes that used to smile now showing a fierce light? Is it hallucination and imagination? The author is often confused by this, unable to extricate himself. And when I understand what Buber said, “every ‘you’ in the world is destined to evolve into a thing according to its nature”, the helplessness of the author’s growth was instantly dispelled, and he recovered. At that time, in the encounter situation of “me and you”, reading was by no means a one-way effect, not a simple transformation of the reader’s thinking by books, but a spiritual encounter with the reader to a certain extent.
  From the author’s point of view, the encounter is already on the sign. Buber believed that all real life is encounter. I met you in the family, in the campus, the self has been looking for the object, “I” has been looking for “you”, and because of the appearance of “you”, “I” is no longer stingy to pour out the original words, and things gradually become fragmented become the whole. It goes without saying that this is the beauty of human life, the wonderful experience of encounter between lives, but we cannot force it to last. So, having it is enough.
  2. About love
  First of all, Buber believes that emotion resides in people, but people reside in love. At the same time, he believes that love will not attach to “I”, but will content and materialize “you”. Perhaps we can detect that the “love” that Buber refers to is Platonic love – a kind of love that has no “entry”, a love that has no distinction between master and slave, and between master and slave. In “Speak to Empty”, Socrates believes that “reciprocity and reciprocity” is the standard of true love, and following the ladder of this standard to the highest point is to realize the sharing of hearts between people. In the reciprocal love relationship he describes, there is neither one-way transaction, nor coercion and manipulation, and we do not transform each other according to our preferences and images. Beautiful thought. Thinking about it carefully, isn’t this the relationship between “I and you”? Just like Wang Xiaobo said to Li Yinhe, “Loving you is like loving life”, Yu Guangzhong said to Fan Wecun, “I am all about you”, and Zhou Enlai said to Deng Yingchao, “I am a materialist, but for you, I am idealistic.” Indeed, I “love” you as a being, not a possession.
  Secondly, Buber talks about “love is the obligation of every ‘I’ to every ‘you'”, and the author understands this “love” as singleness and uniqueness. I “love” you as a direct, uninterrupted relationship, without any purpose, without any intermediary, a face-to-face encounter. It is like parents who only want their newborn children to be safe, healthy and happy; like couples who have just fallen in love and want to give each other their wholeheartedness; like Dewey’s education concept, respect students’ otherness and encourage them to grow up freely. In “Speak to Empty Words”, Socrates compares communication to love. Although it is not appropriate, love must be special. He pointed out that the lover and the loved should establish a dialogue, not spreading, that is, the intimacy of verbal questions and answers. One point is similar to Buber’s idea that “‘love’ is the obligation of every ‘me’ to every ‘you'”, that is, “love” should also build a dialogue and not spread, in fact, it is the conspiracy of the two views in different fields. However, both emphasize uniqueness.
  Finally, Buber also said that love is the only remaining relationship between people. So how to express “hate”? “The nature of hatred is ‘blindness’, and you can only hate a part of a person who is whole.” Love can love the whole of a person, but hate can only hate a part of a person. We hate a person because I only see part of it, the part we think is unforgivable. Love is the force that fills the world, and when we meet people, if we are in love, if we can be honest with each other, whether good, evil, beautiful or ugly, we do not judge a person by our own experience , not only judge a person by their own preferences, but also learn to love without distinction, then we will cross the insurmountable pole: love everyone!
  3. “My dream of you”
  Is “my dream of you” a fool’s dream or the pursuit of a dream? We need further discussion here. Throughout modern society, the “me and it” relationship is commonplace, and the “me and you” relationship has become invaluable. It is true that our world is sick, and the cause of sickness is the separation of man from God, “me” and “you.” Saint-Exupéry, the author of The Little Prince, believes that people live in a highly commodified society, money has become the standard for measuring everything, many things are materialized and content, and human beings have gradually formed the thinking of commodity logic. This is what Buber called “I-It-Relationship”. It is undeniable that the vast majority of those who compete for commodities in the market are to maximize their own interests. They subtly incarnate as “it” and realize the evolution of “it” – selfish, sensitive Suspicion, money first. The involution behavior in the workplace in order to gain the appreciation of the leadership, the irresponsible behavior of the unscrupulous restaurant in order to save costs, etc., these “anxiety lists” are all harm to the “me-you relationship”. When marriage becomes a commodity, friendship becomes a commodity, education becomes a commodity… When the world we live in is flooded with commodification and monopolized by commodity logic, then we will not be able to obtain the value and value that originally existed in these fields. significance.
  However, even if “I-It-Relationship” is unpleasant and rampant, Buber still admits that “I-It-Relationship” cannot exist independently of human existence. Humans cannot survive without “It”, but only rely on “It” to survive. , is no longer human. The so-called relationship is mutual, it is the mutual achievement of the teacher and the student, and the mutual achievement of the artist and the artwork. “I-it relationship” is not evil itself. What we should pay attention to is not to let human beings rely too much on this unpleasant relationship, otherwise it will affect each other and make people lose their true nature. Although people have to stay in the world of “it” in order to survive, people’s strong desire for “you” makes people constantly resist “it”, and it is this resistance that bursts out people’s spiritual, moral, artistic and world variety. Therefore, Buber’s pursuit of “my relationship with you” is what the author admires and yearns for. He has always insisted and hoped for a truly human relationship between people – “me and you”. When reading the book “The Little Prince” by Saint-Exupéry, the most memorable thing for the author is the greatness of the little prince, that is, after he has seen all the “it” in life, he can still maintain his childlike innocence” You”, have the courage to trust people and tame people, and hold a tender feeling and deep affection for all things in the world – my love for you. The same is true of Martin Buber, who admits that the world cannot abandon “it”, cannot create or maintain a pure “me and you” relationship, but still does not give up calling “you”.

  So far, the author believes that “my dream” is a “dream” of a fool’s dream, and it also represents a “dream” of a dream. As mentioned above, the “me-you relationship” is a priceless treasure, and it is very valuable, so wanting to have a beautiful “me-you relationship” in the social life full of “me-it relationship” for a long time seems to be hopeless and daydreaming. . However, in any case “my dream of you” should be the dream we have been pursuing, because giving up the pursuit of “you” in life is boring and hopeless.
  So, how do we go after “you”? Where is the way out? Where is the antidote?
  4. Pursue the true meaning of life
  If we want to pursue the true meaning of life and solve the congestion of “me-it relationship” in society, then we must not be separated from the support of words such as encounter, equality, and love. Martin Buber believes that to pursue the longevity of the “me-you relationship”, we must learn to establish a dialogue with God and understand that moving towards “eternal you” is a good medicine for social diseases.
  Don’t forget the original words! We should go back to the original words to pursue the true meaning of life. The original words are the root of man and the root of trees. Martin Buber said in “Me and You” that the world has duality and mentioned a group of words, namely “me and you” and “me and it”, in which “I” has duality and cannot exist alone, only constituent item. Because “you” must imply the “me” in “me and you”, and “it” must imply the “me” in “me and it”. At the same time, he believes that the original word “me and it” shapes an experiential world, while “me and you” shapes a relational world. How to explain? Where souls cannot meet and resonate with each other, one party reduces the other party in the relationship to a tool to satisfy my interests, needs, and desires, which is the relationship between “me and it”; where souls can meet, they can have a strong resonance with each other. , in which both parties let go of all expectations and goals and devote themselves entirely to it, is the “me and you” relationship.
  For others, “tame” is one of the ways to “green light” the “me and you” relationship, and it is an effective way to pursue the true meaning of life. The idea of ​​”tame” here comes from “The Little Prince”, “tame” is not conquest, not overwhelming repression by both sides of the relationship, nor is it that one person has to obey the other and make it succumb. On the contrary, “tame” is the establishment of a connection by the other party on a voluntary basis, a manifestation of mutuality and equivalence, and a beautiful relationship entered through love. No matter friendship or love, they should tame each other and keep each other in good hands. respect. The little prince and the rose achieved mutual taming, and the little prince also unilaterally tamed the fox. Therefore, in order to make the relationship between “me and you” endure, you need to understand the person or thing that “you” cares about with your heart, and “tame” it with your heart. When “I” and “you” tame each other, “I” will never It is not to satisfy any needs of “I”, but such a purely “tame” relationship gives life meaning. Because “you” is the world and life.
  As far as oneself is concerned, only by being loyal to “I” can we meet “you”. Buber said that the communication mode that is distinct from “me and it” is “me and you,” which is a unique mode. Any pair of teacher-student, parent-child, husband and wife or labor-management relationship is different. We are all unique people, not a member of a certain type of people. You are yourself, and we should clearly recognize that each individual is unique. of. Buber also said in “Silent Questions” that we must learn to start by ourselves. If we don’t live in a positive way, if we don’t reveal the meaning of life in our own way, then life will still be meaningless. In life, we often hear the older generation say “our generation is like this”, or we will hear some mothers say “other children are like this”, obviously such groups ignore the uniqueness of people and ignore the “I. ‘ uniqueness. In short, people can have similar social attributes, similar classes, and similar groups of people, but “I” can only meet “you” only if I live in a group with similar social attributes and a unique personality. ”, in order to live a wonderful life, so as to pursue the true meaning of life.
  ”Me and You” has been created for nearly a hundred years, and it still has guiding significance for modern life today. “Me and You” places dual relationships in the context of social phenomena, and is devoted to analyzing various relationships in the world.
  ”Besides covering the volume, I felt that the book was not thin or not, and that the gentleness was short and short, so I had to chew it over and over again. At the meeting with you, I had to sigh, ‘Since I take my heart as a form of service, I am melancholy and sad?’ At the same time, I talked about masturbation with the ancient Chinese motto of ‘conscientiousness and deeds’!” This is the paragraph mentioned by Mr. He Guanghu at the end of this book. Words belong to his thoughts and feelings. After the author chewed it over and over again, the two key words that circulated in my mind were “worth” and “thank you”. Even though Martin Buber’s book is obscure and difficult to understand, it takes a lot of time to read, and even though some of Martin Buber’s views are flawed, it resonates with “me” to a certain extent and successfully builds “My relationship with you” also poured infinite power into the author’s growth.
  It is true that the world is divided into two parts. People get along with others, and they will not be separated from the two relationships of “me and you” and “me and it”. Unfortunately, “I and you” is a non-guaranteed relationship, an accidental relationship. As we live in a world of “me and it” every day, don’t forget that the most critical part of what makes people human is the “me and you” relationship, and that’s what makes us whole, loving, kind The basic condition for the capitalized “person”. It is better that while we fully enjoy the current “me-you relationship”, we should not forget to encourage more and more people to use the “me and you” relationship to view and deal with various things, and believe that the world will be towards the truest and best. direction development.
  In short, enjoy the moment, be kind to yourself, and be kind to others.

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