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Doyle Long’s Remorse

  The morning dew slipped from the tip of the grass and dripped on Angie’s eyebrows, awakening her. The anxious sun hurried to work, and after getting dressed, he climbed from Dongshan to the sky. Some people have come to the park for morning exercises. They run around Angie in circles, sometimes casting doubtful eyes, sometimes talking in secret, guessing the situation here last night.
  Fuck, leave the old lady here alone. Gui Sun, men don’t have a good thing. Angie cursed.
  In this strange city, an exquisite southern town, only Anji is so kind to vegetation. She can caress the grass and sing under the blue sky and white clouds, or sleep soundly with the wood in her arms when the moon is dark and the wind is high, but sleeping on the bed is uncomfortable. The male star chanted all night long, as well as the humidity under the bed and the musty smell in the air, all of which made her unaccustomed.
  At eight o’clock, the counselor called and urged her to pay the tuition.
  Fuck you, can’t you wait a minute?
  Classmate Anji, you can’t talk like that. This academic year is coming to an end, and you are the only one in the entire academy who has not paid tuition fees.
  What did you teach me, I’ll pay you tuition? Did you teach me to ride a horse or teach me to milk!
  The counselor was silent, and the office noise came from the phone. Most intellectuals couldn’t stand such harsh words, but they were actually doing something more disgusting than this.
  Anyway, the old lady has already spent the tuition fee. If you have the ability, you can call me. Angie hung up the phone.
  She knew that no matter how outrageous she did, the school couldn’t open her up. She doesn’t have anything to do, but if there is anything, someone will come out to protect her, and there are old acquaintances at home. This is the last blessing her mother left her in this world, and it is also a black hole in her heart.
  Angie made a pigtail and painted her eyes black. The holes in her jeans were made by herself, a unique style. The mud and dust on the leather shoes did not seem to match the neat dress. It didn’t matter, no one would dare to point fingers at Angie’s shoes, and even if there were, she wouldn’t care. After cleaning up like this, there is nothing serious about it. People like her, don’t they just wander around every day?
  Walking on the road of the campus, rows of plane trees stand on both sides, adding a solemnity to the campus. The ancient buildings of blue bricks and white tiles are witnesses to the history of the school, and history will not deceive people. Students are either carrying school bags or carrying bags, rushing to the classroom and to the library in a hurry. They are all working hard for the light of tomorrow. Successes are shared, and failures are encouraged. But Anji didn’t, so Anji didn’t have to move in the direction of the crowd.
  An Ji’s life experience is like a secret place in the Qilian Mountains. After the death of his mother, this secret place has become even more obscure. Some people said that it was because her mother was sexually assaulted when she went to the mountains to herd, but her mother did not admit it. Some people say that it was a one-night stand with tourists from the grassland, but there is no actual evidence after all. It is said that some people say that, in fact, no one said that the children of the Yugur people on the grasslands are not as eloquent as the people in urban and rural areas.
  When he was a child, Anji’s tent was located at the end of a small river. The river came from the sky and melted the snow of countless winters in the Qilian Mountains. It was cool and sweet, and nurtured little Anji. Small rivers, lush wild grasses and wild flowers, and herds of cattle, sheep and horses accompanied Anji throughout his childhood. At that time, she didn’t know what it meant to be human. But according to my mother, it is better to be with people than to be with herds of cattle and sheep, with the babbling brook, with the wild grass and wildflowers. So An Ji’s playmates, except for his mother An Qi, are the mane horse at home, and they named it Mao Mao.
  The hot summer sun shines through the snow on the top of the mountain and casts more dazzling sunlight on the tent of Anji’s house. The mother and daughter are sitting by the river, rummaging through the moist soil under the green grass. Anji is building a castle, and her mother is pinching little people. And the horse, this is Angie’s clearest childhood memory. The mother said that the two clay figurines, one is the mother and the other is the little Anji, and the horse is naturally Maomao.
  Mommy, you made Anji as tall as you. Anji has pigtails. Why doesn’t the Anji you pinch have pigtails? Hurry up and give Anji a pigtail. Every time the castle game ends here, and the mother gets up to milk the cow.
  Castles were completed in the hands of Angie and her mother, and then washed away by the river. Every moment when the castles were destroyed, Angie’s childhood was spent. Her mother took her down the mountain and rented a small shop on the edge of the grassland to welcome and see off guests for Anji to go to school.
  Angie took a bottle of drink from the school supermarket and habitually walked out without paying the bill. The salesperson’s eyes kept staring out with Angie’s footsteps, her nostrils were widened by angry blood vessels, and it was not until Angie disappeared at the end of her line of sight that she retracted her entire face. I really can’t understand why this student is like this, her parents know what she’s doing outside, it’s really embarrassing for her family…
  As soon as the sun sets, the sky is lit up by a peripheral light, and the surrounding residents come to the school to run, play ball, or Walk the dog. Angie despises, what is there to walk a dog, if he has the ability to ride a horse for a few laps. People in the city are always suave, and even the sports are self-deceiving. A football fell from the sky and landed at An Ji’s feet. An Ji took a step back and kicked the ball outside the school’s courtyard wall. Someone on the road outside the courtyard wall was beaten for no reason, cursing in a dirty mouth. When Angie heard it, the man scolded her for being sick, but she was not angry, and the destructive behavior made her feel comfortable. This ability to easily arouse the anger of others made her find an unprecedented superiority. “The sorghum is ripe and the sky is full of red, Jiu’er, I’ll take you to a distant place, Jiu’er, I’ll take you to a distant place…” An Ji shouted a few times, took a horse-riding posture, and left.
  Damn it, it’s done when it’s done, what are you going to eat when you’re an old lady? The young man who was partying together last night somehow got An Ji’s phone number and asked her to go out to dinner.
  In the year following her mother’s death, Angie became casual and dissolute. She doesn’t even know the names of some of the men she has had relationships with, and she can’t remember their specific appearance. She can only think of those pungent perfumes or bad breath in a flash. In short, men are stinky. . She doesn’t like men. From the bottom of her heart, she hates every man. When she has a preliminary perception of people and sex, she understands that if there is no man, she will not come to this world. She hates the man who made her born, she doesn’t know who he is, but she vaguely expects that this man is now by her side, feeling ashamed and resentful for what she has done now. Otherwise, how could my mother know a powerful “upper” person in an unfamiliar city three thousand miles away? Unless this person had something to do with her in the past, and this friendship was enough to drive him to hide aside and silently protect Angie, a word emerged from the insides at the same time – father. This made Angie feel disgusted, she said to herself, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then the bad anger in her heart disappeared.
  How to find this person? My mother said to study hard and become an excellent person, but now it seems that it is meaningless. This is how human society is. Truth, goodness and beauty may not solve all problems. For a conscientious criminal, the better the victim’s life, the lighter the guilt in his heart, and over time, he can be at peace in the depths of his heart and achieve self-forgiveness. This is not what Angie wanted. She concluded that this person still has a conscience, otherwise her mother would not let him protect her. He must be in control of everything in an unknown corner. When one day, the fig leaf of the soul is torn off, He will appear in front of him.

  The summer in Qilian Mountain is lush, and every grass is growing vigorously. The mountain flowers are in full bloom, struggling to bloom in the tight green net. The snow on the top of the mountain is still left, and when it evaporates, the water vapor is dense, and it is integrated with the flowing clouds, creating a feeling of heaven and earth, flying clouds and mists.
  There is an endless stream of tourists from afar, some by car, some by plane and train, not far away, all to see the majestic scenery of the Qilian Mountains and the unique customs of the Yugur people. When traveling and leaving, An Qi Tavern is the best place for them to rest.
  An Qi serves tourists every day. The simple meals are authentic and delicious. Sometimes it is hand-grabbed mutton, braised donkey meat, and sometimes it is a bowl of mushroom soup noodles… The limited cooking skills have been praised by the guests again and again. Serving homemade yogurt and rice wine is a natural feast.
  Anji went to school in the elementary school of Huangcheng Town, carrying a schoolbag on his back every day, chasing him back and forth. Several times, he did not listen to the dissuasion, and rode Mao Mao to the school. Along the way, the cement floor wore through several pairs of horseshoes. Little Angie is very obedient and capable, and her mother often praises her. Since she was nine years old, she has been responsible for bringing the meals prepared by her mother to the guests. Sometimes the plates are bigger than the whole person. She staggered to the front hall top-heavy, causing the guests to laugh. Sometimes guests joke with Xiao Anji, little girl, can you sing Yugur folk songs? Xiao Anji always didn’t answer the other party, and opened his mouth to come to “The Girl of the Yugur Clan is Me”, before his voice fell, the warm applause swirled on the beam.
  In the dead of night, An Ji and her mother sat together on the stairs outside the house. The stars in the night sky stirred up ripples in An Qi’s heart. Angie, my mother’s life is probably the only way to go. As a girl, you must study hard and become a good girl, not like your mother… You must cherish your time, love yourself, and know your mistakes. Just change it, some mistakes cannot be made, or you will have to lose a lifetime to correct it… Anji didn’t understand, but her mother touched Anji’s hair and kissed her gently on the forehead. The evening wind was blowing, mixed with the fragrance of green grass, passing through every wrinkle of An Qi, swaying those sad memories.
  Angie’s actions at a parent meeting gave her the first conception of the term father. The guests in the tavern came in and out, An Qi couldn’t get out for a while, and he didn’t arrive at school for a long time. The head teacher waited anxiously, and called Anji outside the door. Anji, where’s your mother, why didn’t you come? An Ji was silent, and after a long silence, he said that it was probably because there were too many people in the store. What about your father, why didn’t your father come? Angie is anxious, her huge eyes are like a frightened wild horse, staring at the head teacher fiercely, I don’t know, I don’t have a dad, why do you mention my dad… Angri Angie ran home, pulling the reins of Mao Mao rushed into the grassland.
  She slapped Mao Mao eagerly and kept shouting “drive, drive”. The whip whipped the innocent grassland and land, making cracks in the green grass. The green juice soaked the whip, and the whipping sound changed. get stronger. A herd of cattle, sheep and horses passed by Anji. She saw a male and a female in the flock chasing, and at the edge of the stream, the mother cow was licking the newborn calf with her tongue. It turns out that it is also possible to create a life. So Easy. Anji has been riding to the deep mountains, as if to verify some legends, to see if there is a shepherd in the deep mountains, and to see if she came from here. Angie shouted to the valley over and over again, Dad, do I have a dad? If you were my father, you would give it to me… The echoes rippling throughout the mountains, from loud to quiet, but always echoed with questions and no answers. The spiritual Mao Mao stopped, it was already dark, and bonfires were lit on the grassland, like the stars in the green sky. Outside the tent, people were singing, and cattle and horses were howling.
  An Qi stood at the intersection, looking around aimlessly. What are you doing, are you trying to kill your mother?
  Angie didn’t say a word, and silently pulled Mao Mao forward. What my mother told you since I was a child, respect the teacher and respect the teacher, you can contradict the teacher at will, how can the teacher teach you… An Qi rambled, the silent An Ji closed her ears, only the momentary screams of Mao Mao broke the night. silence.
  Anji was in a hurry, tied Mao Mao to the post under the shed, and threw a bale of hay into the manger, fiddling and swaying with his hands, his hands going back and forth between the horse’s mouth, disturbing Mao Mao’s interest in grazing. give up.
  Why don’t I have a father, my father?
  An Qi was silent, and the cold wind came blowing, her dry and cracked skin blew a hole in the dark night, and the pain of memories flowed in her veins. Two lines of clear tears flowed down slowly, she sat on the ground, struggling, tangled, torn, painful, whether to tell everything in this dark night. Angie snuggled up in front of her, waiting for the light on her life experience. The bonfires in the distance are scattered, some newly lit, some just extinguished, the grass slowly swaying in the evening wind, driving the entire grassland and driving the entire hillside. The scent of fragrant grass mixed with the stench of cattle and sheep, blowing to the stables one after another, in the waves of swinging between heaven and earth, soon, dawn came. Mother counted the past in her heart, but said nothing.
  An Qi got up, slapped his trousers with both hands, and cleaned up the contaminated dust and hay. Angie, you don’t have a father. Don’t mention it again. It’s your mother who is sorry for you. Rubbed his eyes and left.
  Angie is a stubborn child, but she came to an abrupt end on this issue. She had fought at school with boys who mocked her for not having a father, and her hair was pulled, and she scratched each other’s face. I also spent several evenings after school, wandering in the grasslands, watching the faces of every shepherd, trying to find some similar factors to myself. But in front of her mother, she said nothing.
  Anji’s dull days ended in an English class.
  The teacher asked her to have a conversation with another classmate about life planning. When the other student spoke fluent English and asked what kind of person you want to be in the future, Angie said it in class. Two words: scumbag. It made the whole class burst into laughter, the girls whispered, and the boys whistled.
  The English teacher stood motionless on the podium, took off his glasses in exasperation, and then put them on reluctantly. His empty eyes showed terrifying anger through the reflective glasses, and he stared at Angie stubbornly. Out of the classroom with a bag.
  The setting sun at noon poured in from the open classroom door, illuminating half of An Ji’s body. An Ji made a face at the teacher’s retreating back, his tongue was bare in the sunlight, red and scarlet, very scary.
  On the third day, Angie received a notice of the school teacher’s conversation. It is said that after the English teacher slammed the door and left that day, he rushed directly to the dean’s office, bluntly said that such students could not teach, and asked the dean to fire An Ji. All the teachers, security guards, and cleaning staff were all lying at the door of the dean, when they heard a scumbag coming from the crack of the door. Since then, Anji has become an “ideal scumbag” known to all teachers and students in the school.
  Hello Anji, why do you contradict the teacher in English class?
  You said you wanted to be a scumbag, did it come from your heart?
  Why do you think this way?

  Anji didn’t know that the school had made such a big battle and hired a psychology teacher. With a piece of paper and a pen, the psychology teacher was memorizing something, and talking non-stop.
  Yes, I want to be a scumbag from the bottom of my heart!
  You do not want it?
  Don’t you want to?
  The teachers present looked left and right in silence. The dean turned the pen in one hand, clenched the other into an empty fist, covered his mouth and coughed a few times to clear his throat, and sat upright ready to speak: Classmate Anji, our school often conducts moral education classes and psychological counseling classes. Did you not participate?
  Why should I take a useless class?
  The dean was caught off guard, and he swallowed what he said, probably because he had never seen such a student before.
  Our school will hold a career planning competition every semester. The counselor will tailor a career plan for each student. Have you not participated?
  I don’t need others to plan for me, Anji stared at the dean, showing the true character of a woman who does not let men.
  How did you come up with such a career? As a college student, you have to realize the value of your life…
  Are scumbags worthless, don’t you like them, haven’t you seen them before? The teachers tried their best to suppress their laughter, but a few female teachers couldn’t hold back their laughter. The laughter that didn’t come out even farted from below.
  The dean couldn’t suppress the anger in his heart, and slapped the table viciously, just as he was about to continue talking, he was interrupted by a phone call.
  The classroom fell into silence at first, and then, as the dean didn’t come in, the teachers began to whisper. Angie faintly smelled the elegant perfume in the air, mixed with their breath, contributing to a special human smell, which was annoying. They said they were going to expel her, and the psychology teacher said why would such a student still be kept? It was hopeless.
  You are not saved, An Ji shouted at the psychology teacher. Just as he was about to stand up, the dean pushed open the door and came in.
  Come here today, Anji, you can go back. You are a good student if you know your mistakes and correct them. The teachers look forward to your corrections.
  Angie was as puzzled as everyone in the room at first, but she vaguely felt that that person had appeared – her father. Angie jumped up and clenched her fist, slammed it on the table, kicking the desk and chair in the classroom as she walked, she hated herself, why did she recite this name in her heart again.
  Angie was notified of her mother’s critical illness in November of her freshman year. At the moment of receiving the notice, Angie was just as her mother expected, studying hard, trying to be a good student and a good girl, the library was silent, and Angie cried uncontrollably. Tears soaked the paper that had just been written on, soaked the handwriting, and around the characters and symbols, there were small roads extending like ants, like rivers, like the hills of Qilian Mountain. An Ji did not expect that the cancer cells fought a battle of annihilation in the mother’s body in just half a month. The mother used the last tenacity of her life to wait for An Ji’s return.
  The white walls in the ward and the white bed together create a terrifying atmosphere in the room. I saw that the mother’s body was full of tubes and tied with bags. The last liquid that came out of it, yellow urine, red blood, and a transparent bag, was the last breath that it maintained my mother.
  An Ji knelt on the head of the bed, gently stroking her mother’s dry arms, lying on her mother’s stomach, crying softly, awakening An Qi who was sleeping.
  An Qi hugged An Ji with her weak hands, and touched An Ji’s head, An Ji’s neck, An Ji’s hands, and An Ji’s butt. The slim girl in front of her was her daughter. Once, she also greeted her with such a strong and weak body, and once gave birth to her on such a monotonous and dead bed, scenes from Anji’s childhood were projected in her mind, walking for ten months, talking at the age of one, Her daughter is really smart and cute, but now… her hand wants to continue to slide, she wants to continue to touch with such a rhythm, she wants to use the last strength to feel to the fullest, she accidentally pinches Angie, almost the last effort , On the edge of life and death, she struggled, whether to die with this secret. If so, Anji will have no relatives in the world in the future, Anji will become an orphan, yes, an eighteen-year-old orphan, two tears squeezed out from the corners of his eyes, watered the long-dried skin, and after drying, two tears were formed. The white imprint is connected to the brow bone and crosses the bridge of the nose, like a cross scar. Yes, this is one of her scars. Angie is the biggest scar in her life. She doesn’t want to tear it apart and let new blood flow out of the dry scar. At the same time, she was not sure what to do with Angie’s attitude. What should Angie do when she heard such a news, and who would help her daughter soothe those sad feelings… Thinking of this, her hands stopped at Angie’s thighs , and then drooped down An Ji’s hard and rough jeans, the light of the sky gradually blurred in her eyes, and the hustle and bustle of the world instantly vanished. Down in the brain, until the world dimmed in her life, she took the secret, but not the product of that scar.
  Silence, silence, the whole world withered, Angie screamed and roared, don’t cover her mother’s head with a quilt, she doesn’t like sleeping with her head covered… Don’t cover her with a white quilt, she doesn’t like white , she doesn’t like white… Her thighs lost strength in an instant, and she knelt on the smooth floor of the ward. The place where her mother touched was numb, and every nerve was beating with difficulty. She hoped that the pain just now would come again, and her mother’s warm hand would pinch her again, her eyes were in a trance, and a voice swirled in her mind over and over again, Angie, my little Angie. She wanted to hold her mother’s hand, but was stopped by the person on the right and left. The nurse pushed her mother away, and the silent Bai suddenly became indifferent. Looking at her mother’s body, Anji vaguely knew that from then on, on the vast grassland, by the gurgling stream, and even in a world full of people, she, Anji, had no relatives.
  …
  An Qi’s funeral was very simple. An Ji buried her mother’s ashes in the wasteland in the west mountain. There were scattered tombs everywhere, followed by mounds one after another. Sleeping there, looking up, you can see the white snow on the top of Qilian Mountain. Looking into the distance, you can see the cattle and sheep on the green grassland. The tornado blows up the loess and dry branches around, and rolls them up to the sky together. It is like the mayfly of the soul, and it is like the separation of man and god.
  An Ji could not kneel before the grave for a long time. This was the first time that she knelt here and looked up at Qilian Mountain and the sky. It turns out that people are so insignificant in the world, the power, wealth and family are inexorable, and life comes and goes. Mother has left, and in this world, there will be no one who is connected with her blood. No, maybe there is another, Anji wakes up instantly, there is another, there should be another, otherwise, how did she come to this world?
  An Ji, who returned to the dormitory, was like a lone explorer, and the Shuilian Cave under the secret realm was in front of him: if they could not be opened, the two of them might be close at hand; if they were opened, they would have to be thousands of miles apart. The eager thirst for knowledge and hypothetical fear made her flustered, she hated, the white eyes and gossip she had endured for so many years were buzzing in her ears now, why was the man who brought her into the world for 18 years She has been indifferent to her since, and why is she appearing in her life at this moment. It shouldn’t, it shouldn’t, Angie repeated over and over again, she violently ruffled her hair, hammered the bed board and the wall, the cluttered sound restored her tranquility for a moment, and then fell into a more anxious one. in the flames.

  She rolled over, jumped off the bed, tied her shoelaces with a dead knot, and ran out. The sound of the wind was like thunder, and the raindrops passed through her thin clothes like the tip of a needle, and the needle pierced her heart. Mom’s face swayed in front of her eyes, standing in front of the water, Angie’s face reflected in the water. Yes, she was almost like her mother. In terms of her gene expression, the man she had never seen accounted for more than half. Angie kicked herself in the water, crossed over from the water, and rushed to the gate of the secret realm. .
  Mr. Zhu, I will pay the tuition fee. Angie stood in front of the counselor, with his hands behind his back, and took a slight step to the left.
  The counselor was very short, sitting on a chair like a lump of independent fat pork. He first said softly in a low voice, “Come on, sit first.” Then I operated the computer for a while, and after a while, I looked up.
  Angie, have you come to pay the tuition? Have you been rich lately? The counselor stared at Angie while holding his glasses, sit down, don’t be nervous.
  An Ji was sitting on the sofa just now. Although An Ji has been to this office countless times, the air today is obviously different, kind and tranquil.
  The counselor took out a paper cup from the cabinet under his feet, took half cold water and half hot water, and handed it to Angie. Why did you think that you will come to pay the tuition today? The counselor crossed Erlang’s legs and faced Anji. Have the final exam results come down? How are you doing?
  Angie didn’t say anything, didn’t look at him, just looked at the ceiling casually, watching the birds and butterflies outside the window chasing in the lawn.
  If you can take the initiative to pay the tuition fee, it means that you are still a good boy. You can correct your mistakes, and you can do great things. The past can be forgotten. Our teacher will not give up any student…
  Angie interrupted him. How much is the tuition fee?
  This, don’t you know? Someone has paid your tuition for you, so you don’t have to worry about it!
  An Ji was silent for a while, and the truth of the secret realm gradually surfaced. Anji took a sip of water and said calmly, “Thank you for helping me, thank you, Teacher Zhu.” Then get up and leave.
  The counselor sent Anji to the door. Wait, Anji, what is the relationship between you and Principal Huang? We haven’t done a good job in our work, and we haven’t investigated it clearly…
  Anji glanced back at the counselor and left in a big stride.
  Along the way, An Ji recited this name silently, Principal Huang, Principal Huang, Principal Huang…
  For a long time, An Ji thought that the building facing the South Gate was the most beautiful place in the school. Two rows of phoenix trees greeted slowly, like soldiers guarding the frontier, and like musicians on both sides of the red carpet in a grand festival. The building is not high. It is a Russian-style building with only five floors. The beveled corners of the herringbone are very sharp, and there is no extra decoration. The dark red roof slope and the dark blue walls stand in the misty and rainy town, telling the sentimental tenderness. Jiangnan temperament. Anji has stopped here countless times, watching the red sunset spread out in the corner of the wall, the vines climbed up in an orderly manner, and chatted with the flowing clouds and wild birds. The raindrops hanging on the branches are distinct, swaying down with the breeze, and falling into the corner of Anji’s eyes, which is cold and refreshing. Angie rubbed her eyes and walked upstairs.
  Every few steps, the voice-activated lights illuminate the road ahead. Angie has never walked on such a bright road. She gradually eased her steps and climbed step by step, calm and powerful. The picture of Anji in the grassland comes to mind. She tames an unknown wild horse with a horse whip, beats an outdated goat with a branch, rides on the back of an ox with horns in both hands, picks up a stone and knocks it on the forehead of the little white rabbit. Shooting birds coming and going with a slingshot, slashing the rooster’s neck with a knife, fighting with the boys in the class by the river, hitting him in the chest, punching and kicking him, and pressing his head on the steaming cow dung Then pull him by the ears and put him into the water… wild horses, goats, old cows, she has no trouble tame these heavy guys; rabbits, birds, roosters, she can kill all these small things without fail . She is also not cowardly when fighting against others. When he arrived, the five characters of “Principal’s Office” were displayed in front of An Ji.
  Angie stood at the door, stomped his feet habitually, took a deep breath, put his hands in his trouser pockets, and kicked the door with his feet. One by one, the footprints were displayed on the dark red door. The moment the footprints moved backwards, the light instantly became brighter. With a blink of an eye, Angie’s heartbeat jumped to her face.
  My mother is An Qi, and An Ji stared at the decent principal in front of him, comparing the similarities with himself. A bony middle-aged man with a few white hairs protruding from the top of his jet-black head in the sunlight, stubby and sparse eyebrows, thick spectacles blocking the peripheral vision of his eyes, a high nose bone, sunken cheekbones, in the face. There is an unfamiliar curvature of left and right symmetry on the upper part of the body, and the lips are purple and chapped.
  He stood up, his hands hanging numbly, his eyes dull but speechless.
  Do you know An Qi at the foot of Qilian Mountain?
  An Qi of the Yugur people, do you know?
  He took two steps back, put one hand on the moonlit windowsill, and a sound came from above his head, is that you, you are?
  Angie sat down on the sofa, changed his hands from the pockets of his trousers to his pockets, and interrogated everything in the room with cold eyes, tables, chairs, books, ashtrays, and tea cups, interrogating his past life and present days. The face of my mother when she died appeared one after another behind the windowsill. She heard her mother’s voice, heard her mother calling her name… About me, I want to hear from you.
  He squatted down straight and leaned his entire body against the wall, his eyes not moving. An Ji vaguely saw that there were a few drops of water swirling in the corners of his eyes, reflecting his own appearance. He swallowed a few mouthfuls of saliva, and the curtain above the secret realm instantly melted.
  Anji has heard that Doerlang is a marriage custom in the history of the Yugur people. A woman can live in a tent alone from the age of fifteen to seventeen, and dating any man is not a marriage contract.
  The topic I did was the scientific examination of the marriage customs of the Yugur people. Your mother drove the sheep past. She was so beautiful. Her two braids were like ribbons on the mountains, and her smile was as comfortable as clouds and moonlight. She was very cheerful and took the initiative to chat with us about life in the grasslands. I told her the story of Doerlang. I didn’t expect that she would come back and tell me that I also have my own tent!
  He covered his eyes and cried, sobbing. I didn’t even think that in just one month, you would be conceived. I really don’t know. After the exam, I left. I don’t know that she lasted her whole life by herself…
  You do not know? Do you really not know? Angie stood up from the sofa and stepped on the mahogany coffee table with one foot. Her mother’s face was particularly bright under the light. She saw her mother’s two braids, her enthusiastic smile, and her horse galloping in the wind… … Angie jumped off the table, and in an instant, he landed his palm on the ugly, dazzling old face. Angie didn’t look at him, she stared at the window, stared at the mahogany coffee table, stared at the looming starlight in the night sky, and kicked over, she heard his pain, but only a few sighs, not howling, nor howling. not talking. Angie felt a twitch in her heart, her eyes could no longer catch her mother’s face, and instead she smelled the familiar fragrance of green grass outside, Angie kicked his lower body and left.
  The stars were bright tonight, and Angie breathed a sigh of relief.
  When I heard this story from other people, the principal of our school was no longer surnamed Huang, and I only heard from my classmates and teachers about the news that someone met the former principal in a certain hospital yesterday to see the prostate.

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