AIDS, used to be very close to me

  On an autumn afternoon, a handsome and fair-skinned high school boy hurried to my studio, hoping to get help as soon as possible. From the look of his pale face, rapid voice, and anxiety, I knew that something must have happened to the boy.
  As soon as he was seated, the boy couldn’t wait to say: “Teacher, can you save me? I may have AIDS, but I don’t want to die. I feel very sad when I think that my life may be counted in days! Teacher, you Help me?…” The
  boy’s voice was choked, his eyes filled with tears. I still don’t know what happened in the world of the 18-year-old boy, but the anxiety, fear, self-blame and entanglement in the boy’s heart can be clearly felt. Here’s what he says –
  I’ve been doing well in my studies, but I’m not very comfortable with people and I’m used to reading books by myself. This was fine in elementary school and junior high school. After high school, I felt more and more lonely in my heart. I really longed for friends to communicate with. I was trying to change myself.
  A classmate gave me a website. During the winter vacation, I finally opened that mysterious website. I thought I knew everything, but after I entered the pornographic websites, I found out that I only had a “slight knowledge” about sex. I didn’t know if I was curious, impulsive, or just seeking excitement. Of course, my heart is often very contradictory, and in addition to the stimulation, I often blame myself for my poor self-control, unable to resist this temptation.
  Later, I entered a gay website, and many terms related to homosexuality came into my field of vision. I am curious to know their living conditions, so that I know that there can be love between same-sex. I’ve met some people here, have some opinions about homosexuality, and decided that I may be born gay.
  Last Saturday night, I had a dispute with my parents because of some things, and I felt very uncomfortable. I ran to the Internet cafe in a fit of rage and wanted to find a friend to vent. In the comrade group, a man patiently listened to me nagging a lot, and said that he could chat with me face-to-face. I did not refuse, and took a taxi to the man’s house. I thought I could have intimate communication with my good friend, but I didn’t expect that person to be particularly bad. As soon as I entered his house, he locked the door and forced me to have sex with him. After he asked me to give him oral sex, he forced me to have other sexual acts… I got rid of that person, I don’t know how I got home, I didn’t sleep that night.
  Yesterday I went to the hospital to check whether I was infected with HIV. The result of the test came out and said that it was not detected. Later, the doctor explained that even if I was infected, it would take at least a few weeks of incubation period to detect it. It’s been three days, and I’m really at a loss. I usually brush my teeth and my gums bleed very much. Will oral sex be infected with the virus? How could that person treat a middle school student like this?…
  I told the boy: have I been infected with AIDS ? The virus cannot be detected at present, and the test results after the window period will have a say, only waiting. If there is no high-risk behavior (sexual behavior, blood transfusion, etc.) before, the symptoms of nausea, dizziness, loss of appetite and even vomiting in the past two days are not symptoms of HIV infection, not so fast! These symptoms are not related to their own Anxiety, panic, self-blame, pain and other psychological factors are directly related to each other. If you can find a reasonable way to relax properly, you will feel better.
  The boy’s mood gradually calmed down.
  We explored related topics about homosexuality. No matter how the society opens up, people who deviate from the norm will still face many obstacles to survive in this society. I hope that the children around me can have a happy life without being isolated and rejected by society! Through communication, boys Realize that factors such as bad family atmosphere, parental marital status, introverted personality, unhealthy online information, inner loneliness in adolescence, and curiosity about sexuality may all affect one’s own psychological development and gender orientation. The reason! He can’t be said to be a “hardcore” homosexual, but it is a fact that he has suffered a big loss due to his lack of necessary precautions!
  Finally, when it comes to sex, I explicitly tell boys that, whether it’s same-sex or opposite-sex sex, there is a particularly critical issue that must be taken into account, and that is safety! The easiest sex education law for Europeans” Unless you give me safe sex, don’t talk about it!” is the most classic interpretation of safety first! The
  boy understood my request, and I sincerely hope that the boy can make appropriate psychological and Guarantee your physical and mental development!
  Looking at the boy still has doubts, but compared to when I came here, I have a lot of relief, my heart is extremely complicated, our education can actually do more things to help children Avoid possible harm and lead children to grow up healthily! Youth sex education work, life education work, and society, family, and school can all become the power of youth sex education!
  Here, I really want to appeal to those “adults” Conscience, please don’t sully children’s pursuit of love and good things so easily, especially those “adults” who cheat money and sex on the Internet don’t hurt more innocent people. As children growing up, they should have a more discerning heart and a more rational heart, and don’t be deceived by pornographic websites or some “adults” who are scheming, and lose their virginity, and even face the danger of losing their lives!
  
  Attachment: Letter from the boy two months later: Mr.
  Bai:
  Hello, it has been almost two months since the first conversation with you. I have good news for you, I had an HIV antibody test about three weeks ago and it came back negative, it was after the window period, so it should be accurate. When I got this news, it was you who I really wanted to tell, because I didn’t know who to tell about such exciting things. Although it has been a long time, the impact of that incident on me is still lingering. I really wish that never happened. It made me confused about my future. I don’t know if the same-sex life is suitable for me, and I don’t know what kind of marriage and family I can have in the future. In fact, I really long for love, happiness, home, and parents.
  There is always an urge to regenerate life. This experience has puzzled me for a long time, and I have learned a lot, especially how to cherish life !
  Thank you for your company. I hope that teachers and parents will pay more attention to our actual needs, help us spend the most precious time in our lives, and have fewer tragedies caused by ignorance!
  Boys who have gradually stepped out of the shadow of AIDS are in the winter.