The moment you put down your phone

　　I don’t know if everyone has this kind of situation: I have downloaded countless habit-forming and goal-planning software, but always give up halfway, and then attribute the failure to the incompatibility with the software, and then go to the next software; There are countless dusty favorites, but the number of times I look back can be counted on dozens of fingers; when problems arise, I either complain about various factors outside myself, or seek answers from outside, but rarely ask questions from myself .
　　I have experienced all the above. I wanted to get rid of laziness, cowardice, and timidity countless times, but I couldn’t do it. Until I came home because of the epidemic, I found that my mother was very self-disciplined. Her daily use of mobile phones is limited to chatting in WeChat groups and watching official accounts before going to bed, but she goes to bed at 11:30 every day, wakes up at 6:00, then does exercise, cooks, buys vegetables, goes to work, picks up my brother at noon, and picks up my brother in the afternoon. Go to work again, do laundry at night, do yoga stretching, and finally read a book, write a diary, and sleep before going to bed… She has a regular schedule, is dedicated to doing things, and has strong mobility. I asked my mother why she could do this, and my mother said that it can be done unlike my father who just holds his mobile phone to watch after get off work.
　　I started to reflect. I think back to when I didn’t have a mobile phone in junior high school, my academic performance was not particularly good, but I experienced progress from the bottom of the grade to the top five in the class in one semester. When the test scores are perfect. My family treats me in a free-range way and rarely urges me to do anything, but I consciously know when I should study, take a bath, go to bed, drink water when I am thirsty, and rest when I am tired. Open a book and devote yourself to reading. At that time, I was very comfortable in controlling my body, and I also believed that my patience would pay off.
　　Until the appearance of the mobile phone, it gave me a “pacifier”, and I was forced into the baby’s shell, playing one of the most popular self-paralyzed games now. I lost my self-confidence, lost the habit of self-examination, my mobility deteriorated, my imagination deteriorated, and my brain was not as good as before. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable suddenly, but when I see people around me laughing and lying on the “baby carriage” with “pacifiers” in their mouths, I begin to assume that all this is normal, and I gradually get used to it.
　　Wang Xiaobo said that at the age of 21, he felt that nothing could beat him, and he would continue to be vigorous. And after I entered university at the age of 18, I experienced a slow process of being hammered, doing what people in their 70s and 80s are doing. Later, I wanted to change, I downloaded various software, collected countless posts, and wanted to become better, but I found that year after year, I was still so incompetent.
　　During the epidemic, I gained 10 pounds, and I went out to play with friends, and felt the pressure of my peers. I couldn’t sleep after returning home.
　　After insomnia, I decided to lose weight. I didn’t read any posts or suggestions about weight loss. I went to the park for running and stretching at 2 pm every day. I persisted for a month and a half, and gradually lost weight. three.
　　I didn’t bring my mobile phone to listen to music or check in with my mobile phone during exercise. I just wore a wristband and wrote down the day’s weight and target mileage on the scratch paper every day. I went for a run with a water bottle, and recorded it again when I came back.
　　In the second winter vacation, I started to read books, put my phone next to me, and didn’t set goals for myself, suggesting that I could just keep reading. I read 7 books in a month and a half. But at this time, I still use the mobile APP to record the clock-in, add a book with a leather cover, and record my habits and mood every day… I only persisted in this process for 4 months, yes, I started playing with my mobile phone again… I really realized that the phone was playing me.
　　Over the years, I have fought countless battles with electronic products, and I have almost never won. Until I uninstalled the exquisite efficiency software in the mobile phone, uninstalled the dating software where I could not find a confidant, and returned to the simplest paper notebook and pen, my heart was joyful and peaceful.
　　I realize that I am old-fashioned and prefer to write and read on paper; I realize that I don’t like makeup and forcing myself to lose weight; Need to prove to anyone who I am, because I am who I am.
　　When I let go of these values ​​that the outside world forcibly brainwashed me, I really got “freedom”. The moment I put down the phone, I tasted the feeling that nothing can beat me that I should have.