Half of the marriage is the best model
What is the best model for marriage? Many people think that 1+1≥2, two people together should have more gains. This model looks perfect, but in real life, it is often difficult to maintain this model.
My friend Xiaorong is a person who loves sports. He likes to go hiking on weekends, and he is a person who loves to be lively. And Afang is lazy and homely, usually likes to play games at home, and is a person who loves to be alone. Such two people with completely different hobbies and personalities not only got married, but also lived happily ever after for 7 years.
It turned out that at the beginning, they also had troubles: every time Xiaorong proposed to climb the mountain, A Fang either refused or reluctantly accepted, and then complained all the way, and finally broke up. Xiao Rong thinks that A Fang is a waste of time playing games, and she is left out in the cold, and asks A Fang to quit playing games. A Fang thinks that playing games is the best way for him to relax. The two of them often quarreled over these trivial matters, and then had a cold war.
Then one day, Afang offered to climb the mountain. Along the way, Xiao Rong saw that A Fang was sweating profusely and out of breath, but he was still trying to talk and laugh with her. Xiao Rong’s nose was a little sore. From then on, Xiao Rong no longer forced A Fang to quit playing games, and every time A Fang was playing games, Xiao Rong would sit beside him and watch dramas.
Marriage is not possession, but union. Regarding the model of married life, Bo Yang said long ago: “Married people live with their eyes half-open and half-closed. There are no perfect men and women in the world. If you keep your eyes open for too long, or use a magic mirror for too long, I’m afraid Even the gods can find faults.” This means that two people must know how to respect each other, accept each other as they are, learn to seek common ground while reserving differences, and accept each other, instead of trying to change each other and interfere with each other’s freedom.
Therefore, in marriage, subtraction rather than addition should be done. What we need is not a 1+1 marriage, but 0.5+0.5, that is, two people are willing to cut some edge for each other, abandon some principles, change themselves from 1 to 0.5, to tolerate and accept each other’s 0.5, and then form together A new 1, this is the best model for marriage.