Life

Tips for Surviving a Marital Crisis

  After marrying Daming, our life has been very happy, but since I became pregnant, I have anxiety. Originally, I had a cleanliness addiction, but with the impact of the epidemic, I cleaned my house like clockwork every day.
   Daming would always say to me in a caring but somewhat incomprehensible tone: “My wife, our house is clean enough, and you are still pregnant with a baby. I really can’t bear to see you busy all the time. Just eat and drink at home.” Well, it’s enough to take care of your health, and you really don’t need to care about the rest.” I got angry when I heard this, and said to him: “It’s fine if you don’t help, and you still say these discouraging words. The epidemic is serious now, even if the house looks clean. , but the virus is still pervasive, and disinfection work must be done every day!” Daming hesitated to speak, and could only silently stand up from the sofa, and then cleaned with me. Later, the child was born. In order to reduce our burden, the mother-in-law came to help us look after the child. In addition to taking care of me and the children, she is also busy with other housework every day, which is really hard. But I still made a request to my mother-in-law: the child’s clothes must be ironed after washing, and then put in the disinfection cabinet for disinfection.
   Once or twice is enough. After a long time, Daming began to complain, thinking that I was too hypocritical and serious. Fortunately, my mother-in-law was reasonable and not angry with me. Later, Daming worked more and more overtime at the unit, and he competed for business trips whenever the unit had opportunities. But I didn’t realize that our marriage was on red light.
   In the spring of 2021, Daming’s work unit had the opportunity to buy a welfare housing, and he signed up immediately. The mother-in-law also gave support in action, directly withdrawing 200,000 yuan from her pension to Daming. If it was before, when my mother-in-law paid so much money to buy a house, I would have been overjoyed, but this time I couldn’t laugh, and I was even a little uneasy.
   Because it was an existing house bought by the unit, after simple decoration, Daming actually moved there alone. I think the reason why Daming has this opportunity to move out is inseparable from the help of her mother-in-law. Therefore, during that time, I felt resentful and ignored my mother-in-law.
   One night, after putting the child to bed, I sat in the living room in a daze: When Daming was at home, although he would mess up his clothes and shoes, it made me feel at home. Although the house is clean and tidy now, there is less smoke and fire.
   At some point, my mother-in-law sat beside me. I immediately got up and went back to the bedroom. The mother-in-law smiled and said, “Are you angry with me? I gave Daming 200,000 yuan to buy a house. Do you think I made it possible for Daming to move out?” I said angrily, “You can still laugh, Daming Now we are moving out, and the next step is probably divorce, will you be satisfied by then?” After speaking, my tears flowed out unsatisfactorily. My mother-in-law patted my shoulder lightly and said: “Silly girl, seeing you today, I feel like I saw me 30 years ago. At that time, I was one of the best hardworking girls in the village. It’s one person working as an envoy for several people. I feel that I will never run out of energy, and I think about how to keep the house clean and tidy every day. That year, your father-in-law was transferred to work in the county because of his excellent work, and the time he went home was changed. Once a week. Every time he came home and just wanted to say a few words to me, I quickly got up and went to do housework. I want him to know that I am a diligent and capable woman. I can still tidy up the house when he is away. Well organized. But I didn’t know, I was pushing him out of our home step by step. It wasn’t until your father-in-law and I divorced that I realized that my diligence had become a stumbling block to our marriage.” I suddenly felt that
   once My mother-in-law is so much like me now. I said aggrievedly: “Mom, no matter what, it is true that Daming is moving out now. If you don’t give him money, how can he afford the welfare housing of the unit!” The mother-in-law laughed and said: “You Do you think that Daming’s work unit really has any welfare housing? In fact, Daming lived in the dormitory of the work unit during this period, and he just wanted to be calm. He told me about this matter the other day, and I disagreed at first, but he hoped that I would cooperate with him in acting. This play. Don’t think that Daming and I are teaming up to deceive you. In fact, we both love you. He loves your hard work, and I feel sorry for what you have done for this family.” After listening to my mother-in-law,
   I The tears flowed down uncontrollably: “Mom, thank you. In fact, during this period of time, I also realized that there was something wrong with my marriage with Daming. But as the person involved, I couldn’t find the crux of the problem. If it weren’t for your marriage Time came to help me and Daming take care of the children, and found out the problem in time, maybe we are really going to break up!” “Silly boy, just talk stupid things, how can I let you break up when I’m here? You all have to be careful Yes, that’s what I want to see the most.”
   The next day, Daming moved back from his work unit. He smiled and apologized to me: “I’m sorry, my mother and I performed an oboe together this time. I have witnessed the failure of my parents’ marriage, so I don’t want us to follow their old ways.” The mother-in-law standing aside,
   pulled Holding our hands, I said emotionally: “I hope that after going through this incident, both of you can truly understand that home is a place where people can stay comfortably and relax completely, and don’t need to be too particular about everything. A warm and happy home , is what we should care about and pursue most.” At this moment, I really feel so happy. My mother-in-law used her own life experience to teach me an important lesson for my marriage with Daming.

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