There is no doubt that parents love their children.
But the way parents love their children often leads to misunderstanding and separation.
A good word is warm in three winters, but a bad word hurts others and it is cold in June.
Family affection is the most capable of warming people’s hearts, and it is also the most capable of hurting people’s hearts.
Children love their parents unconditionally, all their lives, without reservation. Parents are critical of their children.
Not necessarily intentionally, but could have an eternal effect on them.
Regardless of the reason, do not say these two sentences to your children. As a parent, you must be vigilant.
01: “You thought you were…”
Living in the secular world, it is inevitable that we will compare ourselves with others, no matter others or ourselves. Sadly, in any group, there will always be someone better than us.
The existence of this person makes us admire and fear.
We admire their excellence from the bottom of our hearts, and for a moment, we feel deeply inferior.
When we were children, we couldn’t help sharing with our parents that we met such a person, and a seed of comparison was planted in the hearts of our parents.
So every exam and every activity, parents will inadvertently ask about this person, and we will turn from excitement to panic.
“You thought you were…”
When a child wants to do something that is impossible in the parents’ cognition, the parents will accidentally say this sentence when their emotions explode.
The child will be shocked, will be sad, and will have a more complete denial of himself: “I don’t deserve it.”
The lethality of this sentence is devastating, and the impact will last the child’s life.
Will a person who often denies himself and feels uneasy get calm happiness? Will you enjoy the heartfelt joy? Even if you can’t accept An Ning calmly, how can you have the courage to overcome the wind and rain?
Please never tell your kids if you don’t mean to.
02: “What a big deal!”
We have to admit that everyone has obstacles that they cannot overcome. In the face of some things, we just can’t develop a brave heart, and we don’t have the strength to get ourselves out of the predicament.
And those things can always be done by someone.
In their eyes, they are like a drop in the bucket, really not worth mentioning; in our hearts, they are the top of Mount Tai, and their survival is a fluke.
“What a big deal!”
It is a ridicule from those who have experienced it to those who have not experienced it.
Unrelated people say, children will refute; parents say, children will not argue.
Children’s seeking help, complaints, anger, and sadness have nothing to do with right or wrong, but only for comfort. All the emotions turned into a puddle of disappointed stagnant water in an instant, and there were no more ripples.
Many parents wonder why the older their children are, the less willing they are to share their experiences with their parents?
Because of that sentence “What a big deal!”, it was the parents who locked the child’s heart with their own hands.
You don’t have to empathize with them, as long as you are willing to listen to their voices, give constructive opinions, or even just say “Thanks for your hard work”.
It is the compassion of parents not to add insult to injury to helpless children.
Sometimes I really feel that children love their parents without complaint or regret, and parents usually have many conditions to love their children.
You may not mean what you say, but the intention of others’ listeners is also caused by your negligence.
Being misunderstood is not the fate of the expresser, and not looking at people with prejudice is the way to break through this fate.
Home is the last safe haven, the only place for children who are tired from traveling.
Don’t let the home become another battlefield for children, as long as the parents are considerate, it can be done.