If you’ve never heard of “toxic positivity,” you’re not alone, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t experienced it yourself. One thing worth mentioning here is that – you may have adopted toxic positive practices at one time. But you don’t have to feel bad about it, the fact is that toxic positivity has permeated every corner of society, and anyone can probably remember doing something similar at some point.
Definition of Toxic Positive
Toxic positive emphasizes that no matter how bad the situation is, it is necessary to maintain an optimistic attitude. Toxic Positivity believes that negative emotions are weaknesses, so negative thoughts and emotions should be suppressed and positive thinking should be maintained. Positiveness is good, but not so good when it negates or devalues real emotions.
Think of your emotions as a kind of movement. Of course you know that slumping on the sofa all day is not good for your health, but conversely, extreme sports also have their disadvantages. If someone pushes you to get up and exercise, instead of magically loving it, you’ll feel worse and even feel guilty about your lazy lifestyle.
There are so many emotions in people that it is unbelievable, but no one emotion is superior to others, and each emotion has its status and reason for existence. For example, when we are frightened, we activate the “fight or flight” response, which is a life-or-death emotion. Another example is when we get angry, it may be because someone hurt us.
Think about the past twenty-four or forty-eight hours, how many times have people asked you, “How are you?” and you were actually feeling bad, and you replied, “I’m fine” or “Not bad, thanks”? That’s toxic positivity, you don’t want to tell your truth because we’re all expected to radiate positivity.
What are the signs of a toxic positive?
Toxic positivity comes in many forms and can come from within you or from others. Here are some of the most common positive signs of toxicity in everyday life:
● You hide your feelings, or hide them from others
● You ignore your feelings and adopt a “just do it” attitude
● Whether happy or sad, your emotions make you feel guilty
● You lack empathy, you can only speak inspirational quotes, but you can’t listen to others
● You see things objectively but suppress your own pain or the pain of others
● You reprimand someone for having negative emotions, calling him a “negative ghost” or something like that
● Others shame you for having negative emotions
● You ignore the problem
● When facing challenges, you repeatedly quote the famous saying of “optimism”
Let’s take a look at some oft-heard insights or advice to learn more about how pervasive toxic positivity is in our lives:
● Just stay positive
● look out
● There are worse things to come
● Where there is no wind, there is no wave
● Happiness is your choice
● Standing under the theater for a long time is yours
● Think more about happy things
● You can definitely overcome
● Never give up
● Overwhelmed, it is useless to regret
● Don’t be so negative
● Don’t worry, be happy
● cheer up
We hear these words so often, you may not imagine how they can hurt yourself, but these words are indeed incredibly lethal. If happiness is a choice, it implies that we choose to be sad and depressed. Making a resolution is fine, but if we adopt a never-give-up attitude, we can waste time on solutions that simply don’t work; giving up doesn’t mean abandoning a goal—it’s finding a more effective way to get there.
How to Replace Toxic Positive Motivational Quotes
It’s always easier to show positivity than to deal with what’s really going on inside. Therefore, if we don’t say those common inspirational words when comforting others or ourselves, we will become unable to speak.
If you don’t mention those commonplaces, what can you say? How can we put it another way; if someone is in the habit of saying these things to you, you can also explain to him what you need to hear.
● Look away—whatever you need, I will be there for you
● There are worse things to come – it’s horrible and I’m so sad you had to or are going through this
● Where there is no wind, there is no wave──Sometimes, life is unavoidably frustrating, how can I support you?
● Happiness is your choice – choose to be your true self and express all your emotions
● Standing under the booth for a long time is yours—what can I do to help you achieve your goal?
● Think about happy things──I will be by your side no matter good or bad
● You will be able to overcome──you are going through difficulties, but you are very strong, and you will be able to gradually get out of the predicament
● Never give up – maybe you don’t need to give up, just rethink your strategy
● It’s hard to get over the water, and it’s useless to regret it──This situation is not easy, how can I help you?
● Don’t be so negative – it’s okay if you can’t stay positive all the time
● Don’t worry, be happy──I feel that you are worried about something, do you want to talk?
● cheer up – you can talk to me about your troubles, I would love to listen
Here’s a tip for you: Remind yourself and others that pain is part of the human experience.
No one can go through life without experiencing some form of pain, and the unmanageable negative emotions that accompany it. Having negativity doesn’t make a person less positive, it actually makes a person more whole. Think of yourself as two halves, one positive and one negative. If you only live with one half of your life, you will miss out on the experience and growth you gain from the other half.
When you accept both halves of your life, you can appreciate your emotions, relationships, and life experiences on a whole new level.