Life

The Joys of a Gap Day for Middle-Aged Women with Children

How good is a woman when her husband and kids are away? All I can say is, beyond your imagination!

Two days ago, my dad attended a class reunion and was away from home all day. In the evening, I made a video call to my mother and interviewed this lady who had been alone all day. How did she feel?

My mother couldn’t hide the smile on her face while gnawing on a cucumber: I took a walk in the morning, and I lay on the bed in the afternoon and watched dramas all afternoon. What a great day.

As two women, my mother and I, a revolutionary friendship was finally established through the “partner and children are not at home to bother me”.

My father and my mother have a good relationship, the kind of friendship that even at the age when the sun is red, they will hold hands when going out; moreover, my father is not a machismo man, and he never acts as a shopkeeper for family affairs. He has cooked the meals at home all his life, and he is responsible for buying things (of course, my mother does the housework), and he has never yelled at my mother, let alone pornography, gambling, drugs and other bad habits. My mother was also the “big heroine” of her era, not only a woman who attached herself to her husband and returned to the family, she took care of her family and also made some achievements in her career.

Therefore, among my parents’ peers, the two of them are enviable companions.

The purpose of explaining these backgrounds is not to show off, but to say that even though we have been together for 40 years and have a marriage that seems to be pleasing to the eye, my mother—as a woman—still likes to be by herself.

Probably no matter how good a marriage is, after 40 years with one person, it is enough. In a marriage, because women’s time is more likely to be squeezed, it seems that their time alone is more precious.

Coincidentally, I chatted with a friend of my age in the past two days, and she told me that she has been looking forward to the arrival of July 25 recently. I asked her why? A friend said that her parents would take her daughter to live in Yuexi Mountain for a week that day, and her husband would go back to his hometown for a few days. She was the only one left in the huge family.

Just listening to my friend’s description, I can make a sound for her. Married women with children—whether they are middle-aged or sunset red sisters—the obsession with “being alone” is like a illegitimate meal, always looking around to see where to catch it.

When women reach middle age and have been married for many years, we have long since lost our sense of the phrase “I love you” and holiday gifts from our partner; the only thing that can make us blush and heartbeat is the phrase “I will bring the child” said by our partner What makes our blood boil even more is when our partner says “I’ll take the kids out” with pride.

The true meaning of “if it is for freedom, both can be discarded”, perhaps only married women with children can truly understand.

And on the long road of parenting, we no longer expect to have a lot of leisure time. We, middle-aged women with children, are very grateful to have a real gap day.

Gap day, is a term created by netizens themselves after gap year has been popular in Europe and America for many years. Compared with the grand gap year that can “do nothing” for a whole year, gap day is a bit humble. It doesn’t have such a big ambition, but just hopes to squeeze out a day or two in the busy life to completely empty yourself.

Some people may ask, can’t the rest days and holidays be empty or rotten? Why do you have to play a gap day. Mothers all know that rest days and holidays belong to others, and we can only continue to work overtime for our children—more tiring than going to work.

Some netizens “despise” the birth of gap day, thinking that it is the product of some people’s self-deception. People nowadays have a concept that as long as one’s time is not used for studying and working to make money, it is wasted or rotten. But why can’t we just “play bad” with peace of mind? Do you have to create a new word so that your rest behavior is not defined by your own value system as a bad thing before you dare to idle and lie down?

Isn’t it contradictory to let yourself be caught up in life and death, and at the same time keep making up new words to rationalize your relaxing and leisure behavior?

I very much agree with the analysis of netizens. Everyone really doesn’t want to roll, but as a member of the “grand narrative”, many people can’t break free from this whirlpool, so they are pushed to roll with their eyes closed; but as flesh and blood people, we really resist. Therefore, I had no choice but to “inscribe new words” and come up with a “speaking technique”, which can be regarded as tearing a small gap in the world of life and death, so that I can take a short breath.

But recognition is recognition, but I can’t take care of “despising” gap day together. You must know that in the real world, middle-aged women with children are “unworthy” of such good things as “idle” and “bad”.

If you want to have a gap day that allows you to truly relax from head to toe, from body to soul, you need to meet the following four conditions: not having to go to work, not being around your children, not being around your husband, and doing housework and cooking to keep your life running normally You don’t need to take care of the chores – not only you don’t have to do it, but you don’t even have to think about it in your heart.

Once the above four conditions are listed, middle-aged women with children who want to have a perfect gap day are almost “annihilated”. We don’t have the good fortune of enjoying gap day.

People who don’t know it may say, it’s because you love to worry, with your eyes closed and your heart swayed, who can disturb you?

Let me tell you a real incident that women always miss and cannot love. One day, a mother finally ushered in a rare rest day. Her work was finished ahead of schedule, and her husband went out with the children. She finally had a day to enjoy her quiet time to the fullest.

The mother’s plan is to finish her breakfast and clean herself up, then lie on the sofa in the most comfortable position with her ipad in her arms, and finish watching the TV series she has coveted for a long time while eating snacks. She also wants to order takeaways and drinks that she wants to achieve both mental and physical pleasure.

After opening the iPad, she found a new email. I clicked on it and saw that it was sent by the coach of the children’s football training team. The game time was updated. The mother replied to the email and had to reschedule the plan for next weekend.

Not long after, she received another text message from the summer camp requesting to upload the latest medical examination form and the doctor’s permission to participate. The sooner the request, the better. And there is also a text message from the child’s dental clinic, reminding you to make an appointment for tooth cleaning, and to send an email to confirm, and to fill in insurance and other related documents in advance.

So the mom whirlwinded through the football team, summer camp and the dentist’s office and was finally able to lie flat.

But while watching the drama, she received two more deliveries – both necessities for the children and household daily necessities supplies. After receiving the deliveries, she put the things in order; two calls from her partner —Ask where the kids put their sunscreen, and remind you that the property management company is coming to check the smoke alarm in the room.

During the few hours of “rest”, she half-heartedly watched the drama and dealt with these chores in a distracted manner. Suddenly, the door of the house was opened! It turned out that my husband came back early with the children in the afternoon. Because the other place they planned to go to for maintenance was not open, so they “returned with feathers”.

They were disappointed, but nothing compared to this mother’s despair.

You see, is it because we can’t be ruthless, can’t close our eyes and don’t want to show off? It’s because the gap day after becoming a mother is full of gaps, making people feel hopeless.

No wonder after I became a mother, when I heard someone complaining to me about the tiredness of work and the hardships of life, I just wanted to make a big statement to the other party: life is suffering? Hard work? Is it too hard to get married and have a baby?

So, cherish the good days when you can have a gap day. For middle-aged people with children, there is a gap hour when they open their eyes, which is the strength of the pocketbook, luck, finding a reliable husband, or giving birth to a worry-free baby with strong genes. Three choices A short-lived beauty in exchange for one talent.

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