The Polish writer Lemont said:
“Everything is in order, and if there is no order, things will go wrong.”
In life, the more tossing some families, the more difficult the life, the more struggling, the more bleak the life.
In the final analysis, it is the wrong order and the wrong life.
Learn to sort out the order, and the family will prosper.
Out of sequence: Work comes first, kids second.
In “The First Lesson of School”, there is a passage that impressed me deeply:
“When educating children, you choose to make money instead of disciplining children.
When the child grows up, the money you have worked so hard to earn all your life will not be worth his prodigal year. ”
Parents who are absent from their children’s growth path will pay a heavy price in the end.
Writer Su Xin knew a couple. The two jointly ran a company with tens of millions of assets and lived a life that outsiders envied.
But every family has scriptures that are difficult to recite. When it comes to children, the couple are helpless.
When the son was young, in order not to affect their work, the couple bought a game console for the child and let him play on the sidelines.
After the child grew up a little, the couple was busy expanding the company’s business, so they simply sent their son to a boarding school.
Due to the lack of proper restraint and discipline since childhood, the child became addicted to playing games and dropped out of school at the age of thirteen.
They acted both hard and soft, and they made a lot of reasons. The child said, “You didn’t care about me when you were young, why do you care about me now”, which made them speechless.
A famous person said:
“No matter how successful a person is in his career, it cannot make up for his failure in educating his children.”
Educating your children well is not only a matter for teachers, but also the most important career in your life.
Educator Liu Yong has a son and a daughter. His son Liu Xuan is a doctor of Harvard University, and his daughter Liu Yifan was admitted to Columbia University’s Journalism Department at the age of 14 with the first place.
Talking about parenting experience, Liu Yong said bluntly:
“The most important thing in family education is companionship. From childhood to adolescence, we must accompany children to share happy times, laugh and grow together with them.”
Even if he is very busy at work, Liu Yong will find time to spend as much time with his children as possible.
In order to cultivate his son’s independence, he took his son to play in the wild, planted vegetables together, and let him do physical work.
In order to cultivate the children’s resistance to frustration, he played long jump, running, pitching and other sports with the children, and stipulated that they were not allowed to cry or get angry when they lost.
When his daughter practiced the violin, he held the score as a music stand;
In order to cultivate his daughter’s interest in learning, he took her daughter to do scientific experiments together…
Accompanied by their father, the two children have developed independent, optimistic, and confident personalities since childhood.
Psychology professor Gilbert said:
“Ten years from now, you won’t regret not doing one less project, but you will regret not spending an extra hour with your child.”
There is no ticket that must be earned, and there is no dinner that must be attended, only children who grow up suddenly.
Regrets at work can be made up, money can be earned slowly, but children have only one chance to educate.
In the matter of educating children, if the order is reversed, the family will be shaken.
Out of sequence: be kind to outsiders, lose temper with family members.
Writer Zhang Defen has a reader, Huihui, whose husband is a typical “two-faced person”.
He left the most gentlemanly side to outsiders, and the worst side to his family.
In front of outsiders, he is polite, friendly and enthusiastic.
The classmate was in urgent need of money, so he transferred the money immediately without saying a word, and he didn’t even need to issue an IOU.
When his friend was catching a plane late at night, he put on a coat and hurried out to see him off.
At home, he was moody, like a walking powder keg.
He yelled at her when she forgot to wash the shirts he was going to wear the next day and threw them on the floor.
If the child makes a mistake in homework, he will lose patience and slap the table, grab the child’s ear and curse loudly.
His irritable personality caused the children to be afraid of him since they were young, and Huihui herself was also chilled, and the whole family was about to fall apart.
Zhang Defen said:
“Many people rely on the unconditional love of their families to do whatever they want, but when the damage has accumulated enough, no matter how good-tempered the person is, they will leave without looking back.”
Talking too much, criticizing too much, and accusing too much will make anyone feel uncomfortable, let alone family members.
Get over your temper and be nice to your family.
Brand manager Lu Yongfeng was overloaded with work every day in the early days of his business.
He is responsible for selecting products, holding meetings, formulating marketing plans, and participating in various entertainments.
No matter how stressful he is at work, he never puts on a face at home.
When the pressure is too great to relieve, he will sit quietly in the car for a few minutes, wait for his emotions to calm down, and then go home with a smile on his face.
Lu Yongfeng said:
“Home is a nest of love and warmth. The dust on the soles of your feet should be left outside the house, as should the dust in your heart.”
Home is a place of love, not a dumping ground for emotions.
Don’t turn your life upside down, don’t be polite to outsiders, and don’t give up on your family.
Wrong sequence: care about small things, confused about big things.
Psychologist Liu Hesu found after interviewing 100 families:
The attitude of a family to deal with things directly determines the happiness of the family.
A happy family never quarrels over trivial matters and turns a blind eye to each other.
But when it comes to major issues, they are not sloppy at all, they will solicit multiple opinions and make reasonable decisions.
Unfortunate families often put the cart before the horse, entangle in small matters, be confused about major matters, and make decisions with a slap in the face, resulting in the loss of many opportunities for the family.
Such a family will fall into a vicious cycle. The poorer you are, the more you care about, and the more you care about, the more estrangement will arise. If there is estrangement, the family will naturally not be harmonious.
The blogger shared his personal growth experience.
As long as he can remember, his parents have often quarreled over trivial matters.
If the vegetables my father buys are expensive, or if I lose tens of dollars playing cards, my mother will scold me in various ways when I go home.
The mother’s food was not to the taste, and the father muttered while eating, which made the mother look unhappy.
What bothered him the most was the short-sightedness shown by his parents when facing his education.
After graduating from junior high school, he was admitted to the best high school in the city, but his parents insisted on letting him study in the county seat.
Because the county fee is lower and the cost is less.
The college entrance examination score is very high, he wants to learn computer.
But his parents thought that only entering the system would be a good job, so they forced him to apply for a teacher training major.
And those of his classmates who studied computer went to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen after graduation to catch up with the trend of the Internet, and some of them have assets of tens of millions.
Facing his parents, he felt somewhat resentful in his heart. He said:
“The road of life seems to be long, but in fact the most critical steps are only a few steps.
In some key choices, my family is just preoccupied with small things and confused about big things.
As a result, my parents were unable to provide correct advice on some of my key choices, and even became resistance. ”
The structure of the family determines the direction of a family.
In a family, don’t take trivial things seriously, but be sober about the most important things.
Don’t be confused about big things, don’t care about small things, distinguish right from wrong and tolerate each other, this is what a family should look like.
I remember a writer who said:
“When the day goes by in reverse, it makes people restless.
Let your life go smoothly first, and good luck will come naturally. ”
No matter when, don’t turn your life upside down.
Always remember: Children’s education is more important than temporary gains and losses. Always put family members first, and don’t be confused about small things.