The Power of Listening: How to Communicate Effectively and Build Strong Relationships
Have you ever encountered such an occurrence?
An event has caused a misinterpretation among your acquaintances, and you desire to elucidate it in person. However, before you can utter a few words, your companion chastises you, asserting that your perspective is erroneous and unacceptable. In that moment, all the words you had contemplated are swallowed into the depths of your being, and you no longer wish to utter a single syllable. Subsequently, you gradually drift apart from this companion, and your once intimate bond disintegrates.
At your workplace, you have been treated unjustly, and you yearn for your superiors to lend an ear to your grievances. However, your boss either dismisses the notion of listening altogether or, even before you express your thoughts, diverts attention elsewhere and engages in a perfunctory conversation with you. In an instant, your hopes transform into disillusionment. From that point forward, your perception of this boss diminishes significantly, and you no longer harbor genuine and heartfelt sentiments towards them.
Such experiences also bring to mind two narratives I encountered on WeChat Moments.
In one instance, a young mother, seeking to validate the effectiveness of her nurturing, joyfully presented two apples to her young son, wondering whether he would offer one to her. Regrettably, upon receiving the apples, the son, without even acknowledging his mother, took a bite from one. This act of selfishness and greed saddened the young mother, who was prepared to reprimand her son. Unexpectedly, at that moment, the son uttered in a tender voice, ‘Mom, you have this apple. I have already tasted it, and it is not sour!’ Tears welled up in the mother’s eyes, and she suddenly realized that she had prematurely reached a conclusion about her child without affording him the opportunity to express himself.
Another tale revolves around international star Dave Carroll, who embarked on a concert tour abroad, only to find his guitar damaged during air transportation. He lodged complaints with United Airlines’ service departments in Chicago, New York, Canada, and even India. Alas, these departments merely engaged in evasive maneuvers and failed to take his grievances seriously. They regarded his complaint as an inconsequential matter blown out of proportion. Carroll, distraught by the situation, composed a video song titled ‘United Broke My Beloved Guitar,’ showcasing the guitar’s damage and his entire complaint ordeal. Astonishingly, the song garnered over 5 million views on the internet, causing United Airlines’ stock to plummet by 10% within a few days, resulting in a colossal loss of up to 180 million US dollars. ‘All I wanted was for someone at United Airlines to acknowledge my dissatisfaction and offer an apology,’ Carroll expressed his resolute stance on lodging a complaint against the airline.
Experiences and anecdotes of this nature naturally prompt one to contemplate the significance of patiently awaiting the conclusion of others’ speech. Moreover, they underscore the notion that although listening is a seemingly simple act, it constitutes a fundamental display of respect for others and serves as the most direct, economical, effective, and practical means of fostering amicability—a ‘golden key’ to unlock the most efficacious form of interpersonal communication. To a certain extent, listening equates to humility, composure, tolerance, erudition, equality, comprehension, sagacity, tranquility, maturity, connection, and refinement. An individual who habitually listens leaves a favorable impression on others. However, if one fails to engage in attentive listening, they are prone to ‘lose the forest for the trees,’ thereby risking unexpected embarrassment or loss and, at the very least, leaving behind an impression of rudeness and disrespect.
Indeed, listening is the simplest of acts. When someone directs their words toward you, it behooves you to exhibit patience, lend your ears, wear a smile, gaze into their eyes, and nod approvingly when you find resonance within yourself. When your views diverge from theirs, you should not hasten to refute or express dissent, but rather await the completion of their discourse. These behaviors are within the grasp of any reasonably sound-minded individual, provided they are not afflicted with blindness or deafness.
In the realm of interpersonal communication, listening and speaking constitute two integral components, with listening being considerably simpler and more effortless than speaking. Yet, in reality, there always exist individuals who hasten to voice their opinions, rarely comprehending the necessity of attentive listening prior to speaking. Some individuals are perpetually restless, lacking the patience to listen attentively to others. They avert their gaze, display absentmindedness, or hastily interject before the speaker concludes their thoughts. They reprimand from a position of authority, dictating how things should be done, without assuming the role of a receptive listener. Additionally, certain individuals simply disregard listening altogether when others are speaking. Often, when someone speaks with enthusiasm, they incessantly interrupt, causing the conversation to become disorganized or stray from its intended topic. Moreover, regardless of the occasion, they invariably strive to assume thedominant role in every conversation, belittling the perspectives and experiences of others.
Such behaviors not only hinder effective communication but also strain relationships and hinder personal growth. When we fail to listen attentively, we miss out on valuable insights, alternative perspectives, and the opportunity to truly understand others. This leads to misunderstandings, conflicts, and missed opportunities for connection and collaboration.
On the other hand, when we practice active listening, we create an environment where others feel valued, respected, and understood. Active listening involves giving our full attention to the speaker, maintaining eye contact, and responding appropriately to show that we are engaged and interested. It also includes paraphrasing and summarizing the speaker’s points to ensure comprehension and to clarify any potential misunderstandings.
By becoming better listeners, we can cultivate stronger relationships, build trust, and foster empathy. We can learn from diverse viewpoints, expand our knowledge, and develop a deeper understanding of the world around us. Additionally, active listening allows us to make more informed decisions, collaborate effectively, and resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.
In conclusion, listening is a powerful tool in interpersonal communication. It requires patience, humility, and a genuine desire to understand others. By actively listening, we can create harmonious relationships, foster mutual respect, and promote meaningful dialogue. So let us strive to be attentive listeners, allowing others the space to express themselves fully, and in doing so, we can strengthen our connections and enrich our lives.
There is a saying in “Historical Records”: “If you can listen to the words, the Tao will advance.” From ancient times to the present, those who are good at listening, brainstorming, learning from others’ strengths, and doing good deeds are not only widely respected and praised, but also always achieve success in their careers. Duke Huan of Qi obeyed Guan Zhong’s reasonable suggestions, which helped Qi achieve great governance and become the first overlord in the Spring and Autumn Period. Liu Bang listened to Zhang Liang in terms of strategy, Xiao He in domestic affairs, and Han Xin in terms of military use. As a result, Liu Bang transformed from a reckless hero to the founding emperor of the Han Dynasty. Li Shimin, Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty, opened up his mind and accepted advice with an open mind. He listened to and absorbed the advice of the virtuous minister Wei Zheng, “Water can carry a boat, but it can also capsize it.” This resulted in the “Government of Zhenguan” that brought political clarity, economic recovery, and cultural prosperity in the early years of the Tang Dynasty. “. One of the important reasons why Mao Zedong, a great man of a generation, was able to lead the party and the people’s army to overthrow the “three mountains” of imperialism, feudalism and bureaucratic capitalism that were weighing on the Chinese nation and establish a new People’s Republic of China is also one of the important reasons. He is good at listening to opinions from all sides, good at recruiting more supporters and fewer opponents, and good at building a patriotic united front. Xi Jinping, the leader of the Chinese people in the new era, every time he inspects the grassroots, he either sits around with the grassroots people, or goes into the homes of ordinary people, shares a hot bed with them, sits on the same bench with them, and pays special attention to listening to the people while greeting them. the sound of.
Carnegie said: A pair of clever ears is better than ten eloquent mouths. When God created man, why did he give us one mouth but two ears? This is to warn and remind humans to speak less and listen more. In life, knowing how to listen is actually much more important than knowing how to speak. Because only by listening more and speaking less will we gain more respect, gain more information, get more friends, win more support, and accumulate more strength, which will allow us to understand the world better. More accurate, and a more accurate grasp of the course of life.
In this world, whether it is to parents, partners, friends, superiors, subordinates, colleagues, elders or juniors, even strangers, enemies, or everything in nature, we must be good at listening. It is the basic form of respect, the beginning of friendship, and the way to know oneself and the enemy. It helps the growth of wisdom, the accuracy of decision-making, and the good, the good, the upward, and the beauty.
