“Matrimony” has perpetually been a hallowed noun. Men and women opt to unite in wedlock and embark upon a “novel phase” of existence due to their profound affection and yearning to establish a family and steer their lives. Subsequent to the nuptials, both parties ultimately embrace each other wholeheartedly and traverse their future blissfully.
However, time wields an immensely puissant force. Within the context of time, all maleficent occurrences gradually manifest and amplify. Two individuals who were once enamored will eventually erode each other’s sentiments owing to sundry reasons. Ultimately leading to the cessation of the matrimony. Numerous factors precipitate the disintegration of a conjugal union. The simplest one being “amorous estrangement.” All past experiences metamorphose into indelible yet repugnant splotches of mosquito blood on the wall, rendering separation as the optimal recourse.
01: The multifarious facets of human nature veiled by the illusion of love
Countless young individuals opt for a “transient matrimony and subsequent divorce” owing to their failure to ascertain their sentiments for each other and their capacity to mutually support one another along their future odyssey. Once wedded and cohabitating, they discover that their partner is far removed from their idealized perception.
They inflict torment and anguish upon each other, ultimately finding themselves bereft of alternatives but to escape. The more pragmatic scenario involves one of the spouses succumbing to their own inherent vices and betraying their partner and the marital bond, culminating in the unraveling of the relationship and the pursuit of divorce.
Xiao A, a woman who experienced divorce and has spent three years singlehandedly raising her child, shared her tale. Three years ago, she unveiled her ex-husband’s infidelity, as she had diligently dedicated herself to domestic duties since their nuptials.
Their daughter is currently two years old. They never anticipated that her ex-husband would seek solace outside their union, compelling Xiao A to impulsively choose divorce. The process of divorce transpired amicably. The few shared assets were divided, and upon gaining custody of their daughter, Xiao A found herself compelled to return to her parental abode and reside with them.
Over the course of three years, she managed part-time occupations and operated an online emporium, leading a relatively contented life. During this period, she encountered suitors who displayed no qualms about accepting her child. One of them provided substantial assistance over the past six months and expressed the inclination to marry her. Unexpectedly, her ex-husband employed the pretext of meeting their child to perpetually engineer encounters, expressing hopes of remarriage.
Xiao A experienced considerable inner turmoil, as her desire to provide her child with a complete household was fueled by the child’s biological father possessing an inherent advantage. Consequently, she contemplated the notion of “sacrificing her personal felicity for the sake of her child.”
Xiao A grapples with profound conflict. The prospect of a second marriage is conducive to personal well-being, yet it also holds potential benefits for her child. The decision-making process has become a source of anguish for Xiao A.
Is remarriage genuinely such an uncomplicated matter? It was three years later that Xiao A’s ex-husband approached her, expressing a desire to remarry. The underlying motivation behind this notion remains unknown.
An internet user who is a single mother underwent an analogous experience to Xiao A. Her husband engaged in infidelity when their child was one year old, prompting them to terminate their marital bond and pursue individual lives. However, shortly after the divorce, he approached her, proclaiming his “love” for her and their children.
Though the burdens of single-handedly raising a child are undeniably arduous, she comprehends that this matrimony is irrevocable. After all, if they genuinely loved each other, how could her husband betray her when their child was merely one year old? The current sweet-talking about remarriage merely stems from his wounded state in the extramarital affair, causing him to recollect her virtues and endeavor to rekindle their relationship. “After all, love exacts a toll, and matrimony necessitates offerings. To remarry me, all you require is your eloquence.”
02: Does forgiveness following infidelity invite trouble?
Many divorced women continue to harbor illusions about their ex-husbands, particularly those who endured infidelity and divorce. They perpetually cling to the notion that their husbands strayed solely due to external temptations and that they will undergo a transformative metamorphosis, leading to a blissful existence together.
The prodigal son never alters his nature, and even after navigating a convoluted path, he still professes love for you. It is merely that his circuitous journey was intended to cherry-pick the most favorable outcome. Should your ex-husband achieve prosperity subsequent to the divorce, with his life far superior to yours, will he approachyou to propose remarriage?
Hence, when a divorced woman faces her ex-husband’s entreaty for remarriage, she must maintain a discerning gaze and cogitate upon his motivations. Does he seek to rectify his past transgressions, realizing that he still harbors love for her and wishes to continue safeguarding her? Or is he driven solely by a lack of alternatives, viewing her as the most viable lifeline?
Remarriage should not be solely for the sake of children; it is crucially important for oneself. One’s life should not be shrouded in perpetual darkness, nor should one willingly plunge into a fiery pit for the sake of their children. A vibrant and independent single-parent family can also nurture exceptional children, for they are the blossoms that have blossomed under the nourishing sunshine of unconditional love.
Marriage is not the sole panacea in life, let alone remarriage. The world is replete with countless individuals, and an erroneous choice is not an insurmountable setback. Your soulmate may be awaiting you at the next crossroads.
What matters most is comprehending the reasons behind your divorce and remarriage, and making the choice that best aligns with your personal well-being and feasibility. Instead of perpetually repeating the same mistakes, one should opt for a life that is liberated from despondency and unfulfillment.