Finding Yourself After Divorce: A Story of Empowerment Through Self-Love

  Girlfriend R is divorced. That day, she and her ex-husband finished the formalities and had a drink with some of our close friends. The bustling tavern was full of fireworks, but it still couldn’t resist the sadness in R’s eyes.
   “Come, celebrate my return to being single.” After three glasses of wine, R raised his glass and shouted, with an awe-inspiring air of heroic sacrifice. Several of our best friends did not dare to speak and raised our glasses to congratulate him.
  We all know the story of R and her ex-husband. From campus to wedding to workplace, ten years of youthful love was wiped out effortlessly by an inconspicuous woman. R is unwilling to give in. Ever since she was a child, she has been the most eye-catching girl in the crowd. If I could only use one word to describe her, it would be excellent. Everything can be summed up, education, career, family background, perfect excellence. At one point, we, including R herself, thought that the betrayer could not be her ex-husband, who had everything so mediocre, because her perfect aura made it almost impossible to find flaws.
  ”He said that I was too busy and too focused on my career to take care of him and the children.” R murmured, expressing the doubts that all of us had.
  ”He said that woman likes to take care of housework, likes to cook, and likes children…”
  You see, all the scripts are exactly the same. If a man doesn’t love you anymore, everything is a flaw, even the things that attracted him the most at the beginning will now become the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
  ”Excuses, they are all excuses!” Little G almost yelled, “What a scumbag! Didn’t he say that he liked your progress at the beginning? If you didn’t work so hard, how could you be so good?” We nodded in agreement
  . If you can go to the hall, he will think that you are not good enough in the kitchen. If you can go to the hall and go to the kitchen, he will think that you are no longer as beautiful as a flower and have a hot body. If you don’t love, even breathing is despised.
  ”Did I really not do well enough?” R said quietly, lowering his head.
  Even when faced with injustice and grievance, some women always like to find reasons within themselves. If I were like this, if I were like that, would it be okay? Am I not doing well enough?
  _ , whispered: “He said he was depressed when he lived with me.” As she spoke, her eyes turned red and she drank a glass of wine. “So, I fulfilled his wish. I agreed to the divorce. I signed it and received the certificate.” It would be a
  lie to say that it doesn’t hurt. The human heart is made of flesh. After all, ten years of time can be easily erased by anyone? However, there is no need to complain that ten years of deep love cannot match the freshness. After living together for a long time, we are close. You like sweets, he likes salty, you leave the door open when going to the toilet, he snores when sleeping, you love shopping, he loves playing games… How can there be a couple who is compatible in everything? Those who can still live together are nothing more than adjustment, tolerance and tolerance. This is not mourning, but accepting reality.
  Not long ago, a male friend confided in me. He is a very talented man. He went through difficulties at the beginning of his business. He longed for his talent to be appreciated, and that’s when he met his wife. The little girl was considered his little crush at the time and showed appreciation and admiration in every aspect. A man who longed to be appreciated met a girl with starry eyes, hit it off immediately, and the two got married. However, seven years later, the man in front of me was complaining to me that his wife, who was a full-time housewife, was always around the children, and other than that, she tried every means to keep an eye on him. The two people under the same roof had nothing to say. , and even sleep in separate rooms. “I really don’t want to go home now. I just want to go on a business trip. No one can express my feelings to me. I feel very lonely.” This is his inner voice.
  It is true that every family has its own scriptures that are difficult to recite. Therefore, after being soaked in firewood, rice, oil and salt for a long time, both men and women actually long to be seen, understood, appreciated and accepted by each other.
  Think about the shining point that attracted each other in the first place. Is it still there now? Is it lost? Or has it been upgraded?
  It is said that the best relationship between the sexes is to fall in love with each other again and again. In different situations, at different ages, in the wash of time, you can still see each other again and again, and see the things that make you appreciate and make you The shining point of side glances, praising and accepting the other person from the heart, are far more lasting than the attraction of appearance and wealth.
  However, in these trivial days, we often forget these things, because they are too familiar. After sleeping in the same bed for so long, we know all about burping and farting. How can we still appreciate and admire them? Our appreciation often comes from our unfamiliarity with others, so all we see are those halos, and we don’t understand the shadows behind the halos.
  If you have insight into human nature, you will find that aura and shadow complement each other. Without shadow, there would be no aura. Just like the excellence of girlfriend R comes from her hard work day after day. Only by trying her best can she become seemingly effortless. However, R’s shadow, such as not having time to take care of and accompany her family, is only known to R’s ex-husband. . What others see is R’s shining point, but since you choose R’s halo, you have to accept her shadow, right? There is also the wife of my male friend who has forgotten the aura that attracted her to her husband in the first place, and all she sees in her life are the shadows of unsatisfactory things. If we always stare at the shadow, we are afraid that we will never fall in love with each other again. Our eyes will be full of disgust and nothing more than this. Over time, the two hearts will gradually drift apart.
  ”Divorce is not necessarily a bad thing. At least it allows you to see yourself clearly and know what you really need.” The person who spoke was Sister Wen, who had been there. After ten years of divorce, Sister Wen is better now than she was back then. “I was heartbroken at that time. I just wanted to roll around on the ground and let no one pull me away. I felt extremely frustrated. How could I live my life in such a miserable way? What a failure.” Sister Wen laughed. He then said to R, “But look, come over and look back, if it weren’t for the failed marriage, how could you be as good as you are now?”
  I agree with Sister Wen’s point of view. Just as we learn to walk after falling down as children, the failure of marriage allows us to stop and examine our own hearts and needs.
  R, with tears in her eyes, looked at Sister Wen’s sincere look and nodded, then looked at the confused night streets in despair. She may be thinking in her heart: I don’t have a home in this huge city… “Your home is you.
  ” Be yourself, appreciate yourself, accept yourself, and become a better version of yourself.” I said to R. She was stunned for a moment and nodded understandingly.
  How lucky would you be to meet someone who falls in love with you again and again in your life?
  If you can’t meet her, you might as well fall in love with yourself again and again.

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