A few days ago, I found a post on the Internet:
“Suddenly I found that my life was boring. On weekends, I saw my colleagues playing tennis, playing board games, watching exhibitions and hiking. I basically didn’t go out and only stayed at home to brush Short Video. It seemed that I was also entertaining, but I didn’t have much fun.I also want to go out to play, but I don’t have any hobbies, I don’t know what to play.It’s sad that you can’t even play.”
A lot of people below expressed that they were stabbed in the heart. Isn’t that what they were talking about?I don’t know how to play this game. In fact, I started it when I was young.As a child, play is not a legitimate need in the eyes of parents, it will only waste time, delay learning, and those who can play a few peers are regarded as uncontrolled “wild children.”We are allowed very little time to play, let alone any attainments in playing it.
When we grow up, we find that “playing” is actually an indispensable ability to live:
People who can play have their own rich spiritual world and are more able to resist loneliness when they are alone;
By playing, we can meet all kinds of people, and they will become our contacts or close friends, and even partners.
Always find the joy of life, into the present, not easy to fall into emptiness;
So it’s also time and effort, what exactly is it to play?Do people who can’t play have a way to change?Today’s post is about “playing”.
Playing is actually a kind of
The ability to make everyday life interesting
Leisure Quotient can be used to describe a person’s ability to play leisure, that is, whether we can play or not.People who play high school can not only make their lives interesting, but also let others enjoy the time spent with them without feeling bored.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that play has to be a novel and exciting experience or a purchase of fun, though some play does cost money, but play isn’t limited to that. It’s more about the ability to make routine fun (Barnett, 2007).
For example, the gift is designed as a prize for puzzle solving games, which can only be obtained if the other party successfully solves it; when traveling, he actively talks with local people and understands a lot of folk culture that can’t be found on the strategy; he likes cooking very much, from making ordinary home dishes to creating new dishes freely at last.
It can be said that the highest level of play is to be able to re-create life. People who play high will not be limited by the environment. Anything they touch can become the material for them to create new life experiences.
Those who don’t play and are bored often may simply use play as a way to pass the time, and in this mindset we are in a passive state of participation: play does distract us and give us a brief respite, but we are just spectators.
Psychologist Mike Rucker suggests that pursuing interesting experiences may be more valuable than pursuing abstract happiness goals (Rucker, 2023).
Play tends to get us into a state of flow, where we focus on present experiences and connections with others, forgetting time and forgetting worries.
At the same time, playing can also pleasure ourselves and regulate our mental health.No matter what grievances we suffer elsewhere, at least we can have a small world that allows us to vent our emotions and compensate for our psychological deficiencies.
In addition to these non-utilitarian benefits, playing also has practical significance.
Studies have found that if you have a hobby that is very different from your job and you are committed to it rather than playing for three minutes, it will have a positive impact on your productivity (Kelly et al., 2020）。For example, office white-collar workers often play basketball and tennis after work, which will greatly improve their daytime work efficiency.
Playing can also expand your network and increase your social capital (Kim et al., 2021; Lee et al., 2018）。I heard a story about getting a job because you can play.Friends like to study German very much, ta talked about this hobby in the final face of a certain job, and the boss who happened to interview also had the same hobby, so this became ta’s bonus item, and finally ta got the job.Although this is just a coincidence, there is a hobby that can undoubtedly help us break the ice with others faster and open up new possibilities.
So, high rollers
What are they like?
1. Creating fun is the inertia of ta’s life. Being with ta never feels disappointing.
They seem to have the ability to “play” anytime, anywhere.On the way to work, pick up the leaves visible everywhere to make “deciduous kebab”; the usual walk after dinner, call friends to open WeChat positioning to play “cat catch mouse”; jump on a bus at random stop on weekends and get off “adventure”… ta will always find bright spots in the activities with you and create new experiences.
Therefore, staying with them never feels “disappointing”, what you play is not so important, and boring things can become interesting.
2. Pay attention to the experience in the process, and make yourself and those around you feel happy.
People who play high pay attention to experience, so they will open their senses in the process and enrich their knowledge as much as possible.
Enjoy the scenery along the way while walking, enjoy the sense of achievement of achieving small goals during sports, immerse yourself in the aroma of food when facing delicious food, and observe various pedestrians while walking.Focusing on the present allows them to capture many small details, which is the secret to always feel happy from the ordinary daily life.
Ta people are also very popular in the circle of friends, friends without ta people always feel that something is missing.Because they can change almost any dull environment and atmosphere, and make themselves and those around them happy.
3. For things they really like, they will explore deeply and play well.
Abundant curiosity is the “power engine” for high gamers to enjoy the world.Even in the face of something completely unfamiliar, such as sports that have never been tried, or minority cultures that have never been heard of, once they are excited, they will bravely try.Enthusiasm dispels fear of new beginnings and worries about “sunk costs.”
Of course, ta people will not just look at flowers and taste them.In the face of things they really like, they also have the interest and ability to “explore deeply.”
If you like to drink cocktails, learn the flavor differences of various base wines, and the recipes and preparation methods of different cocktails.
If you like to travel, do your homework to understand the historical stories and cultural characteristics of your destination.
If you like photography, you should understand the artistic aesthetics behind different light and shadow and composition.
In-depth exploration of hobbies is not like preparing for exams, but to pursue utilitarian results and achievements.For them, being able to reap something is enough to be a pleasure.
4. More mature, more resilient.
The process of playing actually makes us face many uncertainties and challenges, and some of the play is even competitive.This means that we may encounter conflicts, setbacks, and taste wins and losses in it.
Whether it is the sense of defeat after losing or the sense of accomplishment after winning, it is a training for our minds.We can even deepen our understanding of our own personality and behavior patterns in the process.
Psychologists believe that if we can overcome difficulties in one hobby, it directly increases our mental resilience and makes us more able to recover from other difficulties in life (Luthans, 2002).
(Want to know other ways to improve mental toughness?)Wechat Official Account Home Reply to “Psychological Resilience” View)
To improve your business,
What can I do?
Although the previous article mentioned that gamblers are a person’s ability to make daily life interesting, even online began to have the signs of rolling gamblers, thinking that “people who can play will not be too bad.”But personally, this matter is not so serious. The gamer reflects more only the degree to which we currently engage in life and enjoy life.
Love to play is actually everyone’s nature.So, if you want to improve it, what you need is not serious study or training, but to find a breakthrough to liberate this repressed and even degraded nature.
You can start by finding your play style.
Everyone probably has one or more types of play that they feel most comfortable with (Brown & Vaughan, 2010).Knowing your own play style will help you find inspiration to play when you don’t know how to play.
Here are a few fun styles that might inspire you:
Athletes-enjoy sports, such as dancing, swimming, fitness, rock climbing.
Explorer-Likes novelty and adventure. It can be a physical adventure-like a forest scavenger hunt, a room escape, or a spiritual adventure-like reading an interesting book or talking to a stranger.
Competitors–get pleasure from winning games or scoring points, such as Monopoly, King’s Glory, a badminton match.
Planner-Enjoy planning and executing projects, such as planning and hosting a party or organizing an outing.
Collector-Likes to collect interesting items or experiences, such as fun stones, beautiful wine bottles, and niche coffee shops.
Create a home-find fun in hands-on projects such as painting, cooking, making homemade earrings, and making wool blankets.
Imaginist-likes to immerse himself in stories, absorbing elements from novels, movies and plays, and weaving his own stories with imagination.
Of course, these play styles are not standard answers, nor do they include all possibilities. You may feel that there are several styles here that suit you very well, or you may think that these are some distance from your hobbies.It doesn’t matter, enjoy happiness has many possibilities, suitable for oneself is the best.
Remind yourself to keep an open mind and try more until you find spiritual destinations where you can’t get tired of playing and where you can sink your mind into thinking and forgetting about worldly worries and time.