Life

Unlocking Calm and Inner Peace: Letting Go of Things Beyond Your Control

   We often say that a person must have a pattern, but what does it mean to have a pattern? My answer is: don’t worry about bad people when you meet them, and don’t get hung up on bad things when they happen to you.
   Why don’t you argue with bad people?
   The first point is, if you argue with a bad person, you will lose nine times out of ten.
   I once encountered an aunt who jumped in line at Hong Kong Disneyland. After being accused by two girls, one of the aunts cursed the two girls in extremely vicious words. I stood up to speak for the girl, but the aunt said that the reason why I spoke up was because of the girl’s beauty, and she described her with a sharp nose: “You kid, you peeked at that girl’s breasts many times, you thought I didn’t see it…” As a trainer, I actually lost my temper that day. If I kept asking, I could only say that I didn’t watch it, and then the aunt would say that you just watched it… This kind of nonsense often makes you unable to clean up. If you want to fight back, you can only use Violence fights violence, but if so, wouldn’t I end up like her? This is not what I want, so I can only swallow the bitterness silently…
   So why do I lose nine times out of ten when arguing with bad people? Because bad people have no bottom line, and they will also drag you into this battlefield with no bottom line. If you want the bottom line, you lose the war.
   Second point, you can’t change the world, and you can’t change bad people.
   Internet writer Ping Kaishun talked about his father’s experience of having a stroke. His father was chivalrous and liked to meddle in other people’s affairs. Once, a car was parked on the sidewalk in the community, which affected the neighbors’ ability to pass by. The old man went over to negotiate, but despite his earnest words, the young man in the car remained unmoved. Later, he actually said: “Old guy, go away. You are too busy, right?” Two days after this incident, the old man Just had a stroke. Ping Kaishun said: “At that time, my father was holding his breath in his heart. What he couldn’t let go of was that he was clearly making sense. Why can’t today’s young people even make sense?”
   There is a saying on the Internet called “Absolutely” Don’t reason with rotten people,” because rotten people come from another parallel universe, and their values ​​​​and principles of life are completely different from ours. If you can’t educate them, you will suffer from it. Just like Haruki Murakami said: “Not all fish live in the same ocean.” Of course, I am not asking you to succumb to rotten people, but I am asking you to despise their existence, let alone because of rotten people. Go in with your own body, time, energy and dignity.
   Then why don’t you get hung up on something bad?
   First, most bad things are irreversible.
   The idiom “break the pot and ignore it” tells such a story: Guo Tai was walking when he saw a man carrying an earthen pot on his back. As he was walking, the earthen pot suddenly fell and broke to the ground. The man continued walking without looking back. Guo Tai caught up with him and asked him: “Why didn’t you even take a look at your earthen pot when it broke?” The man replied: “It’s broken, so what’s the use of looking at it again?” This story is similar to A Western proverb has the same purpose – “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” But most people can’t do this.
   The second point is that you often worry about trivial things, often because you have too few serious things.
   I once eliminated an employee because of low performance and being too pretentious. It felt like he was living in dire straits every day. The most classic time was when he changed his booking and refunded a ticket on Ctrip. It took a week for the money to arrive in his account. As a result, he spent almost two days trying to find Ctrip customer service to argue that he had spent 1,000 yuan. Why was Duan Duan sitting on Ctrip’s account for a week in vain, and why was the interest not paid to him?
   Of course, you can say that he has a sense of rights protection, but he spends too much energy on these crappy things and does not do much of what he should really do, such as chasing customers. In fact, his hypocrisy and low performance are symbioses that nourish each other. The less you do serious things, the easier it is to focus on bad things. And those bad things seem to have their own magnetic field, attracting each other. Gradually, you will lose more energy and find it difficult to make room to do serious things.
   Reminds me of what a psychologist said: Everything that everyone handles is a process of “brain remodeling.” Whatever you deal with, you will involuntarily “play” the corresponding role until you really become that person.

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