“I like people, not people.”This is a quote from Emerson’s diary.People are singular, people are plural.Individuals are simple, but groups become complex.All good relationships happen only between individuals.
Friendship comes from natural proximity.Only souls that meet on my own path can be my friends, and we do not reject each other, repeating similar experiences in our respective souls.We can love nothing but nature.Beauty, talent, and achievement add luster to a party, but they do not necessarily produce friendship.The communication of the mind has a certain deceptive color, boundaries are invisible, but never intersect.A brother or sister who is close by nature comes, and we immediately feel close and relaxed, as if it were the blood in our own veins.
In interpersonal communication, interest is essential.Morality rules the world, but at short distances, feeling rules.Sincerity is first and foremost, and sincerity is far better than flattery.To deal frankly with men and women, and thus to force the utmost sincerity, is the highest respect you can show.Then there is the sense of proportion, which derives from a refined self-esteem and good breeding and gives beauty to communication.But Emerson’s emphasis was on respect.”I want every chair to be a throne, with a king sitting on it.”I prefer solemn tendencies to too close friendships.Let’s not get too familiar with each other.I would like to have, among all things, an island of one man uninvaded.Let us sit like gods, looking at each other and talking from afar on the peaks that surround Mount Olympus, without the slightest emotion intruding on this holiness.”Couples should also maintain each other’s strangeness, if too intimate, everything will slide into the vulgar situation.
Society is often seen not by its face and eyes, but by its side and back.On most occasions we are with inappropriate people and trying to maintain a genuine relationship is delusional.So, what to do?Emerson said,”Experience teaches us nothing more practical than our first instinct for self-preservation.”That is: do not associate or mix yourself with any of their manners, but let their madness be consumed without opposition–you are you, and I am me.”Sometimes it seems as if the whole world is conspiring to pester you with exaggerated trivia, to come knocking at your door together.Please keep your original state, do not go out and get involved in their disputes.No one can approach you except through your actions.Don’t go against your heart, don’t be soft, don’t satisfy the expectations of boring people, stop this kind of false hospitality and false compassion.
Emerson attended a gathering of old school friends and wrote in his diary: “I find it both touching and frustrating to meet again after twenty years:
Moved in addition to one unmarried, everyone became a father; lost in each other in addition to the topic of the past, in addition to the appearance of changes, we still have no real spiritual communication.The seemingly lively atmosphere was filled with confusion and self-deception, avoiding substantive topics and unreality, which became the background color smeared on the picture of this party.I am still sitting in my old seat, feeling more like an observer of the past than an old schoolmate.”Ah, what a familiar scene, what a real feeling, what an accurate narrative.