Life

Unbreakable You: How to Cultivate a Powerful “Dullness” and Thrive in Any Storm

01 Introduction

Have you ever had such trouble?

Because I am overly sensitive, I always think a lot and easily get into trouble:

For example, in a group discussion, when you propose a new idea and other members do not respond positively or criticize your views, you may feel that your opinions are not valued and begin to doubt your thinking ability or value.

For example, when you work hard to do something and expect to be recognized and praised by others, but in the end you only receive a cold response or are ignored, you may feel that your self-esteem is damaged, and you may feel self-questioning and uneasy.

For example, when you publish a personal article or share your creation on social media but don’t get the likes or comments you expected, you may feel that your efforts are ignored and doubt your talent and value.

These thoughts always appear in your mind uncontrollably. You live cautiously and tremblingly every day, and you are not happy at all.

How to get rid of this? The answer is to cultivate—desensitization.

02 What is insensitive force?

Sensitivity refers to a person’s ability to cope with adversity, stress and setbacks.

It involves an individual’s ability to recover quickly and maintain a positive attitude, adaptability, and self-regulation when faced with difficulties, challenges, or trauma .

Japanese writer Junichi Watanabe wrote in his book “The Power of Insensitivity” that the opposite of sensitivity is insensitivity.

According to Watanabe Junyi’s own explanation, the power of insensitivity can be understood as the power of insensitivity .

Watanabe Junichi once knew a professor who was very skilled in medicine, but he liked to curse people, especially his assistants.

But after each operation, the assistant still chatted and laughed with everyone, and did not feel resentful or leave his job.

The assistant is able to regain his status so quickly because he is not that sensitive to other people’s opinions, evaluations, and even malice, and other people’s reactions do not affect him very much.

He is more focused on his own affairs and only cares about whether he has achieved his goals.

This slightly dull and optimistic spirit is the power of dullness.

But sensitivity is not about simply getting rid of difficulties or avoiding stress, but refers to the individual’s ability to cope with, adapt to, learn and grow from difficulties when faced with them .

People with high insensitivity are usually able to maintain a positive attitude, have tenacity and flexible thinking, and can cope with setbacks, adversity and changes, and gain strength and growth from them.

03 What kind of person needs to develop insensitivity?

Desensitization can be beneficial to anyone, but people in the following situations may especially need to cultivate it:

1. People who have experienced trauma or difficulty

For people who have experienced trauma, setbacks or difficulties, desensitization helps them better cope with and recover from it, and avoid falling into negative emotional and thought cycles.

2. People working in high-pressure jobs or highly competitive environments

For example, for professionals and academic researchers, cultivating insensitivity can help people cope with work pressure, challenges and failures, maintain stable emotions and a positive attitude, and maintain motivation to face pressure and competition.

In the process of learning and research, in the face of academic challenges, study pressure and competition, cultivating insensitivity can help them maintain motivation, overcome difficulties, and continue to pursue academic and personal growth.

3. People with sensitive and fragile personalities

Many people may have sensitive personalities due to factors such as family of origin, education, and emotional frustration. It is easy for them to have too many thoughts about other people’s reactions, and they are trapped in mental internal friction all day long.

Cultivating insensitivity can help them better cope with stress and setbacks, improve psychological flexibility, reduce negative emotions, and face life with a more positive attitude.

In general, whether you are facing challenges in life, professional pressure, or stages of personal development, cultivating insensitivity is beneficial.

04 How to cultivate insensitivity?

First, reasonable attribution

People who are sensitive or psychologically fragile are generally more inclined to make inward attributions and reflect on their own problems first. Faced with this situation, people who are insensitive are generally more inclined to make extroverted attributions.

Putting all problems on yourself can easily lead to self-criticism and self-criticism, which will increase your psychological burden and pressure, and over time, you will become depressed.

Therefore, to cultivate insensitivity, the first thing to do is to make reasonable attributions, and when attributions should be made outwards, make the attributions outwards.

Second, turn your attention to yourself

Attention is like a searchlight. Wherever its light shines, it becomes clearer and has a greater impact on others. The areas that are not illuminated are relatively blurry and have less impact on people.

If you want to reduce the impact of others on yourself, you must pay more attention to yourself, focus on your own feelings and experiences, think more about your current situation, and care for yourself.

Don’t think about what others will think of me, but think about who I want to be and what I should do, so that you won’t be upset by other people’s reactions.

Third, establish a positive attitude

Cultivating a positive mindset is key to developing a blunt force.

Even if someone really makes you feel wronged or affected, you might as well laugh it off, give yourself psychological hints, and respond positively.

Don’t be depressed when you encounter suffering, setbacks, or failures. Treat failure as a part of life rather than an obstacle.

Fourth, establish a support system

Build a healthy support system with friends and family, share difficulties and challenges, and seek support and advice.

Their support and understanding can help you cope better with stress and provide emotional support.

Fifth, develop problem-solving abilities

Learn to develop appropriate solutions when faced with problems and challenges.

Find strategies and techniques to solve problems, consider multiple possibilities, and take positive action to solve problems.

Sixth, learn from failures

Treat failure as a learning opportunity rather than a blow.

Cultivate the ability to resist difficulties and setbacks in failure, analyze the reasons for failure, learn from it, and use it as motivation for improvement, accept failure as part of growth and progress,

05 Summary

“Insensitiveness”, the ability to be dull, is a kind of attitude and wisdom in life that is as wise as foolish.

When facing difficulties, challenges or trauma, it can help us quickly recover and maintain a positive attitude, and improve our ability to adapt and self-regulate.

People who have experienced trauma or difficulties, people in high-pressure jobs or competitive environments, and people with sensitive and fragile personalities need to develop and possess the power of blunt sensitivity in order to maintain a positive attitude in intense and complex environments.

Methods to cultivate insensitivity include:

① Reasonable attribution; ② Focus on yourself; ③ Establish a positive attitude; ④ Establish a support system; ⑤ Develop problem-solving abilities; ⑥ Learn from failures.

May you no longer be sensitive and be able to actively deal with all the bad things in life.

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