More than three months ago, I adopted a kitten with long fur and four “white gloves” on its paws. It was a little stray found in the garage downstairs of a friend’s house. It wasn’t really picked up, it was taken home by force. It originally lived a free wandering life and was constantly fed cat food. However, I coveted it because it was too cute, so I ended its freedom and raised it at home. It quickly adapted to a pampered and lazy life. This is my second cat, and since I got him, he has become even more of a homebody. Apart from work and necessary social interactions, I dislike wandering around outside less and less. I always think about the fact that there is a living creature at home. So, kittens became my new excuse for being “socially lazy”.
The term “social laziness” is probably a concept created by the Chinese Internet. It didn’t appear long, just two or three years ago. Before this, “Social Fear” and “Social Bull” constituted the two major camps in social personality. However, the more people carefully consider their own social personality attributes, the more they feel that this thing cannot be viewed in binary opposition. Many people Jumping between these two states, there are times when you are chatting in a crowd and exuding charm, and there are also timid moments when you dare not look directly at each other in social interactions, and there are also times when you only socialize with people you feel you need, and do not care about others. If you keep a distance or even speak indifferently, it is called “social coldness”. In short, there are now various concepts to describe the different concentrations of “fear” and “cow” in people’s social interactions.
“Social laziness” and “social phobia” have one thing in common, which is avoiding social interaction. Among my “fear” and “fear” ratios, “social fear” accounts for the majority: when I am traveling in the subway, I always hope that no one will see me; at a half-baked dinner, I can’t wait to see through my watch. I have always accepted that I am a “social phobia”, which seems to be a very useful skin. I instinctively avoid people, hide, and even pretend to be aloof. As I grow older, sometimes I am no longer so “fearful”. I have learned some skills to behave as freely as possible in different situations. At least I have accumulated some experience, and I am thick-skinned enough to put away my timid social status from time to time. But no matter what, you are actively or passively placing yourself in society.
If you habitually avoid social interactions, you might as well ask yourself a few questions: Are you really afraid of talking to others and making eye contact? Do you really feel nervous, helpless and at a loss in a crowded place? Will your verbal and physical expression be hindered by this? If so, it is indeed “social terror”. If not, then it is most likely “social laziness” – too lazy to socialize. You will actively choose to avoid socializing, at least avoid ineffective socializing. You are even fully capable of walking freely among the crowd, making the place lively, and making things happen, but you are unwilling to put in the effort and actively choose to stay away. For these social occasions, lie at home.
I actively choose to stay away because I feel I don’t need it. When you judge that a social event is ineffective, you will naturally choose not to go and save your energy. Are you uncomfortable staying at home? Or, your existing social circle is enough to meet your social needs. Occasionally meeting and chatting with acquaintances is enough to satisfy your not-so-strong social desire, and this frequency is also due to social media. development is gradually declining. Why do we need to meet in person when we can explain things clearly on the phone? Most people’s relationships are not to the extent that they require frequent meetings to maintain them. It would be awkward to meet in person, so it would be better to continue chatting on WeChat. If things go on like this, you no longer need these social interactions. You have locked yourself in your mobile phone and your own little world, established your own comfort zone, and you no longer need more social interactions to stimulate your life. In this way, you fall into The vortex of “social laziness”.
I have collected some online summaries of the “socially lazy” group: Although these people rarely have the ability to quickly achieve cordial and effective communication, they are not shy and slow in social interactions. Compared with “socially lazy” people, they will Be more enthusiastic to communicate with people who are not related to you. They do not lack normal communication skills, do not behave indifferently, nor are they overly familiar. Everything seems normal, but they are too lazy to release this social energy. When they have nothing to do, they rarely take the initiative to contact their friends, hoping that the chat will end as soon as possible, even if they just play with their mobile phones boringly after the end; they rarely express themselves, do not comment on others, and rarely even take the initiative to contact their family members. From this point of view, this is really an indifferent group. They are indifferent to the world of most people and find it boring. You often feel that they are passionate about the world, but where is the enthusiasm? You don’t know where they put their enthusiasm.
I used to love going out, partying with friends, watching mountains and rivers, eating, drinking and having fun. Although I have never been a social person who talks endlessly, I like to stay with my friends. It is lively and happy, and time just flows by. It passed without any care. Maybe it was because I was young at that time and kept squandering my time as if I couldn’t use it up. Thinking about it, this was the situation several years ago. Now that I am used to being alone, I have pampered my laziness.
There are two types of “socially lazy” people. One is just lazy about social interaction. They free up time for ineffective social interactions and arrange other more meaningful things. This type of people are undoubtedly role models in life; but most people I couldn’t be so self-disciplined. Although I didn’t engage in ineffective socializing, I didn’t do anything more useful. All that time was wasted in a state of laziness about everything, scrolling through my mobile phone in a daze, and this day was gone. In the end, staying away from social contact again and again will make you fall into a vicious cycle, becoming less and less social, and closing yourself more and more in your comfort zone, making it impossible to get out. When you realize the vicious cycle, you start to blame yourself, start to hate social interaction, and even hate everything in sight. This state is really terrible.
It’s okay if you are just lazy about social interaction, but if this laziness spreads to the point where you are tired and lazy about everything, then you are really lazy. In the world of lazy people, the brain is faster than the mouth and hands, and only the brain is moving in the whole body. In the mind, I wish I had created another world. A few broken dishes in the sink have not been washed, and the work in front of me has not been touched at all. . Lazy people are really cute and pathetic. There is a little book called “The Idle Thoughts of a Lazy Man”. The author, Jerome, was a British man who lived at the end of the 19th century. He said that he was a lazy man and the books he wrote were all fragmentary. Small humor, he is too lazy to write a long tome. He is too lazy to be very particular, and too lazy to be dignified. I once went to the countryside to recuperate. I spent four weeks leisurely doing nothing and being completely lazy. I slept until midnight, ate chocolates, read emotional novels with bleak endings, listened to the doctor’s instructions, and did nothing. I just walked around the house and garden. Ambulance, using a wheelchair for two hours a day. But this month made him collapse, the days passed extremely slowly, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted to return to the bright lights of London and end his lazy life without freedom. This was simply a waste of life. He said that he “likes to be lazy when I shouldn’t be lazy, not when laziness becomes the only thing I can do.” In other words, I have to take the initiative to be lazy in a busy and stressful life. This is true laziness. If If someone asked him to do nothing but lie down, that would never do.
This is the ultimate lazy person, he must have the freedom to choose to be lazy. Lazy people all have one characteristic. They always seem to be extremely busy. Before finishing work A, they have a lot of preparatory work to do, which is to avoid the main business. The same can be said: poor students have more stationery. There are many excuses for laziness in society.