Life

Unveiling the Paradox of Love: Possession, Vulnerability, and Self-Discovery

All the language of love is appropriated, and the term ‘appropriated’ herein encapsulates two nuances: to be tethered, to preexist our present selves. Employing phrases reiterated myriad times to articulate one’s endearment, a gesture not feigned, but akin to boarding a private conveyance to an exclusive destination.

Love, primarily, is a whispered rumor, a saccharine pledge lavished into receptive ears: we venerate it ere it materializes in the theater of life, perpetually reenacting the saga in oblivious repetition. Love, far from a spontaneous sentiment, is imbued within us by the mores of society and the milieu of family.

From tender years, we acquire an array of endearing epithets, interchangeable in their application to kin, pets, and infants within our domicile. These whimsical yet poignant expressions, antecedent to our existence, meld tenderness with convention: my heart, my cherub, my beloved, encompassing all, yet none distinctly. Noteworthy is our propensity to harbor similar sentiments for diverse individuals, engaging in identical dalliances with all.

“I love you”: the quintessence of intimacy ensnared within the most prosaic of phrases, the inaugural avowal, reminiscent of vintage prose. Essential it becomes to forge a bespoke lexicon, flowering solely upon the instant of utterance, then fading into oblivion. The trajectory embarked upon with beloveds mirrors that trodden by myriad predecessors.

(1) Inescapable Serendipity
“I love you” assumes the semblance of a supplication, a pact, a feat, a indebtedness. This fervent proclamation, issuing forth from fervid lips, constitutes an acknowledgment of one’s vulnerability. I extol the fixation another has instilled within me, whilst decrying the tumult this emotion begets.

A stranger, by mere presence, cleaved my life in twain. I yearned to reclaim my essence sans forfeiture of his presence. Love’s advent is akin to an eminent spire piercing through the tranquility of existence, simultaneously dolorous and euphoric, fierce and genuine, ablaze yet redolent. How do I subdue the one who engrosses me, who lays siege to my heart from celestial heights?

Concealed within the intoxication of “I love you” lies the imperative to elicit reciprocity. Whilst I bared my vulnerability, I posed a query: Do you reciprocate this sentiment? Should fortune favor and love find harbor in the other’s heart, tranquility shall be restored, and we shall ingress into the realm of felicitous love.

“I Love You” acts as a synchronizer: aligning the temporal cadence of lovers, thus rendering them contemporaneous. It transmutes ‘you’ and ‘I’ into synchronous entities. It serves as a requisite credential for admittance into the dominion of the beloved, a permit to traverse their universe.

Yet, secrecy shuns forfeiture of innocence: all is professed, yet naught enacted. Upon utterance of this fateful phrase, lovers recalibrate the rhythm of their lives, steadfast in their pledges. Words once spoken are arduous to retract, henceforth navigating the same vessel together. “I love you” brooks no qualifiers: neither ‘somewhat’ nor ‘exceedingly’; it reigns absolute, decisive, domineering.

“I love you forever”, this phrase bore the solemn oath of its speaker. “Forever” denotes a temporal dimension transcending mundane chronology. I vowed perpetual affection, despite my incapacity to govern the vicissitudes of emotion. The man in my life, the woman in my life: but one of myriad fates in the tapestry of existence.

The vow parallels faith and wagering, vaulting over doubt and trepidation, presuming a world where we may coexist in bliss, pledging fidelity of heart. Yet, in expelling uncertainty, the vow ensconces both lovers in a precarious realm, rendering them potential adversaries.

(2) Reinvent Thyself

Enigmatic injunction: Love thy neighbor as thyself. Conventional wisdom predicates a preference for self over others, or conversely, for others over self. Yet, in this seemingly paradoxical maxim, lies an imperative: to wholeheartedly love oneself, thereby conferring benefit upon others! I cherish myself by virtue of others’ regard and their elucidation of my identity. I crave their benevolent gaze and attentive ear, for their affirmation possesses generative potency.

Self-love necessitates recognition of division. Aristotle delineated between utilitarian self-interest and gratuitous egotism. A seminal revelation: discord must precede self-love. “The horse lacks discord with itself, hence fails to befriend itself.” Only humanity harbors the potential to become its own adversary, ultimately seeking self-annihilation. Each individual necessitates the presence of others to transcend selfhood.

If I am loathsome, contends Pascal, it’s by virtue of a formidable barrier cleaving our true selves from the loftier essence within. To love others as oneself is to revere the eternal facet of our being, the shared essence signifying prospective communal salvation. Rousseau, finally, demarcates virtuous self-love—the sole guarantor of authenticity—from societal indulgence fostering narcissism.

What wisdom do these traditions impart? Initial self-respect begets self-forgetfulness, paving the path for others’ inclusion. Central is the attainment of self-awareness in youth, obviating later introspection.

Nietzsche enjoins: “Be thyself.” Concurrently, transcend thyself, and aspire towards improvement. The Enlightenment envisioned humanity’s evolution towards perfection: latent within us lie untapped reservoirs of wisdom, virtue, and valor.

Thus, an individual is born at least twice: shaping the self, forging liberation from entrenched identity, transmuting from old to new.

Freud posited: insufficient narcissism begets feebleness, engendering distrust. Thus, exists a beneficial narcissism fostering self-affiliation as well as camaraderie with others, alongside a pernicious narcissism riddled with self-doubt. The demarcation between these variants remains subtle, elusive.

Love, the animating force, beckons us to plumb the depths of existence, unveiling hitherto overlooked profundities, enriched and weightier.

Love absolves us of the sins of existence: when love founders, life loses its essence. Bereft, I am replete yet hollow: for without another, I am redundant.

At the dolorous juncture of severance, the discarded ‘self’ reemerges, a cacophony of futile anxieties, darting hither and thither. Thus, existence regresses into desolation: rise, cleanse, nourish, endure the inner soliloquy of madness, traverse time, akin to a tormented spirit.

This void, a superfluity. “Intense, irremediable love stems from an imagination that perceives the most intimate self mirrored in the gaze of the other, that self clandestinely observing. Yet, this clandestine self, fashioned entirely by the other, hinges upon the extent of my surrender to love: to be loved is to be redeemed within one’s lifetime, an unparalleled felicity.

Love possesses a generative vigor, enabling latent potential to flourish, emancipating us from the cycle of self-repetition, from the desolate self that comprises the basal recesses of our being. Love, metamorphosing us into other selves, assumes a mantle of greater responsibility, for it embodies luminescence and joy.

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