Life

Shedding the Shackles of Safety: A Journey from Child to Man

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It is purported that a particular tradition prevails among certain indigenous tribes.

Upon a boy reaching the age of ten, the tribal elders, shrouded in masks and masquerading as specters, stealthily abscond with the child from his mother’s embrace under the shroud of night.

Though the mother feigns defense of her progeny, she finds herself powerless against the phantoms that surround her.

This ceremonial rite serves to instill in the child at a subconscious level the notion: “Mother’s protection is futile; henceforth, reliance on her is untenable.” It signifies the initial stride towards severance from the “sanctum of safety”. Subsequently, these guise-donned elders of the tribe usher the children into the depths of the forest. There, they subject them to terror, lashing, and trance induction, employing rituals or assignments to dismantle the child’s sense of security and liberation from fear.

Through such initiation, the “boy” perishes spiritually, metamorphosing into a “man”, thereafter apprenticed to the elders to acquire the skills requisite of manhood such as crafting, hunting, and combat.

Should the rite falter, and the boy fail to emerge reborn as a man, he faces the sanction of death by the elders of the tribe. For they cannot entrust the defense of the tribe to men who yet linger in the realm of “childhood”.

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One of the pivotal attributes defining those who are psychologically “immature” is their subconscious prioritization of security as their paramount necessity.

They exhibit heightened sensitivity, with even trifling matters capable of inciting tempestuous emotional upheavals; they perpetually struggle to find avenues of communication conducive to ease and tranquility in interpersonal relations; certainty and unwavering commitment elude them in the pursuit of long-term objectives; they find themselves unable to wholeheartedly dedicate to their chosen vocation, perpetually consumed by internal turmoil; and they may find the splendor and felicity of life elusive, as their fixation on security impedes their capacity for complete immersion and engagement.

In truth, few traverse the metamorphosis from “childhood” to “maturity” on a spiritual plane. Many among us carry unfulfilled needs from our formative years.

Generally, there exist four pathways to psychological maturation.

Initially, individuals blessed with parents of profound maturity during their nascent years find themselves enveloped in an environment that fosters secure exploration of risks while providing ample “holding”.

In such circumstances, the individual unwittingly divests the need for security within a cocoon of safety.

Secondly, individuals who endure significant trauma in their formative years may transcend the illusory pursuit of “security”, emerging unbridled by fear.

However, this trajectory is not without peril. Most do not undergo a phoenix-like revival from trauma; instead, extreme fear or sorrow etches itself into the fabric of their being, constituting a formidable impediment to fearlessness and authenticity throughout their lives.

Thirdly, individuals innately endowed with insatiable curiosity about the world remain engrossed in specific subjects and domains of interest. For such individuals, security holds little sway.

Lastly, the transition to maturity may transpire during one’s collegiate or societal debut.

Whilst ensconced within the educational realm, individuals are surrounded by peers who mirror their own “youthfulness”, thus precluding a comprehensive exposure to the “adult” lifestyle. Rich social experiences and diverse interpersonal connections cultivated during college or post-educational pursuits may shatter the confines of one’s security fixation.

Through interaction with varied personas, one comprehends the myriad lifestyles accessible to humanity, thereby disintegrating the narrow and rigid framework of survival and, unwittingly, effectuating a dissolution of their sense of security.

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Beneath the veneer of security pursuit lies a failure to acknowledge the veracity of “emotions”.

Emotions such as security, pleasure, self-efficacy, loneliness, and fear are inherently uncontrollable. They serve as somatic responses to external stimuli, both as admonitory signals and regulators of bodily hormone secretion.

Yet, many remain oblivious to the fact that “emotion” is, in essence, an ephemeral construct. Rather than attempting to manipulate it, they endeavor to exert control.

The primary subconscious inclination of immature individuals is to cater to their emotions. Spending copious time in pursuit of equilibrium or gratification in one’s emotions does not yield contentment; rather, it impedes the attainment of happiness.

Much like an individual engaged in a game of “Honor of Kings”, full immersion necessitates undivided commitment sans distractions. In such moments of engagement, one experiences a state of “ease” and “enjoyment”.

Conversely, an individual fixated on security finds himself incapable of reveling in the game; unable to abandon inhibition and partake in unbridled passion. Instead, he fixates on evading demise, dreading reproach from teammates and fearing failure. Consequently, his foremost concern is not victory, but rather mitigating losses and improving statistics.

This analogy extends to life itself. A preoccupation with security precludes the capacity for happiness, as relaxation constitutes a prerequisite for its attainment. Those who remain perennially on guard find happiness an elusive prospect.

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For the mature individual, security and other emotive predispositions no longer occupy the forefront of subconscious desires. Attention shifts towards tangible and pragmatic matters. At this juncture, a degree of selflessness begins to manifest. The “self” ceases to be of paramount importance; the insular realm of personal concerns is forsaken in favor of a broader scope encompassing others, the world, and specific issues.

This does not advocate for a state akin to the callous indifference of flora and fauna; rather, emotions are relegated to a secondary role, not dismissed, but rather no longer wielded with the same degree of sensitivity and control.

Should a mature individual evolve into an “exemplary” being, the foremost subconscious impulse transcends the resolution of specific quandaries, shifting towards the pursuit of “self-realization”.

Such “self-realization” may be synonymous with a calling. The individual elects to dedicate the ensuing chapters of their life to a grand endeavor, one that epitomizes their personal values and convictions.

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