Life,  Tech,  Wealth

Decoding Human Nature: Understanding Ourselves and Relationships

1 What is the nature of human nature

“All poverty is due to imprisonment in thinking;
All pain comes from not understanding human nature. ”

If you know nothing about human nature, who will be hurt if you are not hurt, and who will be hurt if you are not hurt?
To swim you need to understand the nature of water, to tame an animal you need to understand the nature of the animal, and to live in this world you must understand human nature.

Human nature is the pursuit and protection of one’s own interests. Human nature drives people to pursue material wealth, social status and the acquisition of resources to satisfy their own needs and desires.

This financial pursuit side may manifest as competitive, selfish, and self-interested traits.
You may compete, cooperate, trade, etc. for your own benefit. It may also produce strong emotional reactions, such as greed, anxiety, satisfaction, etc.

People also pursue and express emotions and emotions. People usually pursue emotional satisfaction and happiness, and seek love, care, recognition and security.

This side of pursuing emotional interests may manifest itself in various emotional relationships such as family, friendship, love, etc. It may also produce various emotions due to emotional needs and experiences, such as joy, sadness, anger, anxiety, etc.

The nature of human nature is complex, with both a rational side and an emotional side. We must learn to feel our own inner voice with our hearts, and at the same time understand the emotions and needs of others. When we stick to our own path, we must also be kind to others and communicate with tolerance and respect so that each other can grow and be inspired.

2 Looking at relationships from a human perspective

Look at all kinds of relationships objectively and don’t overestimate relationships. Each of us may experience such an encounter:

The embarrassment of having a birthday forgotten by a good friend;

I asked relatives to borrow money but was unexpectedly rejected;

I asked my good brother for help but was rejected;

Fainted on the roadside but was prevented from getting into the ambulance because my best friend was afraid of spending money;


But in fact, most of the loss and sadness in life are caused by us overestimating our own weight in the hearts of others and the feelings of both parties.

There is an old saying:

“A deep love will not last long, and a great wisdom will be hurt.”

People who take their feelings too seriously are often easily hurt. The best mentality for people to get along with others is: to gather and disperse as they please, to love and hate as they please. Instead of being entangled, it is better to be more relaxed and Buddhist, do not force or expect, do not deliberately please anyone, do not overestimate relationships, live a good life, and rejoice freely.

Why do you say that? Next, I will show you through several core relationships in life, and you will be at ease:

1. Marital relationship: The interests in the relationship between husband and wife include financial interests, emotional support and family responsibilities. For example, couples may support each other financially and share household expenses, but they may also rely on each other emotionally to face life’s challenges together. For example, couples may work together to discuss family financial arrangements and share household responsibilities, such as child care and housework division.

The essence of marriage is not love, but interests.

There will be fewer and fewer people getting married, like now.
In the current society, the marriage rate in our country is worrying.

In China, getting married may mean a costly child or a sizable loan.
For men, marriage also means exorbitant betrothal gifts;
For women, marriage may also mean domestic violence, widowed parenting, and one person taking on household chores.
Therefore, the essence of marriage is actually interests, which is much more realistic than love.

2. Partnership: The interests in a partnership mainly include economic interests and career development. For example, partners may jointly invest in entrepreneurial projects, share economic benefits, and bear business risks. For example, two partners jointly invest in opening a restaurant, share costs and profits, and jointly decide on business strategies.

Ning Xiangdong of Tsinghua University said: All cooperation is essentially about complementary resources; once resources are no longer complementary, cooperation will no longer exist. Therefore, either choose a good partner; or if you have to cooperate with the person in front of you, you must be mentally prepared to break up the partnership in the future. If you don’t think about it well, don’t partner up and do it yourself.

3. Kinship: The benefits of kinship include family support, resource sharing and emotional connection. For example, relatives may help each other financially and jointly safeguard family interests, and they may also support each other emotionally and pass on family traditions together. For example, relatives may lend each other financial loans, share preparations for family gatherings, and may also care and support each other emotionally.

Relatives are the “social relationship between parents”, which is essentially a blood relationship. It is destined from the moment you are born. You cannot choose or deny it. In the long traditional society, “relatives” are not only relationships, but also a strong community of interests. Only through mutual support among relatives can we maintain our competitiveness in an agricultural society.

In traditional society, except for a very small number of people who obtain fame or go out to do business, most people live in a fixed place throughout their lives, and “kinship” is also a high degree of unity in values. Relatives may also have conflicts, but they are a community of interests “to the outside world”.

The biggest difference between “modern” and traditional is the need to rebuild one’s social relationships. When you move from the countryside to the city, you move from a “society of acquaintances” to a society of strangers. In traditional society, blood and relatives are the most important, but in the urban stranger society, people must rely on law – a contractual relationship.

4. Friendship: The interests in a friendship mainly include emotional support, social interaction and common interests. For example, friends may confide in each other emotionally, spend leisure time together, and introduce resources and opportunities to each other socially. For example, friends may support each other emotionally, participate in interest group activities, and introduce each other to job opportunities and social circles socially.

There are no permanent friends in the world, only permanent interests. The good friends you think are just helping you, that is, people who have given you benefits. If the other party treats you as a friend, it is also you who have given him benefits, otherwise the other party will also They will not treat you as a friend. If the other party gives you a benefit and you don’t return it, the other party will be angry or even break up. In the same way, if you give the other party a benefit and the other party does not return it, you will not associate with him again.

Benefits include not only money, but also companionship, obedience, and obedience, all of which are benefits to the other party. This is an unspoken rule, an established rule that will not be stated explicitly, but the sooner you understand, life

The more relaxed the happier you are.

5. Colleague relationship: The interests in colleague relationship mainly include career development, win-win cooperation and work efficiency. For example, colleagues may assist each other at work and complete work tasks together. They may also support each other in career development and jointly improve their work capabilities. For example, colleagues may cooperate with each other at work, complete project tasks together, and share resources and opportunities for career development.

The essence of the relationship between colleagues is still competition.

This is not to say that all colleagues have bad personal qualities and are immoral, but that due to competition for resources and unclear distribution of responsibilities and interests, colleagues have intentionally or unintentionally passed the buck, passed the blame, and even slandered each other for the sake of their own development.

Final summary

Being driven by interests is an instinct rooted in human nature, and the essence of relationship is actually a pursuit and exchange based on self-worth.

In daily interactions, a person chooses to establish a relationship with certain people not just out of goodwill or friendship. The deeper reason is that they find a recognition of individual value in the relationship.

Based on value exchange, we gradually have a solid and basic connection.

If two people can exchange value, they can build trust, deepen feelings, and jointly create a richer and better life. Shared values ​​make relationships stronger, deeper and more meaningful.

When both parties are able to understand and respect each other’s needs and expectations, relationships become more equal and harmonious. Only then can people meet each other’s needs and form an interdependent relationship, rather than one-way solicitation and passive dedication.

Masters all understand the nature of relationships, so they can navigate life with ease.

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