Life

Unveiling the Complexities of Women’s Perspectives on Marriage: A Deep Dive into Changing Attitudes

Do women have to get married? Different people have different answers.

My best friend Xiao Lan is a typical high-quality leftover woman who stayed in school after graduating with a Ph.D. She is thirty-four or five years old and is a solid celibate.

In her words, “I can earn my own money, have a job I love, have close family and friends, and like to be alone.

I have been in love for a few times, and I have already experienced everything between men and women. Besides, different people have different ways of living, and women don’t necessarily have to get married. “

However, another best friend of mine has a different view on marriage. She entered married life early,In her opinion, “When a girl reaches a certain age, she should follow the steps and get married and have children. After all, marriage means that a girl has transformed into a mature woman.

Marriage will allow people to leave their original family and start a life journey that they can create on their own. Besides, how lonely a person is. Wouldn’t it be nice to have one more person to love you? “

For her, getting married meant half the pain and twice the happiness. So, that’s why she got married as soon as she graduated.Some women lose their value after getting married and live a long-winded life without self.

What marriage brings to them is the dimensionality reduction of their personality and IQ. But there are many women who have experienced and grown up in marriage, and marriage has achieved their wisdom and structure. 

01. Marriage is because of needs 

Why do women get married and have children? The most intuitive reason is because they like it and they are happy.Behind this kind of liking, there are hidden inner psychological and physiological needs of women.

In the psychologist Maslow’s eight-stage needs model, in addition to the first, which is to meet people’s basic survival needs, the second and third basic needs are safety needs, belongingness and love needs.

Safety needs refer to people’s needs for stability, safety, protection, order, and freedom from fear and anxiety.The need for belonging and love refers to a person’s requirement to establish emotional connections or relationships with other people, such as making friends, pursuing love and marriage, etc. 

Safety needs need to be provided by guardians in the original family at an early age.However, many native families cannot fully play this role due to their own shortcomings and problems. Children who come out of these families are generally eager to seek and make up for the lack of security in adulthood.

Therefore, when these people who lack love are eager to leave their original family when they reach adulthood, they quickly get married and establish a stable marriage relationship, so that someone can provide protection, safety and stability.

In the recent Fat Cat Incident, the male protagonist, Fat Cat, came from a broken native family and lacked a sense of security, so he longed to establish a marriage relationship to gain safety and warmth. However, because he met someone unkind, it led to tragedy.

In real life, there are also many women who are unhappy in their original families. They find their partners the day after tomorrow and are healed in marriage. They will be healed by their partners and gain security, protection and support from their partners.

There is a very popular movie in Japan called “My Husband Has Depression”. The movie tells the story of a couple going through the most difficult days together.The male protagonist suffers from depression due to work pressure and sleep problems, but he is afraid that his wife will worry, so he deliberately hides it from her.

Later, he was discovered by his wife, who tried every means to help her husband come out and went through hardships. During this period, I was discouraged and thought about giving up.In the end, the two of them persisted, and the male protagonist finally recovered, and the two of them cried with joy.

From this movie, we see the most beautiful appearance of marriage.The need for belonging and love prompts people to instinctively seek a reliable love, with the goal of entering into marriage.When two people are together, they can lean on each other, help each other, and keep each other company. It is not just physical needs, but also a kind of companionship deep in the heart.Therefore, most women get married simply because of likes, needs, and love. 

02. Marriage promotes women’s value-added growth

The two highest levels of Maslow’s needs theory are self-actualization needs and transcendence needs.Self-actualization needs refer to people’s pursuit of realizing their own abilities or potential and perfecting them.Transcendence needs means that a person’s motivation is beyond personal and self-values.The need for self-realization, simply put, is the process of a person pursuing self-growth and self-value on the basis of the original. 

Under what circumstances does a person grow the fastest? The answer lies in experience and imperfection.

John Guttman said: “Love is not everything about marriage, and conflict is not the only theme of marriage.”

From the famous sayings of this famous person, we summarize the truth about marriage: marriage is about love, affection, and conflicts.

From the most beautiful love at the beginning, to the trivial quarrels over firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, tea, children, homework, and housework, they will always waste a woman’s youth and years. The most commonly heard sentence is “What does marriage bring to women?”

The prototype of “She Disappeared” is Wang Nuannuan, who was pushed off a mountain cliff by her gambling husband and almost died; a beautiful teacher in Shanghai was killed and dismembered by her devilish husband; and a lady from Hangzhou was killed and dismembered by her husband.

All these factors have caused many women to lose confidence in marriage.

However, this is not the whole truth. In real marriage, the plain and trivial days are the best way for women to grow. In love and family relationships, women learn to accompany each other. Be with your partner, be with your children, be with yourself.Marriage also wears away many of women’s edges, allowing them to handle interpersonal relationships more intelligently, and at the same time allows them to sum up the meaning of life in plainness.

Marriage encourages women to show their best side, because who wouldn’t be sincere to their husbands, children, and the person they love most in the world?

Especially in this utilitarian society, love and family affection in marriage are extremely precious, and women can calmly write disguises and masks in marriage.

In order to run a marriage and establish a good parent-child relationship, women also need to constantly learn and recharge.Children’s homework and children’s play all require a mother who keeps pace with the times. In order to catch up with her husband, women will continue to learn and improve, and keep in sync with their husbands.

I have seen many women who were just little girls before marriage, with no desires and desires. After getting married and having children, they have the desire to make money. Driven by this desire, they will deliberately practice their abilities and not lose touch with society. Therefore, marriage promotes women’s growth and is also a woman’s value-added period.

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