Life

Unlocking Relationship Growth Through Travel Adventures

Hey there, travel enthusiasts! Ever wondered how those road trips and getaways with your partner can actually strengthen your bond? Well, let’s dive into the exciting world of travel experiences in intimate relationships!

So, you know that trend of “breaking up after a trip”? Turns out, it’s not all doom and gloom. In fact, a well-planned travel adventure can be the key to nurturing your relationship and taking it to the next level.

Imagine this: open communication, shared expenses, mutual understanding, and unwavering support – all essential qualities that can blossom during your travel escapades. From handling unexpected situations to staying flexible with your travel plans, every challenge becomes an opportunity to grow together.

Money matters, right? Well, discussing finances openly and honestly, maybe even setting up a joint account, can help avoid conflicts and strengthen your financial trust.

Planning a trip? It’s not just about booking flights and hotels. It’s about teamwork, compromise, and celebrating each other’s roles and efforts in making the journey memorable.

And when things don’t go as planned – like that hotel room that didn’t quite match the photos – supporting each other through disappointments and staying positive can turn a hiccup into a bonding moment.

Remember, travel isn’t just about ticking off destinations on your bucket list. It’s a psychological adventure that deepens your understanding, trust, and support for each other, creating memories that will last a lifetime.

So, pack your bags, grab your partner’s hand, and embark on a journey of love, growth, and unforgettable experiences. Happy travels!

A while ago, a friend and his girlfriend of two years went on a large-scale self-driving trip. The two of us traveled to 7 cities all over the world in 15 days, with a total self-driving mileage of more than 4,000 kilometers.

When it comes to traveling as a couple, people’s first reaction will be beautiful memories, but another buzzword often seen on social media is “breakup after travel” – there are countless things big or small during the trip. , two people need to discuss and decide. In this process, lifestyle, consumption concepts and even personality itself may be the source of conflict.

Fortunately, two of my friends submitted a high-quality answer sheet. Not only did they enjoy a wonderful trip, but after returning, their relationship was even better than before, and they even began to consider getting married.

In the process of listening to them talk about travel, I gradually understood why their travel went so smoothly, and I also saw the simple, beautiful and sincere qualities contained in a good relationship.

 In an intimate relationship, It is necessary to take the initiative to talk about money

Travel often involves a lot of expenses, and the costs are complicated. If you don’t clearly discuss how to spend money in the early stage, the two parties will deal with the money relationship in an unclear and negative state, which can easily lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

In studies of long-term relationships, psychologists found that fights over money accounted for 40 percent of all fights in relationships. Money issues are one of the main causes of conflict in relationships .

Moreover, conflicts involving money are often the most persistent, recurring, and most destructive to relationships.

My friend also expressed his confusion about money in the early stages of planning for the trip. This trip takes a long time and the distance is long. The expenses such as accommodation, car rental, gas, and meals add up to a large amount. Who will pay for different parts of the money and how to pay are all issues. AA is a safer solution, but he never knew how to talk about money.

Unexpectedly, after the budget was basically determined, the girl proactively and generously chatted with her friends about how to spend money. Not only did he carefully calculate the expenses, he also proposed to establish a joint account, and each person would deposit half of the possible expenses into the joint account. All large expenses for traveling would be borne by the joint account.

Because you are renting a car and driving yourself, the basic expenses after making an appointment are transparent and fixed, which avoids a lot of unexpected expenses. The budget you set when you get up early is more accurate, and the problems that may be caused by money are resolved in this way.

Shared accounts are indeed a good way for couples to manage expenses. People’s mentality and finances are all transparent, which naturally avoids the possibility of misunderstandings. Moreover, from a psychological perspective, shared accounts also subtly affect the quality of intimate relationships.

A 2022 study found that couples who set up joint accounts had better relationship satisfaction and were less likely to break up.

In this study, psychologists pointed out that the stability of the relationship brought about by establishing a joint account is not just due to solving the money problem. The increase in “self-other overlap” between the two parties also enhances the relationship. key factor for stability.

Self-other overlap refers to the fact that in an intimate relationship, the psychological boundaries between the individual and others become blurred, and both parties merge emotionally and cognitively with each other. Simply put, it’s about building things that can be referred to as “our”, such as our homes, our photo albums, our cats, and our joint accounts.

Research has found that, whether in friendship or love, the higher the degree of self-other overlap, the more stable, healthy and lasting the relationship between the two parties. This is because self-other overlap increases mutual understanding, trust, and support, thereby enhancing relationship intimacy and satisfaction.

The existence of a shared account turns money, an important and slightly embarrassing thing, into a psychological connection between two people. It can be said to kill two birds with one stone!

 Keys to building a good relationship: mutual understanding

“Did you make your travel plans and strategies for this trip by one person, or by both of you?” This is one of the questions I most want to ask them. When I learned that travel guides are mainly completed by friends and girlfriends, I became even more curious about their travel process.

Because in my opinion, making travel guides is both technical and physical work. In addition, when traveling, the person who makes the guide will also bear more responsibilities and pressures during the trip, so it is also a type of emotional labor.

At this time, the performance of the other person is tested. The most terrifying situation I have seen is when one party is doing the strategy, the other party is the “hands-off shopkeeper” and does not participate at all. What’s more, they will find fault and complain during the trip, which is extremely unfair to the guide.

Fortunately, my two friends had a very detailed communication on this matter. They said that the reason why a girl is responsible for making guides is because she likes it and is good at it. At the same time, her friends serve as assistants and will respond at any time when encountering complicated matters such as looking up maps, looking at prices, and making comparisons.

Psychologist Robert Selman proposed a theory called “Role-Taking”, which describes the ability to understand other people’s thoughts and emotions, and at the same time understand how one’s actions will affect others.

My friend obviously has this ability. When his girlfriend was doing the strategy, he did two things very well:

  • Understand the responsibilities the other party assumes when making strategies and the emotions they may have;
  • He knows how his reaction will affect the other person, so he will actively respond and participate to make the other person feel supported.

On the other hand, the girl also expressed her thoughts. She said her friend drove the entire trip, which was also hard work. So she, who is sitting in the passenger seat, will help look at the navigation and play music from time to time. Even if she is very tired, she will insist on chatting with her friends. From making strategies to driving during the journey, the two people’s performances are very consistent, and they can see each other from each other’s perspective. They also know how to understand each other’s problems.

This state is doomed to mean that many possible conflicts will have been resolved before they occur.

 An unexpected situation occurs, To accommodate the other person’s bad moods

They had another encounter on the way: the decoration and environment of the hotel they booked were far different from the online description. The sound insulation effect of the room was poor, the hot water was unstable, and a cigarette butt was even found in the corner of the bedside table.

In addition, the trip that day was quite long, and it was already after ten o’clock in the evening when we arrived at the hotel, which made my friend and girlfriend collapse immediately. She couldn’t hold back all the negative emotions, and her face was full of unhappiness.

When many people encounter this situation, they may be infected by bad emotions, and even complain, “Why didn’t you choose the hotel when you booked it yourself?”

He first listened patiently to the other party’s complaints, comforted the other party’s emotions, and then decisively decided to change hotels – he knew that his girlfriend couldn’t stand such a bad environment, and even if he wasted a room fee, even if he had to travel an extra distance, he would just change to another place to live. worth.

This is also the benefit of self-driving travel. If an accident occurs, you can drive and adjust the itinerary at any time. The radius of movement of the car is large enough, allowing the two people traveling to have greater autonomy.

From a girl’s point of view, what friends do is great. This kind of support felt in an intimate relationship is the basis for building a stable relationship  .

 Image source: “Extraordinary Lawyer Yu Yingyu”

This trip also made them both feel that their relationship had entered a very stable and mature state. This is what psychologist Hatfield describes as “compassionate love” .

 Partners in this state tend to:

  • Caring deeply about the other person, truly understanding the other person, and being committed to supporting the other person in good times and bad
  •  Love each other despite disagreements and help each other

With these, there is a foundation for a stable and long-lasting deep relationship. For such two people, no matter whether it is an accident during travel or friction in daily life, it will not have a fatal impact. Emotional maturity and stability will be like a big net, stably supporting the two of them.

 Stay open and flexible,

 In order to better enjoy the journey and scenery

 During their journey, there was also an “active accident”.

Although they made plans, the actual distance they traveled was more arbitrary. They would stay a few more days when they saw a place they liked, and drive away immediately when they saw something they didn’t like. They even impulsively flew to a city that was not part of the plan. After renting a car again, we played wildly for two days.

When I heard them talking about this experience, I couldn’t help but want to ask: wouldn’t this kind of “stepping on the watermelon rind” style of itinerary collapse if you meet someone who is prone to being serious and has a strong sense of planning? After all, changes are made as soon as they are announced, many things have to be adjusted, and a lot of negotiation and communication processes are required. For a J person like me, I can foresee a lot of trouble.

They said: That’s right, so why don’t you choose to rent a car and drive yourself from the beginning? Even if one of them plans the route, this method of travel itself provides a certain amount of flexibility to accommodate unexpected impulses during the journey.

error: Content is protected !!