Life

Embracing Self-Worth in Love: Be True to Yourself

In the whirlwind of romance, it’s easy to lose sight of who we are. But here’s the real deal – love should uplift, not mold us into someone we’re not. It’s all about staying true to ourselves while navigating the dance of love.

Forget about changing who you are to fit someone else’s ideal. Good love celebrates your uniqueness, not your ability to conform. Remember, you’re a catch just the way you are!

Ever heard of the “Matthew Effect” and the “Barnum Effect”? They’re reminders that bending over backward for someone can lead to more demands and less respect. So, hold onto your self-worth and let your authenticity shine.

As the wise Su Qin once said, the best way to love someone is by being the best version of yourself. Embrace your individuality, cherish your worth, and watch how love blossoms in its truest form – rooted in self-respect and genuine connection.

Good love always requires you to dare to be yourself.
Roy Clift wrote in “Love”: “I love you, not only because of who you are, but also because of who I am when I am with you.”
When you love someone, everyone becomes another person because of this love.
Some love will make people more positive. When you are with that person, you will definitely get the most and the most companionship.
But there is also some love that always makes you question yourself.
Just like some time ago, a reader friend asked me: My boyfriend always thinks that I am not good enough, how should I change it?
She speaks too loudly, and her boyfriend says she is too noisy; she weighs about 100 pounds, and her boyfriend says she is too fat and should lose weight; she has a stable job, but her boyfriend thinks she makes too little money.
In short, it seems that there is no way to satisfy the other party except changing yourself, but if you really change, are you still you?
When meeting love, many people hope that their partner only has eyes for themselves, and they will change a lot in order to get the other person’s recognition. However, you still have to understand that if you love someone again, don’t listen to the other person’s everything.

1
If you don’t have your own opinion in love, you will often lose your unique charm.
I have watched a domestic animated short film “Plastic Surgery” before. This short film tells such a story:
A pretty girl was walking on the street and accidentally saw a flyer for plastic surgery. The girl on the flyer was particularly beautiful, and she was very moved.
So, she walked into the hospital and transformed herself into the one on the flyer. As expected, many people appreciated her.
But this appreciation did not last long, because everyone’s aesthetics changed, and the models on the flyers also changed, so she went for another plastic surgery.
Once or twice in the end, she insisted on keeping up with the trends in other people’s eyes. In the end, her once “natural beauty” became a trend, and unfortunately she could not go back.
In relationships, many people are obsessed with making themselves look like their lover is satisfied, and will even constantly change themselves for the sake of love. However, is this really necessary?
There are always reasons why a person is loved, and those reasons are your unique charm.

Before you change, if a person falls in love with you because of their appreciation for you, this is an admission to you. If you care too much about what the other person thinks and change yourself because of a joke, you may end up losing your unique charm. .
Everyone’s life and love are often only closely related to themselves.
What you are looking for is a partner who has the same goals as you, rather than being accepted by “please” one person, because when you have no opinion, you are no longer you.
Just like Tong Liya, although she was a little unsure before she met Chen Sicheng, at least she had her own unique characteristics and could always be remembered by fans.
After meeting Chen Sicheng, Tong Liya humbled herself into the dust.
Chen Sicheng said that her long hair looked good, but she never wanted to cut it short; Chen Sicheng didn’t like to be controlled, and she never asked about the other person’s plans; Chen Sicheng said that it was okay to fall in love with someone else, and she said, “Just go home.”
In the end, Tong Liya was still betrayed by Chen Sicheng. The sweet words no longer counted, and Tong Liya’s “love” turned into a tenderness that Chen Sicheng was unwilling to bear.

The reason has to do with Chen Sicheng’s character and the way Tong Liya loves.
At the beginning, she was attractive in appearance, but because she had no independent opinion, she did not dare to change her look easily, which led to a person’s aesthetic fatigue; later, she was virtuous enough, but because she had no independent opinion, she kept enduring Chen Sicheng’s bad habits, which led to her forgetfulness. To cherish her.
In relationships, sometimes you know what you want, and only then can others give you. Only when you know what kind of life you want, can you live the kind of life you want.
If you always listen to the other person’s words, you are destined to lose your own ideas. In this process, you lose your own opinion and your original charm will naturally be reduced.
2
Being too “submissive” will not make a person like you more.
In relationships, a misunderstanding that many people have is that they think that they can get love if they are “obedient” or willing to “submit” to the other person.
So after meeting love, there are many people who are willing to change themselves, and there are also many people who are willing to listen to the other person’s words. But what will be the consequences of doing so? Let’s answer this from a psychological perspective.
Matthew Effect: Your “obedience” will only get more demands from the other party

Bullying those who are easier to bully is actually something that many people do, and this is the famous “Matthew Effect” in psychology – the effect in which the strong become stronger and the weak become weaker.

For example, if the other person asks you to do their own laundry, it may be in a questioning tone at the beginning. When you agree without thinking and are proud of it, most of the laundry in the future will be yours, even if the person asks you to do it next time. When you do this, you don’t even ask.
Similarly, when you listen too much to the other person in a relationship and take whatever the other person says, in the end, that person will only make more and more demands on you.
This change is not necessarily a sign of not loving you enough, but it must be the result of your excessive “weakness”.
Veblen Effect: The more “obedient” you are, the less likely you are to be cherished

Economists have found that when an item is priced higher, it is easier to stimulate other people’s desire to buy. This is the reason why many luxury goods are so expensive.
This phenomenon, known as the “Veblen effect”, is also widely used in love psychology.
For example, in a relationship, is it easier to cherish someone who you love very much and who you have sacrificed a lot for? Or is it easier to cherish a person who loves you very much and does a lot for you?
It is often the former, because you have paid and you know how difficult the process of getting is, which inspires your desire to protect and cherish the other person.
In a relationship, when you “submit” to someone too much, you do pay a lot, and it can prove that you love the other person very much, but such behavior really won’t make a person like you more.

3
In relationships, rather than being loved, loving yourself is the correct way to get love.
Just like the writer Su Qin once said: “The best way to love someone is to take good care of yourself and give the other person a high-quality lover. If you don’t do your best to be good to a person, that person will love you desperately. Emotions in this world are inevitable. The realistic side: you have value and your efforts will be valued.”
Loving yourself is actually not an easy thing, but it is definitely something that can enhance your own value.
For example, allocate some time to yourself every day to ask questions, and force yourself to keep fit. If you are in better shape and more valuable, the other person will naturally like you more.
Another example is to allocate some of the time you spend doing laundry and cooking for each other to yourself every day, talk to one more client, and work overtime for a while. The stronger your independence is, you will not become a yellow-faced woman, and you can afford it. Nanny, that person will naturally love you more.
Sometimes what the other half says is really important. It represents his opinion on you and his suggestions for the development of the relationship between the two of you. But there is no need to listen to everything the other half says.
You know what kind of life you want, and when you have different ideas of your own, you are still the same person you once were and will be more easily loved.
This is a way to maintain your unique charm, and it is also a way to gain respect.

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