Life

Navigating the Waves of Love: Embracing Change in Relationships

Hey, lovebirds! Ever felt like the spark in your relationship is flickering a bit? Don’t sweat it – it’s totally normal! Love isn’t always a blazing fire; it’s more like a cozy campfire that needs a little stoking now and then.

As time goes by, it’s natural for the intensity of love to ebb and flow. The initial rush of passion mellows into a deeper, more nuanced connection. Understanding and adapting to this natural evolution is key to keeping the flame alive.

So, how do you keep the love boat sailing smoothly when the waters get a bit choppy? One way is to focus on enhancing your own allure. Invest in self-improvement, pursue your passions, and rediscover what makes you irresistible to your partner.

Remember, love is a journey with different phases – from coexistence to interdependence. Embracing these stages can help you navigate through the waves of change in your relationship with grace and understanding.

So, don’t fret if the honeymoon phase fades; it’s all part of the beautiful dance of love. Embrace the evolution, cherish the journey, and let your love story unfold in its unique and magical way.

Before you love someone, you should understand that love is difficult to be vigorous all the time.

Many people yearn for the feeling of growing old together after falling in love and being pampered in love, but this feeling is actually a “luxury wish”.

As written in “A Woman from Time to Time”: “All my life, I long to be collected by someone, placed properly, and preserved carefully. To prevent me from being surprised, to prevent me from suffering, to prevent me from wandering around, and to prevent me from having no branches to rely on. But that person, I knew, I always knew, that he would never come.”

The reason that person will never come is not that it is difficult for you to meet such a person, but that someone who loves you so much, such pure love almost never exists.

Love cannot be summed up in terms of “greatness” and “selflessness”. From a biological point of view, love is just the feeling of falling in love when two people produce various love hormones during the process of contact.

However, these love hormones will gradually decrease over time, so when you are in love, you feel that the love is weak. This is actually a normal state in love.

And when two people can reach the end, what maintains their relationship is not just love hormones. Sometimes it is the sense of responsibility for each other. Sometimes it depends on how you promote the production of love hormones. Sometimes it depends on each other. Habits, long-term dependence on each other.

Therefore, in order to prevent love from “getting weaker and weaker”, there are some truths that you must understand today.

01

When you feel that love has faded, many times you just get used to love, which leads to “misunderstanding”. Only when you can face it reasonably can the relationship not really fade.

In psychology, there is a term called “sensory adaptation phenomenon”.

This term is easy to explain. It means that if you stay in an environment for a long time, you will naturally adapt to the environment. If you love someone for a long time, you will also adapt to the other person’s existence.

In the past, a rose could make your heart beat faster, and saying “I love you” would make you suddenly blush. In the later stage, the love you have experienced will no longer make you react too much.

At this time, has the love between two people really faded away, or has they no longer loved each other?

Maybe not, it’s just that you have adapted to love and you don’t feel the existence of love, because the other person’s love for you has become a daily life, and your love for the other person has become a subconscious reaction.

Just like a few days ago, I had a party with a few friends. From morning to night, friends who were in love with their partners were busy chatting with their significant other, even if they just had a meal.

On the contrary, those friends who have been in love for a long time or have been married to their partners almost never sent messages to their partners until the party was over, and then they called to report their itinerary.

Maybe many people have this feeling. When they first fell in love, they wanted to be together every day. Later, after falling in love for a long time, daily indifference became the norm.

During this process, some people could not accept this change and broke up on the grounds that “the love has faded”, while others understood that sometimes, “the love has faded” is the only way for a relationship.

Just like most old couples, few would talk about “love”. The “love” they want to say has become “I won’t work overtime today” and “I will pick up the children tomorrow.” , “You should go to bed early today.”

These words may sound very plain, but what they hide is a person’s care and love for you. Not misunderstanding this kind of love is the prerequisite for maintaining the relationship. Otherwise, the person who loves you will also There will be a day when you feel that “love has faded away”.

02

What we have to admit is that love really does fade. When love really fades, improving one’s own value and rebuilding attraction are the best ways to maintain love.

Just like the love hormones mentioned earlier, a lot of love occurs because of these love hormones.

When the power of love hormones gradually decreases and the conflicts between two people gradually increase, that person feels that it is too tiring to be with you, and will have the idea of ​​​​leaving, and the love will really fade.

The best response at this time is to change yourself in an appropriate way, either to reshape your attractiveness and enhance the effect of love hormones, or to make yourself valuable and enhance the meaning of your existence.

Although the purpose of the two is different, the method is the same. You have to make yourself valuable, which not only creates attraction, but also enhances the meaning of your existence.

Just like Luo Zijun in “The First Half of My Life”, when Chen Junsheng wanted to divorce her, Luo Zijun made a fuss and didn’t understand it. At that time, Chen Junsheng had almost no mercy.

However, when Luo Zijun had his own life, began to let go of the past and start over, and appeared in front of Chen Junsheng with another identity, Chen Junsheng regretted it.

Why this happens is actually because Luo Zijun has improved his attractiveness.

While the two were maintaining their marriage, Luo Zijun, as a full-time wife, blindly relied on her husband, causing her own value to drop again and again, and her attractiveness to become less and less attractive. As a result, Chen Junsheng fell in love with Ling Ling.

After the divorce, Luo Zijun had his own ideas and started his own career. When faced with his ex-husband being with other women, he was generous and neither arrogant nor impetuous. This made Chen Junsheng feel sorry for Luo Zijun and began to reflect on himself. This is the reason why Chen Junsheng regrets it.

Yi Shu once said: “Emotions must be strictly controlled. If you indulge in self-compassion, you will become more and more depressed.”

When love fades, people who love too deeply will always want to question the other person and ask the other person to take responsibility for themselves, but if you do this, you will only make yourself less and less attractive.

On the contrary, you can learn to increase your attractiveness. When you don’t focus on love, if you are excellent, others will naturally not leave you. Moreover, even if that person still doesn’t love you, your attractiveness will also help them. You bring new love and allow you to meet people who will cherish you.

03

Love that can last forever must survive the dullness of love.

According to love psychology, the development process of love is generally divided into four stages – coexistence period, anti-dependence period, independence period, and symbiosis period.

The coexistence period is a period when two people are passionately in love and always want to stay together; the anti-dependence period is a period when conflicts gradually arise, but love can still be maintained; the independence period is a period when conflicts gradually intensify and love gradually becomes dull; the symbiosis period is The two people found a suitable way to get along and began a long period of getting along.

When two people in love cannot survive the anti-dependence period and the independence period, they will not usher in the symbiosis period. Sooner or later, love will end, either with unresolved conflicts or with unbearable “blandness.” .

However, no love can last forever. After most people get together, love becomes easier and duller.

Only if you can persist in loving each other in daily life with the person you want to love, will it be possible to get to the end.
And the “increasing fading” in love is sometimes an inevitable experience, and sometimes it can be solved. Only by understanding this can it be easier to survive the dullness.

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