Unlocking the Secrets of Failed Marriages

Ever wondered what truly leads to the breakdown of marriages? Trust issues, character flaws, mismatched expectations – these are just a few culprits behind the disintegration of once-solid unions. Through real-life anecdotes, we witness the harsh realities of these marital pitfalls in action.

Trust, the cornerstone of any marriage, crumbles when suspicion takes root. Character traits play a significant role; after all, the essence of a person shapes the essence of a relationship. Then there’s the clash of differences between partners, an inevitable part of married life that demands careful navigation.

But here’s the revelation: marriage isn’t just the culmination of love; it’s a journey that requires relentless effort from both parties. It’s not about reaching the finish line but about continuously nurturing and upholding a bond that stands the test of time.

In the intricate tapestry of relationships, understanding the root causes of marital discord is the first step towards fostering enduring and fulfilling partnerships. Let’s delve deeper into the complexities of failed marriages, learning from their missteps to enrich our own relationships.

People who believe that love will last forever are either love-minded or do not understand love.

Observing carefully, we often find marriages like this:

Some couples, after many years of long-distance love, can no longer bear it not long after they get married;

Some old couples have spent half their lives, their children have grown up, and they have experienced countless ups and downs together, but they still choose to go their separate ways.

Isn’t the love we have been together for many years sincere enough? Or is it not worth spending more than half of your life together? …?

Perhaps neither.

Because leaving someone you once loved is not an easy decision. So why exactly does this happen?

Some people say that they only realize once they get married that love and marriage are different. Two people who have tasted the sweetness cannot stand the triviality of marriage;

Some people say that they have been patient for half their lives, just waiting for their children to grow up and break free from the prison of marriage.

It seems that each statement has its own truth, but it is not so accurate. Because divorce is never that simple and casual.

As writer Lian Yue said: Divorce is an act of correcting mistakes.

In fact, after more experience, you will understand that what really causes the breakdown of a marriage is not dullness or dislike of each other, but trust, character, and differences.

01 “trust”
In a marriage without trust, love is an empty shell.

Trust is the basis for any relationship between people.

If the sense of trust is lost, then the marriage that is forcibly maintained is just lingering, and one party will always choose to leave because of suffocation.

This is the case with Gu Jia’s marriage in the TV series “Only Thirty”.

She and her husband Xu Huanshan met in college and they have a son. We have always supported each other and experienced many things together.

In order to let her son enter a good kindergarten and to help her husband’s fireworks company business, Gu Jia put down her dignity and was willing to carry shoes and bags for Mrs. Fu.

In order to support Gu Jia, her husband did not hesitate to spend all the company’s working capital to help her buy a brand-name bag as a stepping stone.

Facing the company’s operating difficulties and her husband getting angry with her, Gu Jia did not avoid it and accompanied her husband to actively deal with it;

Similarly, when faced with Gu Jia’s mistake in investing in a tea factory and being defrauded, her husband did not blame or complain, but faced it together.

No matter who looks at it, the two of them are a model couple.

However, the husband still could not withstand the temptation and cheated on her. Even if he sincerely regrets afterwards, even if his wife Gu Jia won’t forgive him, he will still guard her for the rest of his life.

Even though it was extremely painful, even though her husband had indeed learned a lesson and would never do it again, Gu Jia still chose to divorce, because no matter how good the relationship between husband and wife is, once trust is lost, everything is empty talk.

Franklin once said: If you make a mistake, you may recover immediately; if you break a promise, you may never recover.

Trust is the basis for maintaining a marriage relationship.

No matter how good a couple is, if they lose trust, they are like a building without a foundation. No matter how beautiful it looks on the outside, it will collapse when the wind blows, and love will cease to exist.

02 “Character”

I really like a passage in the book:

A person’s real capital is not beauty or money, but character. Character is the passport to life. In a cold and fickle era, character is the last reliance of each other’s hearts.

In marriage, when a person’s character is truly revealed, he or she will either stay together till the end of time or break up completely.

Because of this, I am reminded of an experience shared by netizen @京京:

After Jingjing and her husband got married, they did not have much money, but their relationship was good and they soon gave birth to a daughter. Unfortunately, my daughter was born deaf, and her family’s financial situation was not very good. Fortunately, there were relevant policy supports, and through subsidies, I finally got her daughter a hearing aid.

However, facing such a tight life, what the husband thinks about is not working hard or taking good care of his daughter, but insisting that his wife have another boy.

Jingjing’s body suffered a lot of damage when she gave birth for the first time, and there was little hope of getting pregnant naturally again.

However, her husband didn’t care about this. He was so paranoid that he had to sell the only house in his hometown to undergo in vitro fertilization and give birth to a son.

This man cannot see the difficulties of his family and the hardships of his wife and daughter. He only has the old ideas of favoring sons over daughters and carrying on the family line in his mind.

After being subjected to a series of “operations to have a boy” from her husband, Jingjing finally calmed down and found that she didn’t really understand him before. Only after this happened did she see clearly what her husband really was like.

At this moment, she made up her mind with only two words in her mind: divorce.

Ren’s husband later sincerely repented and made a promise not to have any more children, and Jingjing never looked back.

Because she has clearly seen her husband’s character.

Character is the most basic quality of a person and the simplest connotation of a person.

In the final analysis, marriage is about living with someone. If this person does not meet the lower limit of ordinary people in terms of character, and his words and deeds are unacceptable, instead of maintaining the status quo for the sake of family and children, it is better to leave as soon as possible to avoid being dragged out of the quagmire.

Therefore, there is no doubt that love will disappear when faced with a person of low character.

03 “disagreement”

In fact, married life is always full of differences.

Issues as small as whether to put soy sauce in this dish, as big as how many children to have, buying a house or a car, etc. are related to the direction of family development.

It is not terrible to have differences. What is terrible is that differences make two people go further and further apart.

Netizen Monster shared his story.

He and his wife got married early and have been living in their hometown in the countryside. The couple worked hard for several years and saved hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The wife hopes to buy a house with a mortgage in the city so that it is convenient for the children to go to school, but he disagrees and says that it is best to buy a car because it will give you dignity when driving out and buy the house later. The two had a big fight over the matter, and finally he drove the car home behind his wife’s back.

Later, housing prices soared, and many relatives and friends rushed to buy new houses on the last train. The couple was anxious, but no matter how hard they worked, they could not keep up with the rising housing prices.

Looking at other people settling down and buying houses in the city, they have no other assets to sell except a heavily depreciated car.

It is conceivable that because of this incident, he suffered a lot of complaints from his wife.

Whenever the husband and wife quarrel about something, the wife will bring it up. “If you had listened to me and bought a house, how could you have so many things happening now!”

His own insistence has caused the entire family to fall behind, and it has also given his wife a “magic weapon” to win in any disagreement, big or small.

Later, the little monster couldn’t bear it anymore and filed for divorce.

He admitted that he had done something wrong at first, but his wife’s behavior of “beating up a drowned dog” was hard for him to accept.

His wife never let go of what happened back then. In order to correct that mistake, in order to make money, he worked two more jobs, took the initiative to do housework when he got home, and always taught his children to be considerate of their mother’s difficulties, but these My wife can’t even see it.

She only saw that the people around her had bought houses in the city, but they had been living in their hometowns in the countryside.

In fact, it is normal for husband and wife to have differences and quarrels. The scary thing is that after the quarrel, the two people’s hearts are separated a little bit. If each disagreement causes a larger crack, then over a long period of time, the two people may lose each other. It is difficult to communicate normally and we already live in completely different worlds.

A writer once said: The marriage of two people is the loneliness of one person.

If the gap caused by differences cannot be filled, no matter how much love there is between two people, it will eventually be exhausted.

I very much agree with what a blogger said:

Many people always talk about protecting marriage, but in fact no one threatens us. What really threatens marriage is the desire in the heart!

A very simple sentence, but it tells the truth about the breakdown of marriage.

In fact, I also know that many people are worried that the other person will be very different after marriage. Some people even have the idea of ​​​​divorcing, but due to various reasons, they have never actually implemented it.

So, facing…,…?

Some people say: There is no love in marriage, but for the sake of the children, you should live on if you can.

Others said: Seeing the other person will only make you feel uncomfortable and painful. Is it necessary for such a marriage to exist?

But I want to say that in fact, right and wrong have no meaning anymore. Everyone has their own answer in their heart, and they will not change their position easily because of other people’s words.

What we only need to know is that no matter what kind of marriage, under the subtle influence of trivial matters, it will gradually become dull, and the passion that used to be so fiery will slowly turn into a stable, comfortable, and silent love.

But there is nothing wrong with this kind of love.

Because life is long, it is impossible for me to spend all my love on creating a sense of romantic rituals. We have work, family responsibilities and obligations, and many things to do.

Therefore, one day you will find that what we really need in marriage is someone who can be with us through thick and thin and support us at any time.

Finally, I hope every reader can be lucky enough to meet such “fate”.

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