Do you sometimes think about why people do what they do? Maybe you think more often: Why do you do what you do?
Why do you often make the wrong time planning, give up the goals you originally set, and even choose the worse plan when you are free to choose? Why don’t you put more effort into things that make you feel happy and bring a sense of direction to your life?
As for interpersonal relationships, have you noticed that the same themes often lead to interpersonal conflicts? Some people hit it off with you and you can reach a good consensus, but you and others can’t communicate at all, or in some relationships, you are exhausted due to too much effort.
When we choose to communicate with whom, what factors influence our decision? Why do we continue to compare ourselves with our neighbors, colleagues or relatives, and why do we resent ourselves for being inferior? What are the factors behind all this?
The operation of human behavior is often irrational. There are ups and downs in our emotions, of course, there are always challenges between people. Although the times have changed, mankind has not changed. For 200,000 years, the mode of operation of mankind has remained the same. Some researchers claim that humans have operated in the same way for more than 200,000 years.
What invisible, human-derived forces are shaping our thoughts, behaviors and actions? With this clear, the more thorough our understanding of the factors that shape human behavior will be, the simpler our lives will be, and we will be able to build better relationships with other people, and even improve our relationships with ourselves.
Motivation 1: interpersonal
our bodies there is a hormone called “oxytocin” which is sometimes called lactation hormones, or hormones calm. When we communicate with others or hug, the concentration of oxytocin in the body will increase. Studies have even shown that when a person’s oxytocin concentration rises, his or her behavior will be more considerate and generous.
The fact is, you only need to show a little trust in someone, and the concentration of oxytocin in their body will increase. At the same time, certain behaviors or wording can reduce the concentration of oxytocin in the opponent’s body. In other words, our behavior affects the concentration of oxytocin in other people’s bodies, which in turn affects our interpersonal relationships. Judging from the current situation today, there are a series of factors in our lifestyle that reduce the concentration of oxytocin in the body, which in turn harms interpersonal relationships.
Stress is one of them. Other factors include lack of trust and empathy. Fortunately, as long as you know the reasons, you can cope with these challenges. These precious information are indispensable in any workplace and all families.
Motivation 2: position
when we get position, with the body’s serotonin aldosterone concentration increases. When we attain a higher status, we feel exhilarated and feel better about ourselves. We strive to reach the top and collect status symbols along the way. However, these symbols may be different from what you intuitively think. This does not stop at expensive handbags, cars and Rolex gold watches. Anything related to you personally and the activity group you belong to may become a symbol of status.
For one person, the most powerful evidence of success is the publication of a book; for another person, the symbol of success may be a strong physique and completion of triathlon; others have a score for their college entrance exam. I am proud of it and regard being the chairman of the community management committee as an achievement.
Status is full of meaning. The process of natural selection has developed human beings into a creature interested in status. Our neurochemistry has taken the lead, making us care about our position. When we are progressing well and gain more influence, our neurochemistry will use this positive feeling to manipulate us; when we are not going well, or when we find that others are living much better than ourselves, neurochemistry will pass Negative emotions affect us.
Motivation 3: Knowledge
urging our third force, that our curiosity and thirst for knowledge. Humans are species that search for knowledge. According to the 17th-century philosopher Thomas Hobbes, humans need to understand “why”.
As humans have a deeper understanding of the surrounding environment, our chances of survival are higher. Primitive humans learn and understand how to make fires, how weather changes affect certain species, and how to catch beasts in the least labor-saving way. Our ancestors who have knowledge have the advantage of survival probability, and inherit this advantage to us today.
”The more we understand the world we are in, the greater the chance of survival”, because the evolutionary process gives us the instinct to find new knowledge. When we successfully acquire new knowledge, the reward center in the brain will be activated and secrete dopamine. The way we collect information is similar to the way other mammals collect food and water. The fact is that “the feeling of acquiring some new knowledge” can be compared to a delicious meal. We like facts and love to learn new things.
