People have to keep angry with themselves

  Some time ago, I chatted with a friend who works in the media and talked about the situation facing each other, and I was very frustrated.
  My friend said that the current media’s topic selection is barren, reporting on Internet celebrity cities, Internet celebrity buildings, and Internet celebrity phenomena-a blind box, almost all the media are writing. Almost all the people reported are Internet celebrities, and the ideas are the same: the grassroots, because a good point has triggered the mass carnival, then? Then there is nothing. Similar manuscripts, whether they read too much or write too much, are very frustrating.
  I said that my recent state is also very depressed, because some time ago I worked a lot, put on makeup for a long time, performed a long intellectual performance in front of the camera, racked my brains to answer: “Do you think reading and writing and beauty/fashion/technology/small household appliances/ What is the relationship between high-performance smart electric vehicles?” In other non-working moments, I also face some “widely discussed” but meaningless questions, such as “How do you cure the pleasing personality?” “You What do you think about the middle-class anxiety and the low desire society of young people?” “Are you saving the cat or saving the art?”
  After exchanging each other’s frustration, my friend and I discovered the root of the problem: we all feel that our work has lost value feel. However, like most work, it is not completely meaningless. It is just that when you look back at the time and energy you put in, you can’t help feeling: “Yes, but it’s not necessary.”
  When I lose my sense of value, I feel frustrated. Share it with other close friends, and the feedback you get is like a pot of cold water: “Most people can’t get a sense of value from work. Work is work. Your pursuit of value is your disease, and you have to cure it.” Once again weakly performing my own breakdown, my friend said anxiously: “Look at you, the mentality is not good.”
  Indeed, my mentality is not always good. Before, someone asked me: “What special ability do you have?” I thought about it, and said: “I have a very strong ability to hate myself.”
  In the experience of self-loathing, I am simply a princess and the pea-when I feel it I am not sincere enough, I feel that I am not brave enough, I feel greedy, I feel stupid and insensitive, I will be bitten by self-loath for a long time, ranging from autism to autism. Before, I lived in a foreign country for a year. I just felt like I was sinking along with the flow in the environment.
  Maybe when people are young, they feel that they are incompatible with the world, that dreams are right and life is wrong. But as the years get older, life mocks dreams and life slowly suffers from the hammer, so the diaphragm should gradually subside, just like a kind of fever is cured.
  When I was a kid, I once interviewed a rock singer. He said that he was angry with himself and others in his early years, and wrote a lot of songs under his anger. Now he lives the life of his wife and children, and he is not angry anymore. I asked in surprise: “Why are you not angry?” He asked in surprise: “Why am I angry?” Then we repeated the above dialogue several times in surprise, and finally he found a perfect answer: “Because I reconciled with myself . the ” ”
  reconciliation “frequency of the word now appears more and more, I certainly believe that there are real people with their reconciliation – inspired honestly face the fate of calm and courage in the pursuit of eternal career, but most of the time When I hear people say “reconciliation with myself”, they often say “I gave up.”
  I forgive, I choose to give up when I feel the gap between my ability and goals; I acquiesce that I spend time and get happiness from things I look down on; I give up and be responsible for myself and others because “I am too difficult “Instead of “I am too weak.” Most of the time, when we say “I have reconciled with myself”, we can’t stand the rhetorical question again and again deep in our hearts, and we want to end the conversation.
  I don’t want this yet.
  In my previous article, I talked about Schilling’s documentary. In the film, she had a sentence that impressed me: “People should keep angry
  with themselves .” Keeping angry with one’s incompetence and laziness is a kind of ability. , Not a disease. Just like drinking alcohol will vomit, it is a protective stress response. When one day you will not vomit, it is not because your body becomes better and the amount of alcohol increases, but because your tolerance becomes stronger. Lost this self-protection mechanism.
  Vomiting is painful, just like anger, torture, and pursuit, all painful. There are always people in the world who have high demands on life, and are not reconciled to their stupidity and rudeness. When I can still feel the pain, I know that I am still among these people.