I never talked to Barbara about my first marriage. It didn’t make any sense to do so, because it was a long time before I met her, and that marriage was very short. I didn’t expect to be with my current marriage. There is any intersection.
My ex-wife is Brenda. As a student, she left Birmingham and came to the United States for a year of exchange study. In that year, we met and we soon got married. Although Brenda has a gift for languages, she is not interested in learning. She is the kind of girl who loves to giggle. British girls like her were very popular in the United States in the late 1960s, when the Beatles and other British things were also very popular. At the time, people thought that Goldilocks with white skin and strong calves was a good girl. Strangers who have drunk an extra cup or two pat their ass in a friendly way, and they don’t mind or think bad things. Brenda is such a good girl with kind nature.
But Brenda left me and fell into the arms of a ski instructor. I hired this ski instructor because I felt I needed guidance, but Brenda felt that hiring a coach was a big joke. She might break her leg at any time and spend the whole vacation in the hospital because she hadn’t slipped through the snow at all. The coach is called Hans, and he is an Austrian. He and Brenda have been communicating in German, and I don’t understand German, I don’t know what they are talking about.
I guess I’m too old-fashioned in Brenda’s eyes. She often said: “Dicky, you are too serious.” In the past, only Brenda called me Dicky, and everyone else called me Dick. Now everyone calls me Richard. But Brenda said she liked my serious look, but I felt that she didn’t take long to get tired of me. My mother once warned that Brenda was too frivolous. I met Brenda because I wanted to enter the Indiana University system to study comparative literature. I must be proficient in French and Spanish, and she happens to be a Spanish tutor. After I married her, I was unable to accompany her to play in town every night because I had to prepare for various exams. I don’t blame her for falling in love with Hans, but I subconsciously attribute the failure of the doctoral qualification examination to her departure. Well, the truth is that the competition is too fierce and many people fail the exam. I only got a master’s degree in the end. Once, when I talked about it, Barbara said that my tone was too sad, as if I was about to die. But this degree still helped me find a good job. I teach French and Spanish at a top preparatory school in New York, which is one of the best among all English-speaking countries.
In this school, I met Barbara. Her son failed the Spanish exam. I tried my best to help him and improve his grades. Barbara is more grateful to me than her son Nathan. To be honest, Nathan is not a good student, but surprisingly his parents are very knowledgeable. Barbara’s ex-husband is a famous neurologist, and anyone who loves literature knows Barbara’s name.
In the fifteen years since I met Barbara, I have never heard of Brenda. After three years with Barbara, I married her and we have been married for twelve years now. When I use the word “tie knot,” Barbara always laughs at me as the only antique among the people she knows. Sometimes, she jokingly called me “Langjun”.
Barbara often jokes on me, but I don’t mind at all, and even enjoy it. Her friends would also make jokes with her, sometimes saying vulgar words, and then I would let them get it right. I think her friends think that I am innocent, but they would be surprised if they knew about the ups and downs in the bed with Barbara. If they knew that before I moved into Barbara’s duplex apartment, I had slept with the mothers of many students in the folding bed of my bachelor’s apartment, they would have been shocked.
Barbara’s novels have been translated into several languages. I used to read the English version and the Spanish version. I was surprised to find that there were many errors. For the accuracy of language expression, I will list the errors one by one and send them to the translator. But then Barbara persuaded me not to do this, saying that they would not change a word, only to make her look obsessive-compulsive. I argue that obsessive-compulsive disorder and accuracy are two different things. Barbara said that I should rest, and that she thought about how to consume my energy. After speaking, she pulled me to bed.
Therefore, I didn’t see the Spanish version of her new work until in Madrid. When Brenda’s name came into view, I was struck by lightning.
My ex-wife is the translator of my second wife’s novels. How could this extremely unlikely thing happen? I never thought of such a coincidence, otherwise I would definitely tell Barbara about Brenda. I never thought that Brenda had such a high level to be able to translate Barbara’s novels. You know she abandoned me just as a ski instructor, and Barbara’s work is absolutely top-notch. I suddenly noticed that my two wives’ names have two syllables, and both start with b and end with a, but this discovery is not a big deal.
Brenda did not write to tell Barbara what they have in common. I think this is a good thing, but it is also possible that she didn’t know that I was Barbara’s husband. Barbara thought it was cliché to put too much personal information, so only “Barbara Hanover, now living in New York” was written on the cover, without mentioning my name.
Brenda’s translation of Barbara’s new work is actually not a big deal, but there is one sentence in the book that is very important. However, if she had translated Barbara’s other novels, that sentence was not a big deal at all, and it was just a trivial detail that Brenda might not have noticed at all.
Barbara likes to hear me talk about my love history, but that is not to provoke her erotic desires. She is good at describing human behavior, and she describes my love history as her “fiction material”. It’s like I am married to a doctor and I have to tell the doctor if I am sick.
Brenda has a quirk when making love, she only likes being in the upper position. It’s not a big deal, it’s because she sings a nursery rhyme when she is excited, and she looks silly. “Get on the pony stallion, go to Banbury, to see the beauty riding a white horse,” she sang more and more excited, “beauties are full of rings, and toes are bells.” When singing “Where do you go, where does the music follow” , She will reach a climax. I have to say, this left a deep impression on me.
Barbara happened to use this nursery rhyme in the novel Brenda translated. The main character of the story didn’t say it, it was just interspersed in a romantic affair of the protagonist, and the experience ended in only two pages, so it was inconspicuous. When I told Barbara this nursery rhyme, we had been married for less than a year.
I once suggested to a Spanish publisher that I don’t need an interpreter when interviewing Barbara, because I am proficient in Spanish and know my wife very well. But he refused the offer: “No, no, Mr. Hannover, you can rest or visit this beautiful city.” I said that I had never been to Madrid, and those words were like spilled water. It is impossible to take it back again.
The day I was supposed to meet Brenda, I lied that I was sick. Barbara was used to my stomachache when I was traveling, and she didn’t think much about my lie.
We stayed at the Ritz Hotel in Cybele Plaza, and the Prado Museum was overlooked through the window of the room. God knows how much it costs to live here one night! Sitting on the couch, I finished four bottles of Glenfiddich, and then drank the fifth bottle.
After spending an hour in this way, I saw Barbara come to the piazza and walk towards the hotel door. It seems that she enjoyed a long lunch in accordance with Spanish tradition.
OMG, Barbara doesn’t seem to be alone, there is another woman next to her, and that person is Brenda. I clearly saw them walking under the plane trees in the square. They arm in arm, with the other hand swaying, the black packets in their hands are very similar.
I was suddenly relieved, feeling that everything would be all right. I never remembered that they were the same height. Their hair color is also very similar. Barbara dyed her hair platinum blonde, Brenda may still be natural blonde, after all, we have not seen each other in 30 years.
They didn’t look angry at all.
They were laughing out loud. Now that they went under the awning, my sight was blocked, and I can only guess that they are waiting for the elevator and will appear in the room soon.
I was dressed in decent casual clothes — Booker brothers’ cudgel pants, yellow crocodile shirt, fringed Bally flats — Brenda would be surprised. When I saw her for the last time, I was wearing a Salvation Army uniform, as thin as a straw. Now, Barbara and I work out in the gym three times a week and we are in great health.
I imagined myself facing them smartly. I would imitate Humphrey Bogart’s voice and say: “There are so many pubs in the world, you just walked into this one.” Brenda will definitely laugh.
Now Barbara opened the door.
Closing my eyes, I heard them still laughing.
Barbara called me: “Dear Richard.” Brenda called: “Dickie baby.”
They all felt incredible and kept saying: “It’s interesting.”
That night, we went out to eat, they Asking me to treat, but it’s a bit difficult, because the publisher has already taken care of Barbara’s expenses, but at the time I thought I had better keep silent.
Brenda introduced to the waiter that this was “our husband”. The waiter looked confused, but still nodded and smiled. I think they drank too much champagne. Of course, I am not complaining about them. In fact, I am very grateful for the situation at the time.
One of them would sing “Get on the Stallion” from time to time, and then they both laughed. They hit it off right away, and I couldn’t get in touch all night.
Of course, I don’t have much to say.
