When my husband proposed to me, there was no warning. He suddenly took my hand and said, “Let’s stop, I have something to say.”
”We have been together for a while, and I want to stay with you forever. You, I want to be better. I think you too?” The husband is usually clumsy, but this time the language is quite well organized.
We met at that time for only half a year, but hardly ever quarreled. He was on a business trip, so I invited people to visit the museum; when he entered the writing state, I would also make wine and tea. In their free days, the two went out for a self-driving tour. At home, there is often a lamp, a pot of tea, and two figures, each doing its own thing. As two older, late-married young people, we were both on the edge of thirty when we met. Before that, my love experience was full of drama. Every segment was like a lone boat sailing alone on the sea. It looked calm and calm, but my heart was full of drama, often full of sails and swords.
I used to think that love has to be like a roller coaster ride, high and low, diving down from a high altitude, everyone has to scream “ahhhhh”, this is just enjoyable. But when I met my husband, I found that love can flow slowly, and people can also get liberation and happiness from small things.
The day of obtaining the certificate soon arrived. On Children’s Day, we took a half-day vacation from our respective units. Unexpectedly, many people went to the Civil Affairs Bureau that day, and the team was very long. I waited in line to print all kinds of materials, and my husband sat in a chair beside him, opened the notebook and started to work. It was the staff’s turn to call us, he put away the notebook, took my hand and walked in. It takes less than five minutes to read the materials, sign, and seal. At the end of the process, we became legal couples.
We rejected a grand wedding ceremony. Fortunately, both parents also respected our opinions and allowed us to travel and get married. During a month of wandering in Europe, we drove through mountains, lakes, castles, and churches. Complete a transition of the life stage in my own way, that way is private, niche, and self.
Once, I thought marriage was a very important event, grand and full of ritual, but we let it pass quietly in this way. This was unimaginable before, you know, most literary and artistic young women are always romantic and passionate. I seem to have discovered a brand new self, which I have never understood.
Since when did you no longer feel that getting married is such a big deal? Probably this is the moment: when we neither improvise nor desire to be saved by others. When I wanted to understand this truth, I was twenty-eight years old. Before that, I had a crazy blind date for two years. It was two years of chaos. I was kidnapped by family sentiment, public opinion, and immature myself. Like a headless fly, I knew some people like a horse and watch to perform a task that I had to complete before I was thirty.
Until one day, when I was having dinner with a man who was totally out of sync and went home alone, I couldn’t help but ask myself: What is the real purpose of our pursuit of marriage? Isn’t the idea that success is too strong? Perhaps what I really yearn for is another kind of slowness, a kind of softness, an ideal state of stillness, or even inaction. So I decided to change.
Looking back now, the anxiety of marrying those years seems to have never happened. The matter of getting married has passed and completed in some trivial details, just like that, nothing special. This event finally arrived, and it slid over quietly, flying lightly across the water like a dragonfly, making some ripples, and finally returning to peace.
