I returned to a long-distance place. This kind of place is no stranger to me. When I was a kid, I was born in this kind of place and grew up savagely in this kind of place. The doctor said that a disease like me is suitable for living in such a place, and I wondered whether I would say goodbye to urban life ever since.
Linda said that my illness was caused by the stress of city life, and it was right to listen to the doctor. So I bought a place in the country and lived a life of paradise. There is a wood not far from the residence. I’ll run there without any problem, but I have never been in.
Linda said she couldn’t figure out what attracted me to that wood. One day, she couldn’t help asking me if she had been in the city for a long time and bored. This sentence is roughly equivalent to hiking or traveling can make people broaden their horizons and open their minds. I had promised to take her to travel, but she couldn’t make it, and she was always worried about it, and I felt that it was a debt to her. However, I am indeed a person who does not like to travel.
I couldn’t figure out what it was like to run into the woods. If the woods is a beautiful woman, this may be explained clearly, but it is not, besides, even the beautiful woman ever with Linda is out of my eyes. It’s not that Linda looks like a fairy, but that I really can’t live without her. Linda must ask me to answer so naturally, I can’t think of an answer if I scratch my scalp.
As soon as I came out of the hospital, I couldn’t help it and decided to resume my old business. Linda was unhappy with my eagerness to come back. Said I should continue to rest and recuperate. I know Linda’s kindness. I told him that you had persuaded me that depression was just a mental illness, and there was nothing terrible when you figured it out. My friends from the past came to me, and as long as I invested, I promised strong support in terms of human and material resources. Of course, they knew that I had the strength to come back, so they encouraged me to develop that wood.
Developing into real estate can make a lot of money.
I know that.
Below the woods are rivers, fields, and weeds.
I know that.
It takes a lot of labor and energy to level the woods.
I know that too.
The forest does not know whether it is basic farmland or other types of land.
I don’t know.
In short, my ambition was ignited by their words.
Seven years ago, my business was doing well, but the international market changed suddenly in the second half of the year, and overnight trading almost lost all of my old capital. I rushed to invest in stocks when I was in a hurry and wanted to gamble. I saw the downward curves on the broader market, and suddenly felt that my body was being lifted by something, and then smashed down like a rock, turning in a spiral, and then I knew nothing.
When I woke up, I found myself lying in a hospital bed. A woman who was fat, pink, tender, not tall or short, looked like she was in her twenties, she poke her head to my face and said that you were in a coma.
Later, I knew her name was Linda, who was my special care. For a while I suspected she was Russian, but she sympathized with me and took care of me. However, at first, my head was still unconscious, so that I could hardly recognize her as a woman, and the concept of keeping it in my mind was that there is only a creature in the world. Linda said the failure hit me too much.
After the physical illness got better, I still couldn’t sleep over and over. Linda suspected that I had depression, and suggested that I check it, which confirmed her conjecture. I want to cry, I think about it for a hundred. Linda said that depression is not terrible, you have to cooperate with treatment. I couldn’t sleep, Linda told me a story.
During that time, listening to Linda telling a story was the happiest thing for me, not because she talked so vividly, nor how beautiful the story itself was.
However, her voice was really nice, like a bird babbling in the forest, like a spring jumping on a rock. Although some stories are obviously fictional, I still feel the strong sense of reality, like listening to lullaby in the arms of my mother when I was young.
My understanding of Linda is gradually deepening. In fact, Linda was only thirty-two years old. When she said her age, she especially emphasized that number, as if to distance herself from me. “You are more than me, and you are not allowed to cry any more.” Linda said that her ex-husband was very gambling. She advised him not to gamble. If he didn’t listen, they would divorce, as if the reason for divorce was actually very simple.
I have no relatives except my son. Speaking of sadness, Linda wept bitterly, covering her face with her shoulders and shaking violently. Linda’s crying really scared me, and I held her in my arms. She fell down in my arms and cried. Cry for a while, then stop crying. When she left, I saw her eyes like the sky after the rain, clear and clear.
After a few days, she said sorry to me. She really loves her ex-husband too much, she really can’t figure out how he got into the gambling road, and she hates that she didn’t find out early. She told me not to tell anyone about my ex-husband. I promise not to, because I don’t have a good brain. She nodded to my head with her hand and said, you’re not having a bad brain, but you’re lacking in mind.
Every day I say the woods with excitement, as if the woods are all I live. When Linda was watching TV on the sofa, she didn’t say a word when I was talking. I wonder if it was upset or some other reason.
I decided to walk into the woods. The companion was Liu Ren, a friend of my friend who asked me to call him the director and said that he could help me. As soon as he met, he said that he would be famous for a long time. It would be better to see Baiwen. Today, he was lucky to see a real person for three lives.
In fact, I am least accustomed to listening to compliments from others. When others say compliments, my heart becomes hairy, as if it’s not me who speaks at all. I interrupted the compliment by giving him a cigarette. He took out a lighter from his pocket, lit a cigarette for me, and a cigarette for himself. He frowned and smoked as if smoking was a pattern of his thinking. Taking a few sips, tears and snot, and he held the cigarette in his palm, leaned over and asked, what was Qin’s most interested in.
Let me just talk about it, anyway, I don’t know anything here. What did he say, hesitant to say, our village is a famous economically weak village, with 172 households in the village, 825 people, 465 women, 360 men, and a serious male to female ratio Disorders, young adults go out to work, old and infirm are left to look after the house, empty nest old people abound.
In the past few years, the cadres who partnered with him have changed a bit, but he is still sticking to it. He doesn’t believe that he can’t change the appearance of the village. I said his wish would be realized soon. He thanked me for saying so.
We descended from the guillotine road and reached the bottom of the slope. The path along the puddle stretched into the woods like a snake. Canola fields surrounded large puddles with cluttered footprints, clear ruts, and broken glass and pieces of plastic. Presumably there must have been a car accident here. Imagine that the car’s head is stuck in the dirt, the driver stepped on the accelerator to pull the car out, but the body squatted on the slope, and the four wheels idled. Guess it must be the wrecker that dragged the car out.
At the scene of the crane accident again, what I feel is the thrill of a moment of life and death. Liu Ren was ruined with pitiful vegetables.
The trail was getting thinner and narrower, and I was worried that it would be a decapitated road. I found that I was getting less and less timid, unlike when I was afraid not to be afraid, and I was walking around Shanghai with my twenty yuan, and I became benevolent if I didn’t succeed.
When I walked in, I found that the surrounding trees were dense, and the trees were thin. The outer area is the tall Italian poplar, which is the raw material for making various boards, which has been all the rage in the past few years. Inside are various miscellaneous trees. There is a river beach on the open space in the forest. There is a film of water in the beach. There is no fish in the water. The grassy beach is like a big yellow carpet, and it spreads all the way from the foot, as if there is no end. Liu Ren said there were hares and pheasants here. Hare puppies are about the size of a child and can hit their feet while walking. A pheasant made from an altar-flavored chicken has an unusual taste. It peels its hair, opens its belly, and puts it in a small mouthful of altar. There is firewood underneath, and it is burned for two hours. A friend came from afar, and that’s good. Liu Ren painfully counted the extinction history of wild animals, as if counting a family was ruined by a group of unscrupulous offspring.
I talked briefly with Liu Ren about my experience. I said when I was eighteen years old, I was traveling around Shanghai with my backpack alone. When I first arrived in Shanghai, I was unfamiliar with life, had no relatives, and was hard to find work. I spent a penny as two cents, and even looked for food in the trash. When I was thirsty, I drank water and was tired Just slept in the bridge hole. Finally found a job to deliver bread, riding a tricycle to various supermarkets to deliver bread. After sending it for a while, I learned to make bread with the master in the shop. The teacher is good. Seeing my sweet taste and diligence, I will teach me all my skills. I learn fast. When the craft was learned, I started working as a baker in another bakery. Soon, I set up a bakery and became my own boss. My business is getting bigger and bigger, and I have opened several bakery chains. When I had a lot of money, I started a foreign trade business. The foreign trade business is very profitable and makes money fast, but it is greatly affected by the international market. No, the international financial crisis suddenly occurred, and the backlog of foreign trade products could not be sold in warehouses. Should not be wrong, when the foreign trade business loses money, anxious to get angry, buy stocks, and lose all the old capital. Just when I was on the brink of extinction, my assistant helped me successfully run another business, which made me a lot of money. Although your ex-wife is not beautiful, she is kind-hearted. This is what Linda said. She has seen my ex-wife. She said that your ex-wife should have swept away all of your property when you were sick, but she did not do so, she still left you some property, or can you have today? Linda’s words did not alleviate my resentment against my ex-wife, because she left me and flew high at the bottom of my career.
Liu Ren said that men will commit such problems, but he admires my courage to get up wherever he falls. I said no way. We are all peasants. We rely on the sky and the sky.
Tired of walking, we sat on the trunk and rested. Liu Ren said the tree was blown down by the wind. I ask what is the basis. Liu Ren said with his fingers that the roots of the tree were rising so thick that the roots were so deep that no ordinary manpower could do. How much wind is that? Liu Ren said it was a tornado. That year, 307 houses, all trees, mature crops, and other buildings on the vent were razed to the ground in a blink of an eye, and the direct economic loss was more than 50 million yuan, but they were not intimidated by the difficulties, and soon A home was rebuilt on the ruins.
It suddenly occurred to me that Linda seemed to have mentioned a tornado to me. I don’t know why she raised a tornado with me, and I don’t know if she was talking about that tornado. Finding a quiet place to live away from the hustle and bustle will help your physical recovery. Out of the hospital, Linda said. I really need a quiet place to rest, my brain is too messy, and I need to be emptied and put back the things I should put. Linda objected to me buying a country house, but I don’t know why she went wrong.
There are many bison flowers beside the path, and the small yellow flowers dotted the path. The thick leaves reach the center of the road. Strangely, in the season of withering flowers, such flowers are actually so tenacious. I saw some flowers stepping on the footprints, and I still felt that they were fallen and crushed into mud, and I bent down and pulled out the flower path that had not bounced. However, I was discouraged when I saw the front row of footprints.
The footpath covered with bison flowers kept us in front of the cabin. The cabin was built on a truncated bridge. The water depth under the broken bridge is bottomless. The cabin was too fragile, and I was afraid that a gust of wind would blow it into the river. The owner was not in the house, while a fishing net hung at the door, an iron dog was chained to an old dog. The dog was sleeping, probably awakened by our footsteps, raised his head lazily, glanced at us gently, and curled his head into his tail to sleep. Looking through the open door, the concrete floor in the room was littered with clothes, bedding, chai oil and salt, and various household items. I suddenly wondered who was living inside. Liu Ren said he was an lonely old man. At first he didn’t live here. He originally had a pair of children. When the son was young, he rescued a pair of fallen mother-in-law and died. When the daughter grew up, she never went back and never knew whether it was life or death. He lived here after his wife was blown away by a tornado.
Because I didn’t see the old man, I was very depressed on the way back, why the unlucky thing happened to the poor man.
Why do you want to see him? He is a lonely person, that is, you want to see him very much, but he may not want to see you.
Where will he go? In the midst of it, I felt a connection with him.
Where can he go? He has nowhere to go except for fishing. In terms of contact, everything in the world is more connected, just like you and I have never had any contact before, because when you come here, I will guide you, and we will have contact. In fact, sometimes the contact is not complicated at all. There is no need for good reasons, just like being irrelevant.
I suddenly felt that Liu Ren was wrong. Just ask, no one has thought of this land before. For example, if you want to develop it, you see that it has such commercial potential.
His commercial value has been manifested more than ten years ago. In the past few years, people often came to consult.
Why no one asked again?
Aren’t you interested in this land because of the few factories nearby? Thank you so much.
Let me tell you this first, depending on how the follow-up work is progressing.
When I got home, I talked to Linda about the path full of bison flowers. If I didn’t go out from the path in my hometown, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Linda said lukewarmly that you had gone. I am ambitious to tell her about the planning of the land. I will build a playground in the woods. The playground integrates dining, tourism and sightseeing, just like a city complex. Linda said that the playground must consider the flow of people and consumption levels. Where people come from and what their consumer positioning is, they must be considered in their entirety. I said that this has been initially considered, don’t worry about it.
When Linda heard me say this, she was suddenly angry and said that she was worried about eating radish in salt.
I don’t know why she said that, as if she started to show indifference to me. I thought that in order to help me thoroughly, on the day I was discharged, Linda made a major decision to quit the hospital and follow me. I did n’t do it until I knew Linda loved me. It made me feel more stressed. I wanted to wait and see. One day I would propose to you suddenly, and you would say that I was a daredevil. However, I still asked if Linda made such a big decision out of love. Linda laughed without answering. I am an undead person. Linda laughed and said, go to your love. I thought Linda was telling a joke.
But I have always been aware of the fact that although I have recovered my body, I still cannot fully take care of myself, because my life skills were lost before I came to the hospital. Fortunately, my ex-wife was kind and gave me a large portion of the money to sell the property, and I used the money to repurchase the property and the car. On the day I moved into my new house, Linda asked me what I planned to do in the future? I know that the reinstatement of the old industry she is referring to is stock speculation. In her opinion, it is gambling. I shook my head and said that I haven’t settled down yet. Although revisiting the old industry is well-known, it is a way out, so we need to plan well, and I must ask her for advice when I have to settle down. Linda gave me a big kiss. Then we had our first married life in the strict sense. Afterwards, I said this should be love. Unexpectedly, Linda Yizheng said seriously that it was a long way off. However, she made me understand that this is just the beginning of cohabitation.
Linda never mentioned her family, as if she had no family. In order for me to have a clean recovery environment, she sent her son to the country aunt ruthlessly. I mentioned to her the old man in the woods. I said the old man’s son was drowned because of the rescue. I said the old man’s wife was blown away by the tornado, and the old man’s house was also taken away by the tornado. Linda’s face paled, she covered her ears and said she didn’t want to listen, then shouted hysterically, please don’t say any more. I asked her what happened, she covered her belly and said she felt a little sick.
Over the next few days, I found Linda acting strangely, looking suspicious. For several nights, she woke up in her dream and hugged me and said she was scared. I asked what was dreamed, and she said nothing. But I inferred from her panicked face that I must have dreamed of something that made her very scared.
The project is progressing fast, and victory is in sight. I invited Liu Ren and other local village officials to eat at the village hotel. During the meal, I drank a lot of wine, rolled my tongue, and said that when the project is completed, I invite everyone to drink Maotai. When she returned home, Linda smelled the wine and vomited everything she ate. When she looked pale, she asked if she was ill, or if she wanted to see a doctor. After she vomited, leaning backlessly on the back of the bed, she said, Are you stupid? I said I don’t know. She shyly said she was pregnant. When I asked about things, she said it had been more than a month. I said loudly that I was going to be a dad, so I hugged her. She scared her hands around my neck and said, “Are you crazy?” She asked me to hurry her down, and I walked around the bedroom with her in my arms before putting her on the bed. I said let’s get the marriage certificate. She asked me why I said it at this time. I said you are pregnant with my child, and you are my child’s mother. Linda sighed and said she didn’t want to say this now. I say what you want to say despite saying. She said, could you please do not develop that land. I said it was impossible, and I expect this project to come back to life. In fact, I don’t think so. What I thought was that I married Linda. Linda had children. Linda would have children with me in the future, as well as my children, Linda’s family, my family, all need money. It left me some money, but I can’t just sit back and eat. I have a responsibility and pressure to feed a family.
All losses are well compensated, and things are stuck in demolition. Liu Ren said, can we not hang from a tree. I knew what he meant, and let me take advantage of the old man’s fishing and use the bulldozer to push all the cabins into the river. I don’t agree. A house that is small and broken is a house. Besides, I don’t like this sneaky behavior. I hope to see the old man talk openly with him and explain to him the significance of this project to all the villagers. Liu Ren said I was too kind. I know what he is saying is that kindness cannot make a big deal.
Linda cried on the phone. I had a bad idea in my head, but I never thought she would have a miscarriage. Linda managed to make things clear. I said, why are you so careless, just drop the phone and rush home. I think Linda must be very sad, but this is our first child, who has lived together for so many years, and we have not taken contraception every time.
Once, Linda asked me why I didn’t use a condom. I said I really wanted a son. She held me tight and shouted loudly. I have never seen Linda so crazy. But Linda was not pregnant. At first I thought she wouldn’t get pregnant, after all, she had a small birth before. Seeing Linda’s anxiety, I comforted her by saying that if we do n’t have children, it does n’t mean that we are unhappy together. Without children, we can devote more energy to our favorite career.
As soon as Linda saw me, she kept saying sorry. I said sorry to me, I didn’t take good care of you. Linda cried louder. I held her in my arms and said, caressing her back, don’t be sad, as long as we raise our body, we will have children in the future. Linda suddenly got out of my arms and didn’t cry. She stared at me desperately and said firmly, no! Then he held his hair in his hands and drew down. Linda’s move scared me. I thought she was crazy, so she twisted her hand to keep her from moving. She begged me to let her sting, saying that she was too painful. I said this was self-harm. If you really want to get rid of your hair, get rid of my hair. Anyway, I do n’t have much hair, so I ’m just going to be a monk. She no longer frowns her hair, and draws together to say that she dreams of the poor old man. His son drowned because of saving lives. He likes gambling. His wife advised him not to gamble, and he drove his wife out of the house. I asked his wife later. She said her husband was begging along the road and was killed by a car. I asked his daughter. She said her daughter never forgave her father and ran away from home. I asked my daughter how it is now. She said she didn’t know what to do now. I said whether his daughter would never forgive his father. She said leisurely, who knows. Say no more about this, talk about heart. Then she broke aside and said that he was so good at everything, it was bad gambling. It looks like she hates gambling. The man who is gambling is actually selfish, she said, so I must divorce him.
She also said, can you not develop the woods, only when I beg you, give me a chance to feel at ease.
I said it was too late and the arrow had to be fired on the string.
Linda stared at me as if she didn’t know me. Whether you take care of my feelings is different from gambling behavior. We suddenly felt strange to each other for the first time.
Linda fell asleep in her bedroom and made a loud snore. I smoked left and right in my bedroom. I like to use this method to relieve the depression in my heart, but today seems to be very useless. The body is lazy and agitated, and has no sleepiness. I’ve been here for many nights. But today, the more I smoke, the more chaotic my brain is, and the more chaotic my brain is, the more I want to smoke. I thought a lot. I thought about how bitter I was when I was a kid. I did n’t have a meal with no meals; without a mother, I did n’t have any clothes to wear; Aggrieved and frustrated, just hold on. For so many years, I have persisted like this, I believe that persistence is victory.
The sky was as gray as dove wings from the window, and my mind was awake. I’ve figured out what to do next, or what the next step is.
From a distance, the woods were wrapped in a circle of lights, and those twinkling lights were like gold belts in the woods. At this time, there is still a long time before dawn, so it is not the darkest time of dawn. This hour is the time when people enter dreamland, but it is a busy start for some specific people.
Entering from the decapitation road, I seemed to enter a castle wrapped in the night. From the treetops, the stars looked like bright gems, and fell on the faint blue sky. The autumn bugs screamed in the grass, in the trees, on the grassy beaches, in the ponds … wherever they lived, the sound was so close, like a tiny motor stuffed into the ear.
Walking on the path full of bison flowers, I know my steps are chaotic, and I say sorry to you in my heart, I ca n’t maintain my straight posture today, please forgive me for stepping on your body I will put you in beautiful flower beds for tourists to appreciate.
The coughing in the darkness was so clear. I guess he’s back from the net. With a faint candlelight, he arranged the fishing nets in front of the cabin. His movement was so slow, as if he should do one thing with great care, as if he was not in a hurry to go down the street, and guessed that his catch today would not be much. I went to him and coughed before he raised his head, looked at me blankly, and then smiled. I handed him a cigarette, he took it, clipped it to his ears, and coughed as soon as he smoked.
I said there were not many fish.
I can’t tell the street.
He hung the prepared fishing net on a hook. The dog woke up and looked at me with a gaze, as if to say I knew you. I apologize for not bringing good food to it. The dog fell asleep again, and actually purred. The old man sat on a stool, looked at the river in front of the door, and looked at the stars in the sky, and the box opened. My mind followed his words.
In the heavy rain, a young woman led her child and was anxious to go to her mother’s house on the other side. In such a heavy rain, the boatman would not sail the ship anyway, but she begged the boatman to say that her mother was in critical condition, and she was going to see the last one, and it was too late, I’m afraid I wouldn’t see it. The boatman was a fiery young man. He was moved by a woman and decided to break this example.
It was a fact that the boat was to be overturned by the river until the other side, the old man said.
This is true, I certified said.
In fact, the river water is not too deep, but the waves are rushing and the water is muddy. People are not drowned, but they are choked to death by muddy water. The old man continued to correct.
I know he has to put this fact out. His son is very watery, but physically weak, and panicked by a woman’s screaming exhaustion.
I talked to Liu Ren about that experience when he was a child. Liu Ren seemed to listen to the heavens and nights, and said that there are so many coincidences in the world. I said that there are too many coincidences. I wonder why Linda didn’t go to her father for so many years. Is it because she didn’t have the courage to go to him, just like I did not have the courage to face the fact of failure and became sick. The lack of courage to face the fact of failure is the best excuse for choosing a disease. Linda asked me why I was sick, and I uttered this sentence. Remember when Linda shook her head like a rattle and said, this is not true, the fact should be behind the truth. So what’s behind the facts? I have been puzzled by this.
Linda is not at home. I expect she must go for a walk. Walking is her habit of maintaining perfect body shape. Besides, the environment we live in still has great appeal to her. Linda’s quilt was rolled like a bun, and my hand reached in and felt hot, and it was inferred that her body had not left the quilt for a long time. I saw a spread advertisement sheet on my desk with the words left by lipstick: I hate gambling, I hate all gamblers. My head turned suddenly, and the note was shaking in my hand. Suddenly remembered a sentence Linda said: One day I leave here, you never want to get me back.
On the way to the station, Liu Ren called and said that the bulldozer had been driven to the edge of the woods, and the old man was not there, just in time. He asked me to order. I said jerk. He asked what was going on. I didn’t say it was just inaccurate, and then hung up. A footpath by the woods appeared in front of my eyes, and bison flowers spread around.