Screaming, Mom and Dad really became Mom and Dad. In their entire lives, they did not walk outside hand in hand. Now that they are older, Dad will finally pull up his mother’s hand when crossing the road. But when he was on the other side of the road, he would let go again, as if it was just a good thing.
Mom and Dad have a typical marriage in the 1960s. When my mother went to her father’s middle school for an internship, she should feel right to each other, introduced by someone, and then get married and work independently. We are all brought up by grandma. In my childhood, I have never seen any parents whose parents would take their children to the park on Sunday. At that time, there was only one day off a week. For the country to distribute electricity, the radio industry where my mother was staying was on Wednesday, and my father and we were on Sunday. And usually, Dad always comes home when we are almost at bedtime. The family reunion time is very little, and finally there is a rest day, mother to do clothes, make up clothes, father to receive his colleagues and students.
Like all people of that era, the only personal thing my mom and dad did was to give birth to my sister and me. We all live in grandma’s house, and my aunt and uncle also live in grandma’s house. The younger aunt is responsible for buying vegetables, the mother is responsible for cooking, and the grandmother takes care of us. The man does not have to do any housework. Dad had a meal and a good night’s sleep when he came home, and he won the respect of his grandmother: “A man stays at home and is called a man!” In a large family, the son-in-law actually gets along with the mother-in-law. When the grand yard of the grandmother’s house faced demolition, my parents suddenly realized that in the future, everyone had to live independently. What makes them feel even more at a loss is that they have to face each other for 24 hours-they are all reaching retirement age.
After thirty years of marriage, they bid farewell to the grandma’s public life and began a real small family life. Naturally, they quarreled constantly. My sister and I, who have been away from home for many years, often receive complaints from our mothers: “Let him go buy vegetables and buy back ten tomatoes and two catty grass heads. Have you seen two catty grass heads? Full three bags. Forget it, He will not be allowed to buy groceries in the future. Will you always buy biscuits? I do n’t know which female salesperson fooled him. I bought two packs of biscuits that were packed and scared to death. Expensive … “The mother sighed over the phone, and finally it came down to her father’s body.” The son of the landlord, there is no way! ”
No way. Dad puts emphasis on form, mom puts emphasis on content, and aesthetic principles that have not been reconciled in his life. In his later years, he will return to their lives intensified. Dad’s room is Chinese paintings, famous flowers, and new furniture. Mom’s room is sewing machine, TV, and old furniture. Mom turned the yard into a wild vegetable plot, and Dad turned the living room into a spotless study. Mom doesn’t look in the mirror when going out. Father needs to clean up when he sees guests. In the words of mom, it doesn’t seem to be a human face without applying some cream. They always go out one after the other, and every time their mother waits impatiently for his father, the security guard in the community realizes that they are a couple after a long time. However, after many years of their own actions, they were summed up by their dad as “going out one by one”, and promoted among relatives. The central meaning is that when going out one after another, the probability of being found by the thief is greatly reduced .
My mother knew that this was Dad’s flower head, but she ate it. For so many years, my mom always let my dad eat and dress well, and steamed his little yellow croaker for breakfast. The electric lamp at home is broken and my mother changes; the TV is broken and my mother repairs it; the water pipe is blocked and my mother is connected. My mom is always the one who is working hard, and my dad does one thing for my mom-every morning, I take a pill from a pill bottle filled with English that my mom can’t understand: “Hey, take one “My mom ate calcium tablets, and Optimus went out to work like a house. She didn’t eat it when the weather was bad. In my mother’s simple materialistic worldview, calcium needs the sun, so she only supplements calcium when the sun is there.
My father was reading while my mother was busy in the vegetable garden. Dad sometimes complains that his mother is too busy in the field, but what does mom think, what do both of them stay in the room? My sister and I encouraged them to go to other places and foreign countries to see, but they never moved. I sometimes think that maybe they are still adapting to each other. On a rainy day, when my mother can’t work in the vegetable garden, my father will go out for a long walk. He said the air is good on a rainy day.
My mother also tried to let her father learn to do something. Two years ago, my mother’s eyes were going to be operated on. She didn’t worry about herself at all, only what her father would do during the hospitalization. She let her dad learn how to cook. She demonstrated in the front, and her dad took a recipe in the back. As soon as the mother’s dish was out of the pot, he sprinkled a spoonful of salt into it, and then the mother was angry, and the two broke up. The mother wore sunglasses to go home to cook the day after the operation. My sister and I said that my mother’s life was bitter, but my aunt felt that if it weren’t for my dad, my mom would not be so good. Is this how the generations get along? However, my dad’s mother wore sunglasses to cook the braised pork photo, although it has a bit of magical realism, but it is very imposing.
This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of their marriage. As soon as my sister and I proposed a golden wedding commemoration at the dinner table, they met with their common opposition, as if their marriage could not get on the table. For fifty years, my father has never bought a flower for my mother. For a period of time, he studied in Beijing, wrote letters to his family, and the recipients were also grandparents. He came back from Beijing and did not bring a special gift to his mother. Dad said that your mother only likes oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, and it is hard to please her with anything she buys. She hardly buys new clothes. She will change the trousers that her father does n’t wear. There are two wardrobes at home, but Dad’s clothes account for most of them. Every year after the rainy season, we have a custom called “dry mold”, which is to pick a sunny day and dry all the clothes and quilts. My parents’ clothes will be taken out to dry when they are young. My father’s clothes are obviously more than my mother’s. Mother only has a floral dress. She is very special. This dress was not worn by her when she was married, nor was it bought by her father. My sister and I have always imagined this dress as a special gift from the imagination of adolescence, from a lover before mother’s marriage or something. Many years later, when I helped them sort out the old photos, I discovered that this dress was worn by my mother during her internship at Dad ’s school. Six of their intern teachers took this photo at the entrance of Ningbo No. 4 Middle School. Their smiles were not clear, but the little floral dress was flying, and my mother must be very happy at that time.
Just like the girl who is going to marry in the Ozu movie, when she put the small floral dress into the box, she gave herself another password, which had no room for her to be coquettish or willful. Give it all. Even when she is angry, she will make dinner for her father, because in her heart, like her grandmother, she feels that a man should dedicate himself to work.
This is my father and mother, they are now almost eighty. Because Dad did the imaginary things and bought the flashy things, they would still quarrel. After the quarrel, Mom went to the vegetable garden to get angry, and Dad continued to wait for Mom to cook dinner. In this life, Dad only learned to work, not learned to be a husband. However, when I saw that the current movies and TV shows are full of affectionate men, I think men like my dad with serious flaws are much better than the little men who scratch their ears and worry about women. And mom, from the perspective of feminism, it is simply too much to be educated, but in this world polluted by boundless love and love rhetoric, I think Mom ’s life is much cleaner and brighter.